那天，我不知该说什么。。。 That day, I did not know what to say…
我还在睡觉，我的电话响起，本不想接，因为我在雅加达，长途电话很贵。。。可是电话声没停止，我接了。
是田圣表哥，我以为他要谈油漆的事情，可是不是。
他说联络不上在台湾的田圣，问我有办法吗。。。然后他突然哭出来说，田圣他妈妈今早突然去世了！
我如梦初醒，一时无法回神，呆了一下，不知如何回应。。。
他托我联络及告诉田圣。
我脑子里一片凌乱，被各样念头充斥着：懊恼、沮丧、自责、后悔、伤痛、困惑。。。
神啊！我该如何跟田圣报告这消息？他也只不过回到台湾两天而已。。。这就发生了！
联络上了，我告诉他家里有事，你要马上订飞机票回来。他说发生什么事？谁出事情？我一时不知如何回答。。。
他继续问说是妈妈吗？我说是。
他说妈妈怎样了？我鼓起勇气轻轻的说，妈妈走了。。。
他反应说：真的吗？然后就变得很安静、很安静。。。
我还能说什么？我还能做什么？心里不断呼求主来安慰、来掌管。。。
I was still sleeping, my phone rang, I did not want to answer because I was still in Jakarta, long distance calls are expensive…. but it did not stop so I answered.
It was Daniel’s cousin, I thought he wanted to talk about the paint but no.
He said he could not manage to get Daniel who was in Taiwan and asked for my help… Then suddenly he burst out crying and said Daniel’s mother had just passed away suddenly that morning!
I was like rudely awakened from my dream and shocked, my mind could not compute and I was stunned! I did not know how to respond…
He asked for my help to contact and inform Daniel.
My mind was still confused and mixed with all kinds of thoughts: perplexity, sadness, self-blame, regret, pain, confusion…
O God, how am I going to tell Daniel? He had only returned to Taiwan barely two days ago… and now this happened!
I got in touch with him. I told him something happened at home and asked him to book the air ticket to fly home immediately. He asked me as to what happened and who? I did not know how to answer…
He continued asking: is it mother? I said yes.
He asked what happened to mother? I gathered up my courage and said softly, mum has left…
He responded with: Is it true? And immediately became very quiet, very quiet…
What else could I say? What else could I do? I just kept crying out to the Lord in my heart to comfort and take charge…
我叫祖听电话，我们开始一切联络，安排机票等等。
虽然田圣说他可以自己飞回来，我还是要祖陪他回来；刚好我也那天由吉隆坡转机回古晋，我就换迟一点的班机在吉隆坡等他们。
见面时，都是很沉默，我只能抱他一下，把手搭在他肩上，一直静静坐在他身边。。。
除了勉强说出几句慰问和鼓励的话，我也没有话好说了，因为我知道人说什么都无济于事，只有神的灵和神的爱才能真正医治和安慰。
I asked Jaydon to take over the phone, we started arranging for everything, air tickets and so on.
I wanted Jaydon to fly home with Daniel even though Daniel said he would come back alone. I happened to be transitting to Kuching at KL airport too that day, so I changed to a latter flight to wait for them there in KL.
When we met, it was all very silent. I could only give him a hug and after that just put my hand on his shoulder and sat beside him quietly throughout…
Apart from forcing a few words of comfort and encouragement, I had nothing else to say as I knew human words could not do anything, only the Spirit and the love of God could minister true healing and comfort.
抵达古晋机场已经半夜了，好多弟兄姐妹都来接机。他没打招呼，也没跟任何人说话，我们就直接开车往殡仪馆。
他一下车就走向棺木瞻仰母亲遗容，没有哭、没有声音，就站在那边看着母亲好久好久。他一动也不动，手指紧抓住棺木边缘。。。
我也只能站在他的身后陪着他，我头脑一片空白，我没有话好说。。。单单看着他的背影，我的心也碎了。
When we arrived in Kuching, it was already midnight, may brothers and sisters were there waiting at the airport. He did not greet or talk to anyone. We went straight to the funeral parlour.
As soon as he got out of the car, he walked straight to the casket and just looked at his mother’s face. He did not cry, he did not make a sound, he just stood there looking at his mum for a very long time. He did not move at all, his fingers holding tightly to the edge of the casket…
I could only stand behind him to accompany him, I had nothing to say, my mind was blank… Just by looking at his back, my heart broke to pieces.
一段时间过后，他允许我载他回家梳洗了再倒回殡仪馆守夜。
我永远不会忘记他走进他与妈妈共用了二十七年的小房间的情景。。。
他一走进去，就停下来站在那边，一直注视着妈妈的床，妈妈的一些衣物还在床上，他站在那边注视妈妈的床好久好久，然后瘫坐在地上，一直注视着地上，没有哭，没有说话，没有动。。。
然后他静静的叫我也先回家梳洗，他说让他自己安静一下。
After some time had passed, he allowed me to send him home to wash and to later come back to the funeral parlour again to watch the night.
I will never forget that scenario when he walked into that small room he had shared with his mother for 27 years…
As soon as he entered, he just stopped and stood there staring at his mother’s bed, some of her clothings were still on the bed. He stood there staring at the bed for a long time, then he slumped and sat on the floor. There he was staring at the ground for a long time too, not crying, not speaking, not moving…
Then he quietly told me to go home to wash myself too, and said he would like to be alone for a while.
我来回的路上都不断祷告。主啊，只有你能够安慰，只有你能够鼓励。。。
再倒回殡仪馆陪他的时候，他开始能跟我们讲一点点话了。
我很安慰，我们几个人陪他守夜到天亮。。。
那天，我感到很无助，我不知该说什么。
我只能求神的灵来动工，求神的爱来安慰。
我也只能把手放在他肩膀上，让他知道他身边还有上帝，还有我。。。
On my way to and fro, I prayed continually. O Lord, only You can comfort, only You can encourage…
When we came back to the funeral parlour, he could begin to speak a little to us.
I was comforted. A few of us stayed with him till morning…
That day, I felt very helpless, I did not know what to say.
I could only pray for the Spirit of God to come and work, and for the love of God to comfort.
All I could do was to put my hand on his shoulder to let him know God is always there with him, and I will always be there for him too…
