他痛苦的說：我不要死。。。（續） He said painfully: I don’t want to die… (Part 2)
我到医院了解状况，医生说因为他喝了杀虫剂，他的喉咙、气管和胃都烧坏了，不能再吃和喝东西，情况很糟糕，应该过不了今晚。
我走到他床边，他看到我，他很清醒，还能说话。我握住他的手，我说为什么要这样做？
他很激动的看着我，眼泪在眼眶打转，说：牧师，对不起，我不要死，我現在真的不要死了。。。耶稣会原谅我吗？
我为他祷告，求主赦免和怜悯，也求主彰显神迹。我午夜十一点左右离开，那时他还不能吃东西，本以为他那晚就会去世的。。。
神迹发生了！第二天早上医院传过来的消息说，他精神很好，而且竟然能够正常的吃和喝！但X光明明显示那是不可能的，因为喉咙、食道、一直到胃等等，真的都烧坏了！
我都很怀疑医生的诊断或有没有看错，医生却还是很肯定，只是没办法解释这现象。。。
他继续正常几天，我开始相信他会活下来。
第四天，院方来消息说。。。
他死了。
我很震惊！
据说，第三天下午他把母亲叫来医院，求母亲原谅，说他不是一个好儿子，没好好照顾及供应给母亲。
然后，听隔壁床的说，他那天晚上就一直轻轻的唱诗歌到凌晨，然后就很安静了。
隔壁的以为他因为累而睡着了，哪知护士来检查时，他已安然去世，没有痛苦、没有挣扎。。。
自己轻轻赞美敬拜主而离开这个世界，我想这是主给他的怜悯吧？我也相信是主亲自来把他接回天家了。
在丧礼的那一天，他母亲特别走过来告诉我他儿子说，虽然他很没用，但是这世界还有一个人爱他。他告诉他母亲说牧师爱他，每次都会抱他一下。。。
想到这里，我感到惭愧，这么容易的一个举动，有时候我都不太愿意给，可是这个小举动 却让他感受到世界还有人爱他。
然而，我也感恩我有顺服神在我心中的感动。。。
主啊，让我的心永远不要刚硬，让我时刻能体会你的心，而会甘心顺服你旨意。。。
I went to the hospital to understand the situation. The doctor said because he drank pesticide, his throat, trachea and stomach were all burnt and damaged, so he could not eat or drink anything anymore. The condition was very severe, the doctor predict he could not survive through that night.
I walked towards his bed. He looked at me, he was very alert and could still speak. I held his hand and asked why he did that.
He looked at me with much emotion, tears circling his eyes and said, “Pastor, I’m sorry, I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die now… Will Jesus forgive me?”
I prayed for him, for the Lord to forgive and have mercy on him, and also for God to manifest His miracle. I left at about eleven midnight, at that time he still could not eat anything. I thought he would pass away that night…
Miracle happened! News from the hospital the next morning said he was very alert mentally, and he could even eat and drink normally! But the X-ray report clearly stated that was not possible because his throat etc all the way to the stomach were all damaged! I really doubted the doctor’s conclusion or examination, the doctor was still very adamant though could not explain the phenomenon… He continued to be normal for the next few days. I began to believe that he was going to survive.
On the fourth day, report from the hospital…
He died.
I was very shocked!
I heard, in the afternoon on the third day, he called his mother to his side. He asked for forgiveness from his mother saying he was not a good son, that he did not take good care of and provide for her. Then, according to the patient next to his bed, that night he was singing songs of praise softly and continuosly till dawn, and he became very quiet.
His neighbour thought he must have grown tired and fell asleep, but when the nurse came around to check, he had passed away peacefully, no pain, no struggle…
Singing softly to the Lord till he left this world, guess that was God’s mercy for him? And I also believe it was the Lord Himself who came to bring him home.
On the day of the funeral, his mother came over specially to me and told me her son said, though he was useless, there was still someone who loved him in this world. He told his mother that his pastor loved him and would hug him everytime…
I felt ashamed as I think about this, such an easy act and sometimes I would be so unwilling to give. And yet this little act caused him to feel there was still someone who loved him in this world.
However, I did thank God I obeyed His prompting in my heart.
O Lord, may my heart never grow hard, may I feel Your heart every moment and willingly obey Your desire…