April 1, 2014

人的品味就是很奇怪，有些东西你很喜欢，别人就不喜欢；有些你不喜欢，别人偏偏又很喜欢。这些可以是服装、音乐、图画、食物。。。什么都可以！我想这样也好，很公平，就是说每样东西都有人欣赏。

People’s tastes are just so strange, certain things you may like so much but others just do not, and there are things that you just do not like while others do. It can be fashion, music, art, food… or just anything! Guess this is good for in this way everything can find someone who admires it.

其实，对自己，我们也有我们喜欢的某部分或某方面，也有我们很不喜欢的部分，所以才会感觉有时候很喜欢自己，有时候也会很讨厌自己！人就是这样矛盾，这样复杂和这样麻烦。

In fact, with regard ourselves, there are areas that we like and parts that we do not like about ourselves too. That is why sometimes we seem to love ourselves a lot and at times we seem to hate ourselves! Such is the irony of a human being, very complicated and troublesome.

就比如我本身，拍了很多照片，有些是同地点和时间拍的，但就有一些我超喜欢，和一些我都不想再看一次的。这里放的一些照片就我很喜欢的，那一次旅行拍的也不见得我全部都喜欢。原因到底是什么？服装？姿势？角度？摄影技术，还是什么？

For example myself, I have taken so many photos, some were taken at the same place and time and yet there would be some that I really like and some that I do not even want to have a second look. The photos in this post are those that I really like, but there are also those taken during the same trip which I do not like at all. What is the reason? The clothes I wore? The pose? The angle? Photographing skill? Or what?

总之，事实是，我们之所以会喜欢自己的一些照片也只有一个原因，就是觉得自己在照片里拍得很好看或顺眼；有时别人不认为我们也不管，自己喜欢就好，哈哈！其实会欣赏自己总好过看不起自己，你说是吧？

All things said, the truth is, there is only one reason why we like some of our own photos, that is we think we look really nice or pleasant in those photos. Sometimes we would not even care if others think the same, as long as we like them ourselves, haha! Actually, to be able to admire ourselves is any time better than despising ourselves, do you not think so?

有些照片很好看或顺眼，不管是由于角度或摄影技术等等，也只说明了一件事，即：从某个角度或眼光来看，我们都会有好看的时候。原来我们都有优点，我们都有价值，都能够被人欣赏。如果人能永远就用那角度或眼光来看我们，就会一直很欣赏和看我们很顺眼，那不知有多好。。。可是事实并不如此，人反而很常用严厉、无情和批判性眼光互相看待，所以世界才会有那么多的冲突与伤害。

Some photographs are very nice or pleasant, whether due to angles or photographing skills, can only reveal one thing, that is: from a certain angle or perspective, we all have moments when we look good. We all actually do have our good points, we all have some values and can be admired by people. If only people can always look at us from that angle or perspective, then they would always admire or see us as pleasant, that would be so good… However, that is not the truth, people instead often use very stringent, cold and critical eyes to view each other, that is why this world is full of conflicts and hurts.

但让我们最安慰的是，天父始终都会用慈爱的眼光看我们，始终看我们都是祂宝贝可爱的孩子。如果我们心里面也有越多天父的爱，我们也会用天父的眼光，如此充满慈爱怜悯的彼此看待了。

But the most comforting is, our Heavenly Father will always look at us with eyes of loving-kindness, we will always be precious and adorable children in His eyes. If our hearts have more of our Father’s love, we would also have the Father’s eyes and would look at each other with loving-kindness and mercy as well.

February 16, 2012

我想一个美丽又成功的生命就是在活着的时候带给人欢乐和鼓励，离开时依然让人心得安慰和欢乐。。。
颜妈妈让我有这个感想，她。。。昨天离开这世界回天家去了。。。

I think a beautiful and successful life is one that gives people joy and encouragement while alive, and similarly continues to bring people comfort and joy when leaving the world…
Aunty Gan gave me this thought, she… left this world to go to heaven yesterday…

 

颜妈妈几个月前被发现癌症末期，她从不惊惶或抱怨，对上帝依然充满感恩，还常鼓励弟兄姐妹要爱主、信靠主。。。辛苦或疼痛时，她就祷告主，疼痛就会消失。若有力气起来或撑得住，她一定跟先生颜爸爸来教会敬拜主，也参加乐龄小组聚会。很鼓励的，去年11月28日的教会家庭欢乐日，他们与大家一样凌晨六点都已到达运动场等候。。。

Few months ago Aunty Gan was found to have contracted final stage cancer but she was never panicky or complaining, she continued to be thankful to God, and always encouraged brothers and sisters to love and trust in God… When she was feeling some discomfort or pain, she would pray and the pain would disappear. If she had the strength to get up or sustain, she would come to church to worship with Uncle Gan, and would join the house group for the elderly too. Something very encouraging, on November 28th last year, they arrived at the sports stadium to wait as early as 6am together with everyone else…

 

其实昨天我本计划好要去探望颜妈妈，可是又开会又赶工什么的，拖延到没时间过去。。。哪知在傍晚时分，就收到她去世的消息！我心痛如刀割，当然也非常自责。。。心里一直怪自己为什么不够敏锐，为什么不能多摆上时间一点。。。开车去她家的时候，心里很是难过。

一抵达她家的时候，她女儿的一番话就已鼓励了我。我告诉她我很内疚今天没来探望，她说不要难过，妈妈一直都告诉她说她知道牧师很爱她。。。多体贴的一位老人家！我那么少探望她，她却没抱怨，说了解我忙，也一直告诉她女儿说她知道牧师很疼爱她。

当我瞻仰她遗容时，她是那么的安详美丽，我知道她是快乐的，我知道她已经到了天堂，我心得了很大安慰。。。
颜妈妈，活着的时候鼓励我，离开时依然鼓励我。。。

上帝啊，谢谢祢在我事奉道路上给我这么好的长辈祝福我。

Actually I planned to visit Aunty Gan yesterday, but I was caught up by meeting and work, and was delayed till I did not have time to go over… Then at evening time I received news that she had passed away! I felt my heart pierced like a knife and of course felt very remorseful… I kept blaming myself inside as to why I was not sensitive enough, why could I not offer up more of my time…. I was feeling very sad as I was driving to her house.

Upon reaching her house, her daughter’s words encouraged me immediately. I told her I regretted not coming to visit today, she asked me not to feel bad as her mother had been telling her that she knew the pastor loves her a lot… Such an considerate elder! I very seldom visited her and yet she did not complain and she said she understood I was busy, and kept telling her daughter she knew that the pastor loves her dearly…

When I looked at her face, she was so at peace and beautiful, I know she is happy, I know she is now in heaven, my heart is greatly comforted…
Aunty Gan, encouraged me when she was alive and encouraged me still when she left…

O God, thank You for giving me such a kind elder to bless me in this journey of serving You.

感谢主让我在上个月大年初一有机会拜访颜妈妈，与和她一起合照。。。
下面的是颜爸爸，他也是一个极其谦卑、忠心和非常鼓励我的长辈。。。

Thank God for giving me the opportunity to visit Aunty Gan and had a photograph taken with her on the first day of Chinese New Year last month…
Below is Uncle Gan, who is also a very humble, faithful and encouraging elder to me…

October 4, 2011

 

写了一篇“昨夜又梦见了你”，导致好一些人很好奇这个“你”到底是谁。。。
好奇还没关系，只要不要自以为那个“你”是自己就好了，哈哈！
今天就来给你揭开这个谜。。。

Wrote the article “I dreamt of you again last night” and caused some to be very curious who that “you” is…
It is still alright to be curious as long as you do not start thinking that “you” is yourself, haha!
Today, I shall reveal the answer to you…

 

其实有一些人还挺厉害的，一猜就中！大概是看习惯了我写作的模式而开始抓得到我的思路吧。。。？
看来我需要寻找别的方式来吊人胃口了。。。

嗯。。。我所讲的“你”其实就是我童年长大的老家！

Actually some people are quite sharp, they guessed right immediately! Perhaps they are by now used to my style of writing, so can kind of capture my trend of thought…?
Looks like I have to seek for new methods to keep people in suspense now…

Hmm… the “you” I was referring to is really my childhood home which I grew up in!

 

虽然十三岁我就离开父母及老家，出来古晋求学，可是每当午夜梦回时，我梦见的依然是我这童年简陋的老木屋。。。
很多童年情景还会出现在梦里，爸爸还健在，妈妈还年轻。。。醒来时，总有一丝丝伤感。。。

Though I left my parents and my old home when I was thirteen to come out to study in Kuching, each time if I dreamt of my past, it would always be my childhood’s old wooden house…
Scenes of my childhood would reappear, dad still around, mum still young… and when I wake up, there is always this tinge of sadness…

 

我们家境比较贫穷，下雨天屋顶会漏水，家中没有厕所。。。
下面那一张就是我们的客厅，是华人新年装饰的最漂亮的时候；照片中的我是1998年从纽西兰回来过年的时候拍的。。。

We were quite poor, the roof would leak when it rained, and there was no toilet in the house…
The photo below shows our lounge in its best, decorated for Chinese New Year. That was me in 1998 coming home for Chinese New Year from New Zealand…

 

我纽西兰好友Jamie跟我一起回来过年，二哥背后的小门通往厨房和饭厅（看下图）。。。
我背后的墙就是我们一群孩子共用的房间，我很想念，很想念这个家。。。写着这文章时，眼角也有泪水。。。

My New Zealand good friend, Jamie came celebrate Chinese new Year with me, the door behind my 2nd brother leads to the kitchen and dining (see below)…
The wall behind me is the room that all of us, the kids shared. I really, really miss this house… even as I write this, there are tears in the corner of my eyes…

 

我大哥两个女儿，美清和美声。。。
看吧，我们连像样的窗都没有，我就是在这饭桌吃饭长大。。。有些人还以为我是富贵公子出身！
我非常遗憾没有拍到更多老家的照片。。。

My eldest brother’s daughters, Flora and Melody…
See, we did not even have proper windows, and that was the dining table where I had my meals and grew up with… and some people thought I came from a rich background!
I really regret not taking more pictures of my old house…

 

 

婴孩是大哥小儿子。
你隐约可看到厨房的屋顶，右边是爸妈的小房间，我们家就只两个房间。
看了照片，你大概就会体会我所写的这句：
“虽然表面上你并不美丽
却留给我许多美丽的回忆
没有你也不会有今天的自己”

The baby is my eldest brother’s youngest son.
You can vaguely see the kitchen roof here, to the right is my parents’ room, there were only two rooms in my house.
After seeing these pictures, you can perhaps appreciate my writing this:
“Though you do not possess outward beauty
You leave with me such beautiful memories
Without you I will not be who I am today”

 

 

多少梦里，我依然在这小路奔跑
多少夜里，这条小路引我回家。。。
后面被树叶遮盖的是我家的屋顶。

In so many dreams, I was still running on this small road
And in so many nights, this small road led me home…
You can see the roof of my house hidden among the trees.

 

我爱我的家，因为在这家里我找到爱。。。
它让我明白有爱可以不计较环境
它让我体会有爱就会有最美的回忆

I love my house because I found love there…
It taught me that with love the environment is not an issue
It made me realize where there is love, there will always be beautiful memories