Tag Archive - 回忆往事,感人故事,盼望,上帝的怜悯

那天,我不知该说什么。。。 That day, I did not know what to say…

我还在睡觉,我的电话响起,本不想接,因为我在雅加达,长途电话很贵。。。可是电话声没停止,我接了。
是田圣表哥,我以为他要谈油漆的事情,可是不是。
他说联络不上在台湾的田圣,问我有办法吗。。。然后他突然哭出来说,田圣他妈妈今早突然去世了!
我如梦初醒,一时无法回神,呆了一下,不知如何回应。。。

他托我联络及告诉田圣。
我脑子里一片凌乱,被各样念头充斥着:懊恼、沮丧、自责、后悔、伤痛、困惑。。。
神啊!我该如何跟田圣报告这消息?他也只不过回到台湾两天而已。。。这就发生了!

联络上了,我告诉他家里有事,你要马上订飞机票回来。他说发生什么事?谁出事情?我一时不知如何回答。。。
他继续问说是妈妈吗?我说是。
他说妈妈怎样了?我鼓起勇气轻轻的说,妈妈走了。。。
他反应说:真的吗?然后就变得很安静、很安静。。。
我还能说什么?我还能做什么?心里不断呼求主来安慰、来掌管。。。

I was still sleeping, my phone rang, I did not want to answer because I was still in Jakarta, long distance calls are expensive…. but it did not stop so I answered.
It was Daniel’s cousin, I thought he wanted to talk about the paint but no.
He said he could not manage to get Daniel who was in Taiwan and asked for my help… Then suddenly he burst out crying and said Daniel’s mother had just passed away suddenly that morning!
I was like rudely awakened from my dream and shocked, my mind could not compute and I was stunned! I did not know how to respond…

He asked for my help to contact and inform Daniel.
My mind was still confused and mixed with all kinds of thoughts: perplexity, sadness, self-blame, regret, pain, confusion…
O God, how am I going to tell Daniel? He had only returned to Taiwan barely two days ago… and now this happened!

I got in touch with him. I told him something happened at home and asked him to book the air ticket to fly home immediately. He asked me as to what happened and who? I did not know how to answer…
He continued asking: is it mother? I said yes.
He asked what happened to mother? I gathered up my courage and said softly, mum has left…
He responded with: Is it true? And immediately became very quiet, very quiet…
What else could I say? What else could I do? I just kept crying out to the Lord in my heart to comfort and take charge…

我叫祖听电话,我们开始一切联络,安排机票等等。
虽然田圣说他可以自己飞回来,我还是要祖陪他回来;刚好我也那天由吉隆坡转机回古晋,我就换迟一点的班机在吉隆坡等他们。
见面时,都是很沉默,我只能抱他一下,把手搭在他肩上,一直静静坐在他身边。。。
除了勉强说出几句慰问和鼓励的话,我也没有话好说了,因为我知道人说什么都无济于事,只有神的灵和神的爱才能真正医治和安慰。

I asked Jaydon to take over the phone, we started arranging for everything, air tickets and so on.
I wanted Jaydon to fly home with Daniel even though Daniel said he would come back alone. I happened to be transitting to Kuching at KL airport too that day, so I changed to a latter flight to wait for them there in KL.
When we met, it was all very silent. I could only give him a hug and after that just put my hand on his shoulder and sat beside him quietly throughout…
Apart from forcing a few words of comfort and encouragement, I had nothing else to say as I knew human words could not do anything, only the Spirit and the love of God could minister true healing and comfort.

抵达古晋机场已经半夜了,好多弟兄姐妹都来接机。他没打招呼,也没跟任何人说话,我们就直接开车往殡仪馆。
他一下车就走向棺木瞻仰母亲遗容,没有哭、没有声音,就站在那边看着母亲好久好久。他一动也不动,手指紧抓住棺木边缘。。。
我也只能站在他的身后陪着他,我头脑一片空白,我没有话好说。。。单单看着他的背影,我的心也碎了。

When we arrived in Kuching, it was already midnight, may brothers and sisters were there waiting at the airport. He did not greet or talk to anyone. We went straight to the funeral parlour.
As soon as he got out of the car, he walked straight to the casket and just looked at his mother’s face. He did not cry, he did not make a sound, he just stood there looking at his mum for a very long time. He did not move at all, his fingers holding tightly to the edge of the casket…
I could only stand behind him to accompany him, I had nothing to say, my mind was blank… Just by looking at his back, my heart broke to pieces.

一段时间过后,他允许我载他回家梳洗了再倒回殡仪馆守夜。
我永远不会忘记他走进他与妈妈共用了二十七年的小房间的情景。。。
他一走进去,就停下来站在那边,一直注视着妈妈的床,妈妈的一些衣物还在床上,他站在那边注视妈妈的床好久好久,然后瘫坐在地上,一直注视着地上,没有哭,没有说话,没有动。。。
然后他静静的叫我也先回家梳洗,他说让他自己安静一下。

After some time had passed, he allowed me to send him home to wash and to later come back to the funeral parlour again to watch the night.
I will never forget that scenario when he walked into that small room he had shared with his mother for 27 years…
As soon as he entered, he just stopped and stood there staring at his mother’s bed, some of her clothings were still on the bed. He stood there staring at the bed for a long time, then he slumped and sat on the floor. There he was staring at the ground for a long time too, not crying, not speaking, not moving…
Then he quietly told me to go home to wash myself too, and said he would like to be alone for a while.

我来回的路上都不断祷告。主啊,只有你能够安慰,只有你能够鼓励。。。
再倒回殡仪馆陪他的时候,他开始能跟我们讲一点点话了。
我很安慰,我们几个人陪他守夜到天亮。。。

那天,我感到很无助,我不知该说什么。
我只能求神的灵来动工,求神的爱来安慰。
我也只能把手放在他肩膀上,让他知道他身边还有上帝,还有我。。。

On my way to and fro, I prayed continually. O Lord, only You can comfort, only You can encourage…
When we came back to the funeral parlour, he could begin to speak a little to us.
I was comforted. A few of us stayed with him till morning…

That day, I felt very helpless, I did not know what to say.
I could only pray for the Spirit of God to come and work, and for the love of God to comfort.
All I could do was to put my hand on his shoulder to let him know God is always there with him, and I will always be there for him too…

 

他回到主身边了。。。 He has gone back to be with the Lord…

今早醒来看到的简讯。。。Isaac 凌晨回天家了。。。

虽然以前在台湾有跟他搭配过一次,可是真正认识他也只不过是这两次到医院探访他的时候。
我知道神掌管一切,但心里难免还是会难过,人毕竟是有感情的。。。
而且他还很年轻,很多梦想未达到。。。

但主啊,你最懂,就让他安息在你怀抱里,就让他在天国里为你弹琴、唱歌吧。。。
也求主亲自安慰他的家人,和跟他最亲密的人。。。

至于我们,好好珍惜我们短暂的生命,好好爱身边的人,该做的趁还能做时都去做吧。。。

Woke up to see this message… Isaac has gone to be with the Lord…

Though I worked with him once in Taiwan, I only got to know him through these two visits in the hospital.
I know God is in control, but I do still feel sad because we all have emotions…
And he is still so young, so many dreams to achieve…

But O Lord, You know the best, do let him rest in Your embrace, do let him play his music and sing to You in heaven…
And Lord, do comfort his family members and people closest to him…

As for us, treasure the short life that we have, love those around us properly, do all what you ought to while you can…

他还这么年轻。。。 He is still so young…

我刚去了医院回来,去探访一个年轻人。。。

几年前上台湾 Good TV 节目时,他当我的键盘手。他在台湾发展他的音乐梦想,几个月前他回来了,罹患肺癌。。。
他本身没吸烟,但吸进旁边人的“二手烟”也非常危险。。。

他非常瘦,掉了30kg。。。感动的是,女友和另两位好友特从台湾飞来照顾他。。。他把女友叫来因他感觉自己不行了。。。我外甥是他好友,是外甥带我去看他。

他很虚弱,治疗伤到喉咙,几乎没声音讲话。他看到我第一句话就是“几年前在台湾帮你伴奏”。。。虽然没什么力气,他还很开朗、很健谈。。。言谈间他突然谈到有时候他思想会有骚扰,会沮丧和消极。。。他说他曾答应上帝很多事情,他要用音乐为上帝做很多事,他还有很多计划和梦想。。。

他告诉我起初在台湾发展有多辛苦,好不容易能够买冷气机了。。。好不容易能吃好一点了。。。好不容易有一点收入了。。。。可是如今却躺在这里病了。。。他说他问自己说,难道就这样结束了吗?

说着。。。说着。。。他掉下了眼泪。。。

我看得很心酸,三十一岁而已。。。离去前,我为他祷告、鼓励他,我还能做什么?

上帝啊,你可以给他机会完成梦想,用他的音乐来荣耀你吗。。。?

I’ve just been to the hospital to visit a young man…

Few years ago he played keyboard for me when I was singing for a certain GoodTV show in Taiwan. He was pursuing his music career in Taiwan. He came back few months ago, diagnosed with lung cancer… He himself does not smoke, so you see how dangerous it is to breathe in even “second-hand” smoke from other smokers…

He is skin and bones, he has lost 30kg… the touching thing was his girl friend and two other friends came all the way from Taiwan to take care of him… he asked his girl friend to come as he felt he was dying… My nephew is a good friend of his, it was my nephew who brought me to see him.

He is very weak, the treatment damaged his throat so he could hardly speak. The first thing he said when he saw me was “I played keyboard for you in Taiwan few years back”… Though very weak, he was still cheerful and chatty… in the midst of our conversations, he said sometimes he would be attacked mentally and he would feel down and depressed… He said he has promised God many things, he wants to serve God with his music and he still has a lot of projects and dreams in mind…

He told me how tough it was when he first went to Taiwan, and finally he could buy an air-conditioner… and finally he could eat better food… and finally he has some income… but now he is lying here in bed sick… he said he asked himself, is that it? Is that how it is going to end?

As he spoke, tears rolled down his cheeks…

My heart was very moved, only 31 years old… before I left, I prayed for him and encouraged him, what else can I do?

O God, would you give him a chance to fulfill his dream, to use his music to glorify You…?

那宝贵照片的故事:我的第一套西装。。。 Story of that precious photo: My first suit ever…

是的,这张照片的确非常有纪念性,而且是我唯一的一张。。。前阵子找不到时,我的确有点紧张,所以我祷告,终于让我找到了,感谢主!
那为什么这照片那么特别?你们有一些猜对了。。。

Yes, this photo is really very memorable to me and it is the only copy that I have… When I could not find it a while ago, I was a bit worried so I prayed and finally I found it, thank God!
Then why is this photo so special? Some of you guessed right…

它的确是我第一次参加歌唱比赛时拍的,当时才五年级,未满十一岁,也不知哪来的资讯和勇气会自己去报名参加成人歌唱比赛。
我想当时主办单位原本只安排前三名有奖,但大概看我勇气可嘉,也年幼可爱,就临时包了一个十块钱红包放在信封里,颁发给我当安慰奖,哈哈。。。
还记得我当时唱了刘文正的“最高峰”,在我们的小镇林梦一炮而红!哈哈!你有没注意到照片里那些哥哥姐姐们都在旁边笑,大概觉得我很可爱吧,哈哈!

但这照片还有一个更重要、更特别与叫我很感动,也是我很珍惜它的原因,那就是我身上穿的乃是我第一套西装。。。
小时候家里很穷,一年只有一次能有新衣穿,就是过年的时候;但我爸爸是裁缝师,他非常爱我。。。得悉我参加比赛,我并没要求,他竟为我量身定做一套西装,还带我去买一条领带,亲自帮我打领带,把我打扮得整整齐齐,让我去参加比赛。爸爸不善于表达感情,但那一天我永远不会忘记,我深深知道他很爱我,也很为我而感到骄傲。。。很可惜今天他看不到这篇文章了。。。

所以你们明白为什么这张照片对我那么重要了吧?

It was really taken when I participated in my first singing competition ever, I was only in Primary 5 then, not even 11 years old completely. I don’t know where I got the information and courage to register for the adult singing competition myself.
I think the orgainising committee only prepared prizes for the first three positions initially, but seeing my commendable courage and probably thinking I was small and cute, they just found some envelope to put a RM10 note inside for me as a consolation prize, haha…
I remember I sang a song from the veteran singer Liu Wen Zheng called “The highest peak” and became famous overnight in our small town Limbang, haha! Did you notice in the photo some big brothers and sisters were smiling as I sang, they probably found me very cute, haha!

But this photo has another more significant reason why it is so important, special and touching to me that I treasure it so much, and that is the suit I was wearing was my first suit ever…
We were very poor when young, we could only afford to have new clothes once a year during Chinese new year, but my dad happened to be a tailor and he loved me a lot… when he knew I was in the competition, without me requesting, he tailor-made for me this suit and brought me to shop for a neck tie and helped me to put on the tie himself. He dressed me up properly to go and sing that night. My dad was not an expressive person but I will never forget that day, I knew he loved me so much and was so proud of me… unfortunately he is not able to read this story today…

So you now know why this photo means so much to me?

过后我读中学预备班那一年(12岁多),我又参加了第二次歌唱比赛,爸爸又为我量身定做了第二套西装!他真的是很疼我。。。
这一次又是只拿了安慰奖,哈哈!我还听到有个大人说,他唱得比我好却拿不到奖,全都因为我的西装赢了他!
我的第二次歌唱比赛和第二件西装。。。

Later when I was studying in the transition class in secondary school (12 year-old plus), I joined another competition, and my dad tailor-made another suit for me! He really did love me a lot…
This time I won a consolation prize again, haha! And I overheard an adult saying he could sing better than me but he did not win any prize all because he lost out to my suit!
My second singing contest and second suit…

后来我出来古晋读书投靠姐姐们,那时没跟爸妈住在一起。
高二那年又去参加歌唱比赛。。。这一次爸爸没在,也没有人给我做什么西装了。。。而这一次比赛,我第一轮就被淘汰了,哈哈!这跟有没有西装无关,原因是其实我本来就不是很会唱歌!小时候那么敢参加歌唱比赛都是因为爸爸相信我,还为我量身定做西装鼓励我。。。上帝对我就像爸爸一样,明知道我不太会唱歌,竟然也让我成为福音歌手!爸爸的爱真是很伟大。。。

Later I came out to Kuching to study as my sisters were supporting me, so I did not live with my parents then.
When I was in Form 5, I joined another singing contest… this time dad was not around, so no one made any suit for me… and in this competition, I was kicked out after the first round, haha! This had nothing to do with wearing a suit or no suit, it was all because I actually could not sing very well! I dared to join singing competitions when young because my dad believed in me and tailor-made suits for me to encourage me… God is really like a dad to me too, knowing I can’t quite sing and yet He made me a Gospel singer! How great is the love of a father!

第三次歌唱比赛。。。没有西装。。。也没有得奖。。。
My third singing competition… no suit… and no prize too…

一首歌勾起一段回忆。。。 A song rekindles a certain memory…

“触景生情”是很确实的一句话。。。

有时候某个画面、景色、歌曲,甚至味道等等,都会让人想起一些往事。。。
当然这些回忆未必是伤心的,也有甜蜜的、有趣的。

歌曲特别会勾起我有一些回忆,因为我从小就喜欢听歌和唱歌,所以在成长过程中曾经很流行的歌曲,再听到难免会让我想起那段时间所经历或发生的事情。。。

信了主也一样,一些诗歌让我印象深刻,包括很多自己写的歌,背后都有一段故事。。。

记得有一首歌,好多年前在祷告会唱曾让我哭得肝肠万断,因为当时发生了某些事,以为这人因此也完蛋了。。。
我哭了几天几夜,如果要数做了牧师曾经历过的失望和伤害,这大概是我记忆中其中最痛的一次吧。。。

多年后,在教会又听到这首歌,在台下的我看到我原以为已经完蛋的人,却已重新在神面前事奉。。。不知该如何形容心中的感动和感恩。

当年唱这首歌时,这人曾让我流下多少伤心和绝望的眼泪。。。
可是那天再唱这首歌和看到这人,我所流的是欣慰和希望的眼泪。。。
那天,我看见了上帝的怜悯。。。

It is true that certain scenarios could provoke certain memories…

Sometimes just a picture, scenery, song or even fragrance can rekindle certain memories in your life…
And of course it does not have to be a sad memory, it can be something sweet or even funny.

Songs especially can rekindle some memories in me as I loved to sing and listen to songs from small. So songs that were very popular as I grew would somehow provoke memories of some incidents or experiences if I hear the songs again…

It is the same after believing in the Lord. Certain songs formed deep impression in me, including many songs I wrote myself, they all have a story behind…

I remember there is a certain song, many years ago when I sang it in a prayer meeting, I had never cried so much… because a certain thing happened then, I thought that was the end of this person…
I cried for many nights and days. If I were to recount the disappointments and hurts I had encountered as a pastor, this could well be just about the most painful in my memory…

So many years later, I heard this song again in church. As I stood there in the congregation watching this person whom I thought was lost many years back serving the Lord once again… it is hard to describe how touched and grateful I felt.

Years ago when I sang this song, this person had caused me to shed tears of pain and hopelessness…
But that day as I sang this song again, they were tears of gladness and hope…
That day, I saw the mercy of God…