她弄我哭了。。。 She made me cry…

我一边开车,一边想着刚才她讲的那一番话,一阵鼻酸,我赶快抬头,不让眼泪流下来。。。
As I was driving, I thought about what she said just now, I had a sudden urge to cry, I quickly lifted up my head so my tears would not roll down…

 

 

通常都是她跟我说她头发长了、乱了。。。问我是否能带她去修剪整理,因她知道我常常都很忙。
可今天我自己心血来潮,自己安排带她去弄头发,去接她时,她很开心,但她竟然问说:是你自己想要带我去的吗?
唉,听她这样问,我也很惭愧,一定是我很少这样做。。。

Normally it is her who tells me that her hair has grown long and messy… and she will ask whether I could bring her to do her hair as she knows I am always very busy.
But today I myself had this sudden urge to bring her, so when I went to fetch her, she was very happy, but she asked me this as well: Are you bringing me on your own initiative?
Sigh, I felt ashamed upon hearing that, it must be so rare that I would do something like that for her…

 

 

就是在去理发的途中,她跟我聊了让我很心酸的话题。。。
她问我的意见,她应该被埋葬在哪里?在家乡林梦跟爸爸一起吗,还是在古晋比较方便。。。?
我有点错愕,因没心理准备。后来我跟她说,重要的是我们去哪里,不是埋葬在哪里;我说弟弟也埋在不同的地方,但爸爸和弟弟都在天堂在一起了。

她听了若有所思,仿佛忆起什么,然后很高兴和安心的说:是啊,你爸爸要离开的时候,我跟他说到天堂找我们的小儿子,你爸爸微微的笑了笑,就安然的离开了,我们一定会在天堂见的。。。
我知道她想念爸爸和弟弟了,弟弟已经去世33年,做母亲的始终还会思念自己的孩子。。。

It was during the journey to the hairdresser that she shared with me a topic that kind of made me feel like crying…
She asked my opinion as to where she should be buried? Whether in our hometown with my father, or in Kuching which is more convenient…?
I was kind of taken aback as I was not prepared for this topic. Then I told her the important thing is where we are going and not where we are buried, and I said my little brother was also buried at a different place but he is now in heaven with father.

She seemed to be thinking after hearing that as if she recalled something, then happily and feeling assured she said: You’re right, when your dad was about to leave, I told him to go look for our youngest son in heaven, your dad smiled at me and departed peacefully, we will surely meet in heaven…
I know she is missing dad and my little brother, my brother passed away 33 years ago, but a mother will certainly miss her own child..

 

 

头发做好了,送妈回去了。。。
一个人开车回家,想着跟妈的对话,眼眶满了泪水。。。
但我很感恩,因为妈妈不惧怕死亡,且充满盼望,认识神就有这个恩典。

Her hair was done, I sent her home…
Driving home alone in my car, I thought of the whole conversation with mum, tears welled up in my eyes…
But I am very thankful, for mum is not afraid of death, but is full of hope, that is the grace for knowing God.

 

我心里面也想,我应该给妈更多时间,与更主动带她出去做她喜欢的事。。。
只要能呼吸就要珍惜。。。

And I thought in my heart as well that I must give mum more time, and to have more initiative to take her out to do things she likes…
Treasure it while we can still breathe…