我不会写歌了！ I don’t know how to write songs anymore!
我不会写歌了！
I don’t know how to write songs anymore!
那段日子我真的是这样想过，特别是2003年。。。几天前翻开我旧创作歌本而回想起。。。
发现原来2003年就只写了一首歌！然后我也读旁边与下面的笔录。。。
During that period of time, I really had such a thought, especially in 2003… I recalled those days when I turned the pages of the song book of my older compositions…
I discovered I only wrote but one song in the year 2003! And I read too my notes I wrote down beside and below that song…
下面写着我已怀疑自己失去这恩赐，所以当写完“爱到永远”时都不会分辨这首歌好听不好听，却只有感恩无论如何还是写完了一首歌。。。
没写歌其中一个原因是有好几年我的喉咙出现严重状况，只要是不在台上我就无法好好唱歌，私底下无论是要灵修敬拜或尝试要写歌都会唱得非常辛苦，常常失声、走调，或唱不上。。。
久而久之私底下就放弃唱歌了，也逐渐失去写歌的灵感或因为我的状况而根本没心情写，所以也渐渐有这个隐忧在心中，认为说：我不会写歌了！
是什么又激发我写歌的恩赐呢？我当时写完”爱到永远“也有记录下来。。。
原来是去了印尼棉兰诗歌布道后，回程在飞机上的感动。。。
Below wrote, I wondered whether I had already lost my song-writing gift, that was why after completing “Love Forever” I was not even sure whether the song was nice, but I was grateful nonetheless then because at least I could complete a song…
The reason I did not write songs then was, for a few years I encountered serious vocal or throat problem. As long as I was not on stage, I was not able to sing properly. Privately, whether wanting to worship during my quiet time or attempting to write songs, it was a torture just to sing, I often lost my voice, sang out of key or could not reach high notes…
So after a while, I gave up singing during my private time, and I began to lose the inspiration to write or I simply had no mood to write at all due to my condition. So I slowly had that nagging concern in my heart: I don’t know how to write songs anymore!
What motivated my song-writing gift again? I recorded that after completing “Love Forever” too…
It was the conviction I received in the flight on my way home after my evangelistic concert in Medan, Indonesia…
因之前的“牵我的手”和其他福建诗歌在棉兰引起的共鸣，和救了许多灵魂，让我自觉惭愧为什么没有善用上帝给我的写歌恩赐来继续创作，祝福听福建话的社群。。。
但我的另一个问题是，我的福建词汇非常有限，所懂的福建词句就只那么几个，感觉是已江郎才尽！所以，我在飞机上就跟上帝认罪悔改因我没继续认真写歌，但也求他印证是还要我写福建歌，若是他就要给我新的感动。。。结果上帝就以这首“爱到永远”给了我印证，也让我发现在我糟糕的喉咙状况之下，在我软弱和放弃的当儿，他对我的爱是不改变的。。。
Because of the previous “Khan Gua e Chiu” (Hold My Hand) and other Hokkien songs that won good rapport in Medan, and saved many souls, I felt ashamed that I did not properly use the gift God gave me to continue writing songs to bless the Hokkien community…
But I had one other problem, my Hokkien language is limited, I thought my Hokkien vocabulary was totally used up and I felt I had nothing more to offer! So in the flight I repented to God for not continuing to write songs seriously, and I prayed for His confirmation too that if He wanted me to write Hokkien songs again, then He would have to give me new inspirations…
As a result, God used this song “Love Forever” to confirm, also to show me despite my terrible throat condition and in the midst of my weaknesses and giving-up, God’s love for me was still unchanging…
感谢主，“爱到永远”也是一首感动了很多人的歌。。。可是之后，我又没写歌了！很大的原因跟我的喉咙有关，结果2004年也只写了三首歌，而且没有一首是福建歌！
好吧，那就改天再跟你们分享我其他写歌的故事吧。。。
Thank God “Love Forever” is also a song that touches many people… But after that, I stopped writing again! The biggest reason was to do with my throat condition, so I managed to write three songs only as well in 2004, and none was a Hokkien song!
Oh well, I shall share with you some other song-writing stories again some other day…
但有一件事我很清楚知道，若不是上帝，我真的是不会写歌。。。
But one thing for sure, if not for God, I really don’t know how to write songs…
