部落格 Blog

Day 25 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (嘿!嘿!嘿!好奇怪哦!/ Hey! Hey! Hey! Something Strange!)

 

 第二十五天:10月27日(四)

今天发生了一件很奇怪的事情。。。
晨祷过后,接到吉隆坡来的电话,让我决定飞过去一趟,明天再飞回来,所以就忙着上网查机位和时间。
正忙碌的时候,我也传简讯向身在温哥华的思秀要一些资料,她马上也把资料传给我。我继续忙着要订机票。。。

突然,看到思秀又一则简讯进来说“哦,阿们!”,我停顿一下想她在“阿们”什么?我刚才说了什么?
在好奇之下,我打开简讯箱去看她“阿们”我讲的什么东西。。。看到她“阿们”的简讯上面一则“我”所传给她的简讯。。。
但是。。。咦?我有传给她这则简讯吗?才两分钟前传的信息,我怎么毫无印象或记忆我有打这一行字?!

我停下工作企图再想一想,我有传这则简讯给她吗?难道我的手指这么快,潜意识里传简讯自己都不察觉?!
这简讯说:“God will bless you beyond your imagination.” (译:神会赐福你超越你所能够想像。)

我就赶忙回复思秀说:“Hey hey hey, something very strange!!!”(嘿嘿嘿,很奇怪的一件事!!!)

我就告诉她怎么我都想不起来我有传那简讯给她,而且只不过是两、三分钟前!她听了非常感动!

总之,不管是不是我在潜意识里传给她,或者“不是我”。。。我都相信是神的作为!能在潜意识里也祝福人的确是很不错的一件事;另,我们能接受耶稣会传简讯吗?对我来说,邪灵所传的简讯我都收过,难道耶稣不能吗?

下午我就飞往吉隆坡,参加晚上的聚会,在敬拜的时候,带领敬拜的姐妹被圣灵感动放声大哭,起初我听得真的还有点不习惯,而且也蛮长的一段时间她这样子。突然间,她停止哭泣,她大声的说了几声“嘿!嘿!嘿!”。。。我马上想起我早上简讯里的“嘿!嘿!嘿!”,感觉是上帝叫回我“嘿!嘿!嘿!”!。。。我有点微笑因觉得好笑。。。

里面一个念头出现:上帝如果要做一些新事,是我们无法想像的,尽管是耶稣传简讯鼓励我们,我们真的能相信和接受吗?
我感觉上帝问我那个问题。。。

“神能照着运行在我们心里的大力,充充足足地成就一切,超过我们所求所想的。”
~ 以弗所书3:20 ~

 

 

Day 25 : Oct 27th (Thur)

Something very strange happened today…
After the morning prayer, I received a call from KL, and I decided to fly over and come back the next morning. So I quickly went online to check the flight situation.
While I was busy doing that, I sent a text message to Esther in Vancouver asking for some information. She sent me the information immediately. I continued with my ticket checking…

Suddenly, another text message of Esther’s came in saying “Oh Amen!”, I paused a while to think as to what she was saying “Amen” to? What did I say just now?
Out of curiosity, I opened the messages box to see what was the thing that I said to cause her to say “Amen” to… Then I saw above her “Amen” message was another message that “I” typed…
But… wait! Did I send her this message? Only about two minutes ago, how come I had no impression or memory at all of sending her this message?!

I stopped work to try to recall, did I send her this message? Are my fingers so fast that I typed this subconsciously without realizing?!
The message says: “God will bless you beyond your imagination.”

I quickly replied her and said: “Hey hey hey, something very strange!!!”

I told Esther I just could not recall ever sending her that message, and it was only sent about two or three minutes ago! She was very touched when she heard!

No matter what, whether it was me sending it subconsciously or “not me”… I believe it is the work of God! To be able to bless people even in your subconscious state is indeed a very good thing; also, can we accept the fact that Jesus knows how to send text messages? As for me, I have received text messages from demons before, so why can’t Jesus send text messages?

I flew to KL in the afternoon, joined the evening meeting. During the worship, the worship leader was filled with the Holy Spirit and crying loudly, I was kind of not very comfortable at first, and it went on for quite a while. Suddenly she stopped crying, and she said loudly a few times “Hey! Hey! Hey!”… I was immediately reminded of my text message in the morning saying “Hey hey hey”, and I felt like God was answering me back with “Hey! Hey! Hey!”… I felt kind of funny and smiled…

Then a thought appeared inside: If God were to do something new that is beyond our imagination, even if it is Jesus sending a text message to encourage us, can we really believe and accept that?
I felt God was asking me that…

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
~ Ephesians 3:20 ~

Day 24 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (行善不丧志 / Not Grow Tired Of Doing Right)

 

第二十四天:10月26日(三)

昨晚的梦又有点奇特。。。一般上,晚上睡觉做梦,若半途醒来,再睡下去梦境就会不一样。昨晚我一入眠,如往常一样又开始做梦了;可是不知怎的,昨晚睡得不是很好,陆陆续续醒来至少五、六次!奇怪的是,每一次再倒回去睡,又开始进入同样或类似的梦境!虽然未必一模一样的情景或人物,但梦的主题都一样。
在梦里,我都是在不断的计划如何帮助及祝福到更多人。。。

这仿佛是上帝在鼓励我说:

“弟兄们,你们行善不可丧志。”
~ 帖后3:13 ~

因为昨天我又再想,若要真正帮助到很多人,真的是很多东西要做、想、预备、计划等等,而时间又很有限,人的体力也有限,难免也会有无力感。
况且,这一次的禁食祷告,上帝又不断给我感动、指示、带领、看见人的需要。。。所以昨天我在想,我能做得了多少?
晚上就一连续做了继续帮助人的梦!

其实,这情形已经是这一次禁食祷告中的第二次,上个礼拜我也感觉有点累时,我的外地朋友也莫名其妙做了一个鼓励我继续帮助人的梦!

是的,主啊,我愿意顺服,但求你也加添力量、智慧、和资源,也求袮带来愿意及真能够协助的人一起来搭配,谢谢!

 

Day 24 : Oct 26th (Wed)

Last night’s dreams were kind of special… Normally, when I dream at night, if awakened half way, the next dream would be different when I fall asleep again. Immediately after I had fallen asleep last night, as usual I started dreaming. Strangely I did not sleep well last night, I woke up at least five or six times in between! But the strange thing was, each time when I went back to sleep, I would re-enter into the same or similar dream! Though it might not be exactly the same scenario or people that appeared, the theme of the dreams was all the same.
In all the dreams, I was doing the same thing as in planning unceasingly to help and bless more people…

This is just as though God is encouraging and telling me:

“And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right.”
~ 2 Thessalonians 3:13 ~

Because yesterday I was thinking once again, if I were to seriously and truly help many people, then there would be many things to do, think, prepare, plan etc, and my time is so limited, physical strength is limited as well, so inevitably I felt kind of helpless.
Furthermore, during our fasting and praying this time, God continually prompts me, directs, leads and shows me the needs of people… That is why I was thinking yesterday, how much can I do?
And immediately I had dreams of continuing to help needy people last night!

In fact, this situation is the second during this fasting season, last week when I was also kind of feeling tired, my foreign friend also unexpectedly had a dream that encouraged me to continue helping others!

Yes, O Lord! I am willing to obey, but please increase my strength, wisdom, and resources, and also do bring along co-workers who are willing and able to help, thanks!

Day 23 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (好树结好果 / Good Tree Bears Good Fruit)

第二十三天:10月25日(二)

几天跟朴传道的搭配服事,看到多少人得释放、医治等等,真让我感到鼓励和欣慰。再一次,我看到上帝的真实。。。
最重要的还不是当时的神迹奇事,而是多数人过后生命的改变与成长。

我相信蒙福教会之所以灵里洁净、顺服、谦卑和同心,多多少少都跟朴传道的服事有一些关 联;因为自我做牧师第一年开始,朴传道就开始来我们教会服事。她真的在邪灵问题,和砍断咒诅和捆绑方面帮了我许多忙!然而,朴传道独特的服事方式,会让很多老掉牙的基督徒,或头脑充满圣经知识的人批判和排斥;但我看到其服事 的长远果子和人生命的更新与改变,所以我很确定那是神给她的特别恩赐,让灵里单纯与会分辨的人蒙福。我也很确定那些不能接受她独特服事方式的,也一定不能接受耶稣的很多服事方式。

我为蒙福教会的谦卑、受教、顺服和同心感恩,因为这样,我们不断看到神的作为,灵命和信心也持续成长。
我的原则和准则始终是耶稣在马太福音里说的:

“这 样 , 凡 好 树 都 结 好 果 子 , 惟 独 坏 树 结 坏 果 子 。好 树 不 能 结 坏 果 子 , 坏 树 不 能 结 好 果 子 。。。所 以 凭 着 他 们 的 果 子 , 就 可 以 认 出 他 们 来 。”
~ 马太福音7:17,18,20 ~

 

Day 23 : Oct 25th (Tue)

These few days of ministering with Pastor Park, I saw many set free, healed etc, and that really encouraged and comforted me. Once again I saw how real and powerful our God is…
The most important thing is not so much the miracles at that moment, but the change and improvement of many people’s lives after that.

I believe the fact that that Blessed Church people are clean in their spirit, obedient, humble and united, is more or less connected to Pastor Park’s ministry to some extent. Because since the first year I became a pastor, Pastor Park also started coming to our church to minister. She really helps me so much in dealing with demonic problems as well as breaking curses and bondages!
However Pastor Park’s uniqie way of ministering will certainly arouse criticisms and disapprovals from “old and ancient” Christians or people who are filled with Biblical knowledge in their heads. But I saw the long lasting fruit of her ministry and the renewal and transformation of people’s lives. So, I am very certain that is a special gifting God has given her to bless those who are pure in spirit and able to discern correctly. I am also very sure people who cannot accept her unique ministry will not be able to accept many of Jesus’ ministering styles too.

I give thanks for the humility, teachability, obedience and unity of Blessed Church, because through that, we are able to see God’s work continually, and therefore our spiritual lives and faith continue to grow. My principles and standard are always what Jesus said in Matthew:

“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit… 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”
~ Matthew 7:17, 18, 20 ~

Day 22 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (神拣选的人 / People God chooses)

 

第二十二天:10月24日(一)
今天带了朴传道到我们新堂地点祷告,她跟孙传道惊叹于上帝赐给我们的土地如此美好及不可思议。
她回想说十六年前她本都没计划来我们教会,后来也不是很甘心来那么小又默默无闻,只有屈屈几十人的教会,但还是顺服圣灵感动来了。

朴、孙两传道对我的第一个印象是瘦骨如柴,弱不禁风,因为那时也恰逢我个人进行21天禁食。她们说看着我帮她们提行李的背影,我见犹怜,心里想这个瘦弱年轻人怎样牧养教会啊?

后来为我祷告时,朴传道说看到一个让她很讶异的异象,就是我们的教会将成长如一棵大树开满极大又漂亮的白色花朵,后又结满果子,树干、枝子向天空延伸,叶子茂盛,各样有需要的人都憩息在树荫下。。。
看到这异象,两个传道再看看我的模样,感觉很难相信所看到的异象。。。

十六年后,她们相信那异象已正在开始成就中;只要忠心在神面前,没有什么是不可能的。

我由衷感谢主的恩待与保守,我如此不配,他却信实看顾、赐福到如今!
所以鼓励大家,不要轻看自己或现况如何,专心仰赖、信靠、亲近主,他必使你成大器!

这让我回想起,我开始做传道时,上帝给我的经文:

“神却拣选了世上愚拙的,叫有智慧的羞愧;又拣选了世上软弱的,叫那强壮的羞愧。”
~ 哥林多前书1:27 ~

建堂工程进行中。。。
Church-building in progress…

 

Day 22 : Oct 24th (Mon)

Today we brought Pastor Park to our new church site to pray, both her and Pastor Sun were in awe of such wonderful and unimaginable piece of land God has given us.
She recalled sixteen years ago she did not even plan to come to our church, and later she reluctantly came to this small and unknown church with only a few, less than a hundred members, but she obeyed the Holy Spirit to come.

The first impression of both pastors toward me was skinny as a stick and seemed so weak to be easily blown away by the wind. That was due to the fact that I was on a full 21-day fast at that time. They said I looked so pitiful as they looked at me from behind, carrying their luggage, and they thought to themselves as to how this skinny young man could ever pastor a church?

But later while praying for me, Pastor Park said she saw a vision that amazed her, that is our church is going to grow like a big tree blossoming with very big and beautiful white flowers, and will later bear much fruit. The trunk and branches are big and strong stretching to the sky, with lush leaves and many people with all kinds of needs resting beneath the shade of the tree…
Seeing this vision, both pastors took a look at me again, they found it hard to believe the vision…

Sixteen years later, they believe that vision is now in the process of accomplishing; as long as we remain faithful before the Lord, nothing is impossible.

I am whole-heartedly grateful to the gracious protection of the Lord, I am so unworthy and yet He is so faithful in caring and blessing till this day!
So, I want to encourage you all not to look down on yourselves or how your situation is at the moment, trust and fix your eyes on the Lord faithfully, draw near to Him always, He will surely raise you to become a mighty vessel!

This reminds me of the verse God gave me when I started pastoring:

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.”
~ 1 Corinthians 1:27 ~

Day 21 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (解开捆绑 / Breaking Bondages)

第二十一天:10月23日(日)

今晚讲完第二堂道就上去看朴传道服事的情况,因为主日要讲两堂道,所以今天没有办法帮忙。。。
同工告诉我今天的服事非常特别,很多人身上的鬼都被赶走,而且有一些是蛮大只的鬼!
马上耶稣的话就进入我脑中:

“况且这女人本是亚伯拉罕的后裔,被撒但捆绑了这十八年,不当在安息日解开她的绑吗?”
~ 路加福音13:16~

“又对他们说:人子是安息日的主。”
~路加福音6:5~

可见特别献上给主的一天,一起聚集、敬拜赞美主、领受神的道和赐福等等,的确是神的美意,有特别恩膏和赐福。。。所以我们无论如何都不要错失机会,主日一定都要来聚会。

另外,神感动我的是,那些这几天那么摆上时间,又禁食又配合服事的人有福了,因为神所拣选的禁食就是:

“我所拣选的禁食,不是要松开凶恶的绳,解下轭上的索,使被欺压的得自由,折断一切的轭吗?”
~以赛亚书58:6~

Day 21 : Oct 23rd (Sun)
After preaching in the second service tonight, I went up to have a look at Pastor Park’s ministering situation, I was not helping today because I had to preach in two services…
The helpers told me today’s ministry is very special, many demons were cast out from people, and some are big demons!
Immediately the words of Jesus entered my mind:
“Then should not this woman, a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has kept bound for eighteen long years, be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her?”
~ Luke 13:16 ~
“Then Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.””
~ Luke 6:5 ~
From this we can see, to specially offer up a day to the Lord to meet together, praise and worship Him, to receive God’s Word and blessings etc, is really God’s wonderful will with special anointing and blessings…
So, no matter what we must not miss this opportunity, we must not miss the Sunday service.
Another thing that God convicted me is, those who sacrifice their time these few days, fasting and serving together, will be very blessed, because the kind of fasting God has chosen is:
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
~ Isaiah 58:6 ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 20 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (真正的食物 / Real Food)

 

第二十天:10月22日(六)

与韩国朴传道一起服事,回到家已凌晨1:30,2:30am上床睡觉,6:00am不知何故就醒来了!本想继续睡,可是脑子里充满很多当做的事情。。。主日讲章还没写、禁食日记已拖延两天没上载、待会与朴传道的服事等等。。。
结果我放弃了,起来洗澡“开工”,向神求力量、智慧和启示,好叫我能在短时间内,成就几件事情,而且不马虎。

神听了我的祷告!马上有感动晓得要讲什么道,一口气就写完了;然后,也把禁食祷告的感动写完,刊登上去了;一切准备就绪,又到教会与朴传道配搭服事了!
奇妙的是,一点也不觉得累;而且一般上这样赶时间,我都会有一点偏头痛,可是这次头也不会痛!神真是美好!

当然我知道我不是救主,不是每一件事都一定要我做;但有时候,有一些事的确是无法避免。。。那时,我们真的是要求神赐力量和智慧了:“你们中间若有缺少智慧的,应当求那厚赐与众人、也不斥责人的神,主就必赐给他。”(雅各书1:5)

我也在想,耶稣的这一句话是不是也有这个意思:

“耶稣说:“我有食物吃,是你们不知道的。。。我的食物就是遵行差我来者的旨意,做成他的工。””(约翰福音4:32, 34)

Day 20 : Oct 22nd (Sat)
I reached home at about 1:30am after ministering with Pastor Park from Korea, went to bed at 2:30am, and for some unknown reason woke up at 6:00am! I tried to go back to sleep but my mind was full of the things that need to be done… I haven’t written my Sunday sermon, I have delayed posting the Fasting Diary by two days, some more ministering with Pastor Park later etc…
So I gave up, I got up to have my shower and “start working”, praying for strength, wisdom and revelation from God so I can within a short time accomplish a few things, and not haphazardly.
God heard my prayer! Immediately I knew what to preach, and finished writing the sermon within a few minutes; then I finished writing and posted the fasting diary; and got everything ready and went to church to minister with Pastor Park again!
The amazing thing is, I did not feel tired at all; and normally if I rushed like this, I would have migraine, but this time I did not have any headache at all! God is really wonderful!
Of course I know I am not the Saviour and I do not have to do everything myself; but sometimes there are really things that are unavoidable… When that happens, we really must ask for strength and wisdom form God: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)
I am also thinking, do the following words of Jesus carry this meaning as well:
“But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about… My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.”” (John 4:32, 34)

 


 

Day 19 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary

 

 


第十九天:10月21日(五)

今天又发现上帝真的是很恩待我,“又”,因为一路来都感觉他超恩待这不配的我。。。
今天我看到以前我无法想象的事情,或者说我以前不知几时才会看到今天看见的那种情况。
我心深感安慰和鼓励。

事情是这样的,不知不觉韩国朴传道的服事开始了,因为我都在忙其它事情,此次服事事务都交予同工处理;我突然惊觉,糟了!服事就要开始,我还没跟同工确定服事的各样安排!
以前从排名到场面摆设、服事人员各岗位、交待及教导服事的范围和责任等等,一律都要我亲自出马。。。
朴传道的服事性质特别,再加上文化不一样,我以前都不容有失,所以要监督每一部份!

当我突然觉悟我都还没监督一切和确定安排是否妥当时,我急忙往要使用的小礼堂观望,心里马上无比安慰;每份工作我的同工都已弄妥和分配的井井有条、清清楚楚!
我顿时想起早上读经时注意到的经文:

“西门彼得问耶稣说,主往哪里去? 耶稣回答说,我所去的地方,你现在不能跟我去。后来却要跟我去。”
~约翰福音13:36~

虽然耶稣讲的是关于彼得当时生命和信心未能达到为主殉道,后来却能为主殉道,但我也领悟到,以前很多事情都要交待同工,他们才懂怎么做,或做的合乎要求。。。
然而今天,在我丝毫没有交待和监督之下,他们已把工作安排的十分妥当!真的是以前所做不到的,如今却能做得那么好!我心充满感恩。。。

我们每个人都充满潜能,只要我们继续在主里和依靠他,我们绝对能不断进步和出众!

 

Day 19 : Oct 21st (Fri)

Today I once again realized God is very gracious to me, “once again”, because all along I have been feeling He is very gracious such an undeserving me…
Today I saw something I could not imagine before, or should I say I did not know back then when I would be able to see what I saw today.
My heart was greatly comforted and encouraged.

The story goes, without realizing Pastor Park’s ministry began. Because I was busy with many other things, the detailed duties this time I handed to my staffs to handle. I suddenly realized with a shock, oh dear! The ministry is going to start in a while, I haven’t even acertain with my staffs all the arrangement of the workload this time!
Before, I had to take care of and supervise everything like arranging of names of people to be prayed for, duties of every helper, teaching and briefing them on their work boundaries and responsibilities etc…
As Pastor Park’s ministry is unique, coupled with the issue of cultural differences, I would not risk any error, so I must supervise every area!

When I suddenly realized I had not even double-check everything to make sure everything is in order, I quickly took a peep at the small hall we are to use for the ministry, immediately my heart was indescribably comforted, my staffs had already prepared and divided all the workload to my utter satisfaction!
I was immediately reminded of the verse I noticed while reading the Bible this morning:

“Simon Peter asked him, “Lord, where are you going?”
Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.””
~ John 13:36 ~

Even though Jesus was referring to Peter’s faith and spiritual life not up to the level of being martyred for Him at that time but later did actually die for Christ, I also recalled, in the past I had to brief my staffs on many things, and only then they knew what to do, or how to do things satisfactorily… However, today without any of my instruction and supervision, they have already prepared everything properly and nicely! Really, something they were unable to do before, but today they did it so superbly! My heart is full of gratitude…

All of us are really full of potential, as long as we remain in and rely on the Lord, we can really improve and excel!


Day 18 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary

 

第十八天:10月20日(四)

今天,神再次提醒我何谓“新事”:

“看哪!我要做一件新事,如今要发现,你们岂不知道吗?我必在旷野开道路,在沙漠开江河。”
~以赛亚书43:19~

这些年来,我们常在祷告会或聚会时信心满满宣告神会赐福我们超过所求所想,然后情绪高昂喊“阿们!”,很开心满足的回家去。
可是,日复一日、年复一年,一切如常。。。
结果很多人困惑埋心中,有一些依然所谓的“单纯”或“盲目”相信,有一些就干脆信心软弱,不再相信。。。

可是,我每次有感动带领人这样子宣告和祷告时,我的确是很确定会发生,而且知道那感动是来自神,不是搞气氛或煽动情绪!所以,我也很期待看到那些应许成就在大家身上,尤其是那些很需要在生活和经济上突破的人。。。

有时候,我也会问神,你所讲的超过所求所想的事到底是什么啊?几时会来到?

所以,神今天就提醒我几年前听过一位牧师讲的道,他讲了一句话让我印象深刻,我也在教会分享过,即:
“一直反复做同样一件事情,却期待看到不同的效果,是疯狂的!”

很多人期待经济大突破,可是还是一贯做同样的工作、职位或者什么的,当然那不会有改变啊!那也不是什么“新事”!
当然我们也不能说,因此每个人应当换工作或事业,或换个生意做等等,因为只有少数的人能这样做,而且也不完全实际!
那该怎么办呢?

这就是神的启示:
我相信心态得神喜悦的,时候一到,神若不是带领他们到新的领域或机会,就是留在原位有其它不会骚扰到他们份内工作的,从外面来的祝福来到。
就以我自己为例,突然在某处可能我的专辑莫名其妙被注意,而开始触摸到更多人,出版数量增加;或教会收到自己教会以外意想不到的奉献等等。。。

所以,我们灵里一定要敏锐,要会洞察神的机会来到。。。

 

Day 18 : Oct 20th (Thur)

Today, God reminded me again what a “new thing” means:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
~ Isaiah 43:19~

All these years, we often declared with much faith, in the prayer meetings or other meetings that God would bless us beyond what we asked for or imagined, then with highly charged emotion shouted “Amen!”, and went home with much gladness and satisfaction.
But then, day after day, year after year, everything remains the same…
As a result, many people keep their perplexity in their hearts, some continue to believe “innocently” or “blindly”, what is worse, some are stumbled and become weak in their faith and no longer believe…

But, each time when I felt led to lead people with such declaration and prayer, I was very certain it would happen, and knew that prompting was from God, I was not trying to stir up the atmosphere or people’s emotions! So, I was also very expectant to see those promises accomplished on everyone, especially those who desperately needed a breakthrough in their living or finances…

Sometimes I would ask God, what are the things that You referred to that are “beyond what we can asked for or imagined”? When will they arrive?

Therefore, today God reminded me on something I heard from a pastor a few years’ back, he said something that left a deep impression in my heart, I had shared this in church before as well, that is:
“It is insanity to keep repeating the same thing and expecting a different result!”

Many people expect a breakthrough in their finances but they are still doing exactly the same job, in the same position etc, then of course nothing will change!And that is also NOT a “new thing”!
But of course we cannot say everyone must therefore change to a new job or career, start a new business etc because only the minority are able to do that, and it is not entirely practical to do so too!
Then how?

This is God’s revelation:
I believe people with God-pleasing attitudes, when the time comes, either God will lead them into a new territory or opportunity, or they will remain at the same place and without affecting their responsibility and commitment to their job, extra blessings come to them from outside!
To use myself as an example, perhaps suddenly somewhere my albums are being noticed and begin to touch more lives, so publication increases; or our church receives donations and offerings suddenly from outside unexpected sources etc…

Therefore, we must be sensitive in our spirit to discern the coming of God’s opportunities…

Day 17 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary

 

第十七天1019(三)

在这段禁食时间,其实都有安排不同的同工或领袖带领每天的祷告会;可是从第一天开始,几乎每一次我都有感动自己带领。。。
感谢主,每一次带得很轻松、很享受,上帝也不断引领启示;神一定给我们知道当天要祷告的事项,和当天要我们学习的真理和属灵功课。事实是,每一天上帝所启示的不止我“禁食日记”里写的那么少或短,只是时间有限,所以我只将部份或重点记载在这里与大家分享。

今天中午神也说了很多话,但我要分享的是晚上的:

“愿我的祷告如香陈列在你面前;愿我举手祈求,如献晚祭。
耶和华啊,求你禁止我的口,把守我的嘴。
求你不叫我的心偏向邪恶,以致我和作孽的人同行恶事;也不叫我吃他们的美食。”
~ 诗篇141:2-4~
第一节的第一个字“愿”告诉我们事实未必是如此,它是一个心愿,既是说,我们的祷告搞不好在神面前不是香,而是臭气!
若内心不干净,存有妒忌、怨恨、苦毒、批判、论断等等恶劣态度,那发出去的肯定是臭气;若嘴巴不圣洁,又赞美神,又咒诅、论断、讲人是非或污秽话语等,那发出去的也将是臭气。。。若生命虚假、假属灵、只做给人看,要讨人喜欢等等,发出去的也是臭气。。。
因此神说,不要以为表面上很会赞美敬拜和祷告,禁食、服事等等都很摆上。。。献上的祷告未必是香气!若是臭气,神根本就不会靠近。。。

Day 17 : Oct 19th (Wed)

During this fasting period, I actually did schedule different leaders to lead the daily prayer meeting; but since the first day, I felt led to lead almost every time…
Thank God each time I could lead with much ease, I really enjoyed it, and God kept on leading and giving revelations. God would certainly reveal to us the prayer points that day and the spiritual truth and lessons He wanted us to learn that day. In fact, what God revealed each day is not that short or little as you have read in my “Fasting Diary”, but because time is limited, I can only record parts or the main points here to share with you.
This afternoon God said a lot of things too, but I want to share the revelation from the night prayer:
“May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.
Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.”
~ Psalm 141: 2-4 ~
The first word of the first verse “May” tells us that the fact may not be so, it is a wish or desire, meaning our prayer may not be like incense or sweet-smelling before God, but a foul smell instead!
If our heart is unclean, harbouring all sorts of bad attitudes like jealousy, hatred, bitterness, judgments on others etc, then it will give out foul smell; if our mouth is not holy, we praise God and curse others, judge, gossip and speak filthy words, then foul smell will come out too… If your life is fake with false spirituality, only acting to show people or to please people etc, then it will smell bad too…

Therefore, God said: Do not think that just because outwardly you seem very good at praising, worshipping and praying, very sacrificial in fasting and serving… the prayer you offer up may not be incense! And if it is a foul smell, God will not even come close…

 

Day 16 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary

 

 

第十六天1018(二)

这几天心里很兴奋,神让我看到禁食的原因和效果,而且进而施恩给我能够成就我意想不到的事情!
短短的几天,上帝给我属天智慧和感动去很实际,又长远的帮助到一些真正有需要的人,尤其是忠心在神面前服事但家里又困苦的人。

早上心里充满这份喜悦和感动,准备去上班,在门口穿鞋子时,突然听见一声:牧师,早安!
看上去,原来是我们住宅区的园丁,一位马来同胞,他专门负责清理垃圾啦、修理园子啦,这一类杂工;工作虽辛苦,他却是很友善,常常都会跟我打招呼。
今天他像往常在清理垃圾,刚好碰到我在门口。

他突然指向我停车处一个摆放了一个多月的坏了的汽车电池,他说:这个你还要吗?

我心里马上有点生气,生气把电池放在那边的一位青年人陈彬,迟迟不拿走或丢掉!我已经警告过他,说我不喜欢丑化我的家,所以不要放垃圾在我门口!

陈彬寄住在我家,一个多月前汽车电池坏了,换了新的就把这坏的放在门口。
两个星期前我已跟他说:我警告你,你如果再不处理掉这电池,下一次我不是提醒你,我是会用咆哮大喊的!(因为我觉得放一个烂电池在家门口实在很破坏美感。)

我当然也问他干嘛不要就马上丢掉,他说他要拿回家给他爸爸拿去卖掉什么的,我还说:卖掉?这东西能值多少钱?天啊!
他就赶忙道歉说他会马上处理掉。。。他的“马上”竟然是两个礼拜后电池还在!你说我气不气?

所以,当这马来园丁指向这烂电池的时候,我的无名火已经慢慢升起了。。。
我心里想一定是我被人投诉了,因为我们住宅区很注重美感、秩序、保安等等。
我心里想待会陈彬回家时他就有好看!

可是园丁接下来却说:若不要了,可以给我吗?
我:啊?这是我家那个小孩的,我得问他一下。。。但你要来做什么?
园丁:我可以把它重新充电,然后用来点亮家里某些灯泡。
我:你家里没电源吗?你住在什么地方?

他就告诉我他住在某个村庄,那边的电源供应不理想,时常没电。

我:可是这个是坏了的。
园丁:不久前隔壁家给我一个更烂的,都足以供应我三个月的电源。。。

我听了心里很难过,原来他家境那么贫穷,马上说:你拿去吧!
园丁:但你还没问那小孩,他生气怎么办?
我:我没骂他已经很客气了,他还敢生气?

但我心生发怜悯问说:你要不要一台新的?
他很讶异回答:哇,如果是新的就能照亮整个屋子了!但不用了,这一个已经够好了!
我:真的吗?我不介意帮你。
园丁:真的,真的!不用了。。。谢谢你,牧师!
我:那好吧,下一次你家里或生活有什么需要就告诉我吧,我尽量帮助你。

园丁很感恩和开心的拿着坏了的电池走了。。。
我看着他的背影,心里想:神啊,怎么这几天一直有意和无意中帮到一些很有需要的人?怎么接二连三都有这个机会和智慧?
神说:你去看看以赛亚58章吧。
我顿时明白了。。。以赛亚58章讲的就是什么是真正的禁食和其效果!

“我所拣选的禁食不是要松开凶恶的绳,解下轭上的索,使被欺压的得自由,折断一切的轭吗﹖
不是要把你的饼分给饥饿的人,将飘流的穷人接到你家中,见赤身的给他衣服遮体,顾恤自己的骨肉而不掩藏吗﹖
这样,你的光就必发现如早晨的光,你所得的医治要速速发明。你的公义必在你前面行;耶和华的荣光必作你的后盾。
那时你求告,耶和华必应允;你呼求,他必说:我在这里。你若从你中间除掉重轭和指摘人的指头,并发恶言的事,
你心若向饥饿的人发怜悯,使困苦的人得满足,你的光就必在黑暗中发现;你的幽暗必变如正午。
耶和华也必时常引导你,在干旱之地使你心满意足,骨头强壮。你必像浇灌的园子,又像水流不绝的泉源。”
~ 以赛亚书58:6-11 ~

 

 

Day 16 : Oct 18th (Tue)

Been feeling very excited past few days for God has been showing me the reasons for fasting and the results. At the same time, He grants me grace to accomplish things I did not expect!
Within just a few days, God gave me wisdom from above and prompting to help some truly needy people in a very practical and lasting way, especially those who serve God faithfully and are financially challenged at home.

My heart was filled with this joy and conviction this morning as I was preparing to go to work. While putting on my shoes, I heard “Good morning, Pastor!”
I looked up, it was our gardender, a Malay man. He is in charge of clearing the rubbish, repairing and maintaining the garden etc. His work is rather tough but he is a friendly man, always greets me when he sees me.
Today, as usual he was clearing the rubbish and saw me outside the door.

Suddenly he pointed at an old car battery left outside my door for more than a month already, and asked: Do you still want this?

Immediately my heart was a little angry, I felt angry at Jonas, the young man who left it there and kept delaying to take or throw it away! I had warned him, I said I do not like to uglify my house, so do not leave rubbish outside my door! Jonas is lodging at my place, a month ago his car battery broke down, he changed it and left the old one there outside my door.
Two weeks ago I told him: I’m warning you, if you don’t get rid of this battery, the next time I will not be reminding you, I’ll be screaming and shouting at you! (Because I feel a spoilt battery placed outside my door is really unsightly.)

And of course I asked him as to hy he did not throw it away immediately. He said he wanted to bring it home to give to his dad to sell or something. I even said: To sell? How much can that thing fetch? My goodness!
He apologized very quickly an said he would get rid of it immediately… and his “immediately” turned out to be – after two weeks the battery was still there! Now you know why I was angry!

So when this Malay gardener pointed at this old battery, unknown fire started rising inside…
I thought someone must have complained as my residential area is very concerned about beauty, proper order, security etc.
And I thought in my heart: You are in big trouble, Jonas Tan!

But the gardener continued: If you do not want it anymore, can I have it?
Me: Huh? But this belongs to that boy in my house, I have to ask him… but what do you want it for?
Gardener: I can recharge it and it can light up some bulbs in my house.
Me: Don’t you have electricity supply at home? Where do you live?

Then he told me he lives in a village and the electricity supply is not good and very often fails.
I said: but this is a spoilt battery.
Gardener: The other house gave me an even worse one not long ago and it supplied some three months of power supply to me…

I felt rather sad to think that he is actually so poor, so I said immediately: Just take this!
Gardener: But you haven’t asked the boy, will he be angry?
Me: He wouldn’t dare to, I should be the one scolding him!

My heart was filled with compassion, I said: Do you want a new one?
He was very surprised and replied: Wow! A new one can lit up the whole house! But no thanks, this is sufficient!
Me: You sure? I don’t mind helping you.
Gardener: It’s true, yes, this is good enough… thank you, Pastor!
Me: Oh ok, but in future if you or your family need anything or encounter any difficulty in living, do tell me, I’ll try my best to help.

The gardener was full of gratitude and left happily with that spoilt battery…
Watching him walking away, I thought in my heart: God, how come these few days I seem to be consciously or unconsciously helping quite a few needy people? How come the opportunities and wisdom keep coming to me?
God said: Go read Isaiah 58.
Immediately I understood… Isaiah 58 talks about what a true fast is and the results of such a fast…

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness[a] will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.”
~ Isaiah 58: 6-11 ~