一直到最後我們都沒有再講話。。。 Till the very end, we did not speak to each other again…
There was no big quarrel or fight, just some tiny childhood misunderstanding, just for that we did not speak to each other ever again…
He was actually my childhood companion and good friend. We were only in primary school then. One day as we were having some badminton game, over some rule he became very angry with me and had a small argument with me. After that he did not speak to me again.
Actually children have quarrels all the time but they reconcile again very fast, just I do not know why we never spoke to each other ever again after that! I realised children can hold grudges for a long time too. As the silence prolonged, I began to feel awkward too and did not know how to befriend him again.
Few years later I left home to pursue my secondary education in Kuching, and that truly broke off my contact with him completely. I would only go back to my hometown once every few years, and because it was a small town, we inevitably would bump into each other. I somehow felt he did not seem very friendly towards me, so I did not take the initiative to greet him or reconcile too. As the years went by, the number of times I came home greatly reduced. After my return from overseas, I continued to live in Kuching and very seldom went home, so I had no more attachment with the people, environment and happenings in my hometown…
It must have been more than twenty years later, one day when my mum came out from our hometown to visit, she suddenly told me he had committed suicide and died… I was very shocked! I could not believe and felt sad and sorrowful…
I was already a preacher by then, this friend still appeared in my mind many times. He was very superstitious since young, so I had often thought if I had a chance, I would go home to reconcile with him and share the Gospel with him, but I never had the chance again…
Because mum was familiar with them, mum said he had all along been very superstitious, and even became a monk for a short period, and later worshipped many idols as well. It appeared that he was searching for some comfort in his soul. Sources said the day before he killed himself, he seemed to lose hope in everything, he put all his idols in a pile and destroyed them all and he drank pesticide to kill himself after that! He did not die immediately after his suicide attempt, during the few days he struggled with death, mum visited him in the hospital, he could not speak anymore by then. Mum persuaded him to believe in Jesus, he used to be very resistant but mum said this time he seemed to listen , and with teary eyes agreed for mum to pray for him.
He died few days later…
I have some regret in my heart, he was such a lonely and pitiful man, why did I not speak to him at all again?
Childhood companion, the fun, laughter, memories all flash across my mind, I can still remember once I almost drowned while swimming in the river and it was him who saved my life…
And just over a small game, a little misunderstanding, losing a friend for that, is it worth it?
May we share our love with others whenever we have a chance, quickly do what our hearts prompt us to do, do not delay further or we might regret later.
May God have mercy on him too that at that very last moment when mum was persuading him to believe in Jesus, I pray that his heart did call on the name of the Lord…