他痛苦的說：我不要死。。。 He said painfully: I don’t want to die…
I have forgotten which year it was, I can only remember I was practising some songs for Christmas that afternoon. The phone rang…
The other side conveyed me the news that he had committed suicide, they asked whether I could go to the hospital. The doctor said there was no hope and he would not survive through that night…
I was stunned! My mind was blank! Was he not alright just three days ago? Was I not counselling him then in my office? Why did he do this foolish thing again?
I could not leave immediately, I could only go at night. I prayed for God’s mercy that He would perform a miracle that I would still be able to see him and talk to him, or perhaps that he would live miraculously…
He was a single man of slightly more than thirty years old. He was suffering from depression, the result of superstitiously believing in some fortune-teller’s nonsense and waiting for the “day” he would strike gold but it never came and he had a breakdown.
When he first came to church, messy hair, shrivelled shirt, and some unpleasant body odour, you could tell he was full of worries, could also tell his mental condition was not so sound, and there was no need to guess that he had no friend.
After the service, he came up to be prayed for. I laid hand on him. There was a prompting in my heart to give him a hug to let him know Jesus loves him and that I do not reject him too… but… what with his not very sound mind, and appearance, and the smell…? Anyway, I obeyed my heart and gave him a hug and subsequently I would try my best to give him a hug each time after I had prayed for him.
Once, on his own initiative, with a smiling face he told us no one could ever see him smile before.
He began to have some hope for living though his mental condition was still in the process of getting better.
Not everyone at home was a Christian, inadvertently they could not stand a grown man not going out to work to earn some money.
So on and off they would push him to go look for a job.
Three days before he committed suicide he came to see me, telling me he could not handle the pressure from home.
I continued to encourage him and held his hand to pray with him. He could even shake my hand and smile and say thanks to me.
I thought everything would be alright, then suddenly the news came… ( To be continued…)