Tag Archive - 禁食四十天,审美观,美好回忆,40-day fast

2012 禁食日记 – 第十二天:“神开始的” 2012 Fasting Diary – Day 12: “God started it”

 

 

第十二天(18/08/12)

我们之所以会悔改信主是圣灵的感动与工作,我们都是神手中的工作。上帝拣选我们的时候,他已知道我们的背景、过去、软弱和未来,然而他还选择在我们身上动工。。。

我知道自己的诸多软弱,多少次的不顺服和让上帝难过,我对自己没把握,更不懂上帝为何拣选我。
但我更知道上帝的伟大与全能,也知道没有什么能够难倒他,慈悲怜悯的他也绝对不会半途而废;所以纵然我对自己缺乏把握,我对我的神有绝对的把握和信任,晓得他一定完成他所开始的工作。

我深信那在你们心里动了善工的必成全这工,直到耶稣基督的日子。”
~ 腓立比书 1:6 ~

Day 12 (18/08/12)

That we would repent and believe in the Lord is really the conviction and work of the Holy Spirit, we are all work in God’s hand. When God chose us, He already knew our background, past, weaknesses and future, yet He chose to work on us…

I know my own many weaknesses, the number of times I was being disobedient and when I hurt God, I have no confidence in myself, and even more so, I do not understand why God would want to choose me.
But one thing I know even better is God’s greatness and almighty power, and I know nothing is too difficult for Him, and our kind and merciful God will never stop His work halfway undone. Therefore, no matter how I lack confidence in myself, I have full confidence and trust in my God that He will accomplish what He has started to do.

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
~ Philippians 1:6 ~

全国40天禁食:第九天 National 40-day Fast : Day 9

 

 第九天(15/08/12)

我们如果真的很喜欢、很爱、很在乎一个人,我们很自然的就会很喜欢跟他在一起,争取时间跟他见面,跟他一起聊天,喜欢听他说话;做什么、去哪里,都会喜欢有他在身边,不是吗?

我们对耶稣是这样吗?我们祷告、赞美敬拜、来教会、读圣经等等,只都是执行“基督教”信仰的任务,还是因为我们真的很在乎主、纯粹是因为喜欢和他在一起。。。?我们跟上帝到底有没有很真实的感情?求主怜悯。。。

耶稣再怎么累、怎么忙,他也会亲近父,我想不是为了求祝福、求恩膏,或执行宗教任务,只是因为他跟天父有很真实的爱的关系。。。

散了众人以后,他就独自上山去祷告。到了晚上,只有他一人在那里。”
~ 太 14:23 ~

Day 9 (15/08/12)

If we really do like, love or feel for someone, then very naturally we would love to be with that person, find time to spend with him, to talk with him and to listen to him talk; whatever we do or wherever we go, we would love to have that person beside us, is that not so?

Is that the way we are towards Jesus? Do we pray, praise, worship, come to church, read the Bible etc just to execute our “Christian” duties, or are we really concerned about spending time with Him, and just because we like to be with Him…? Do we really have a real relationship with God? May God have mercy…

No matter how tired or busy He was, Jesus would always come near to the Father, I think not because of wanting blessings or anointing, or to fulfill His religious responsibilities, but all because He has a very real loving relationship with the Father…

“After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone”
~ Matthew 14:23 ~

禁食之后感想:“奢侈”。。。 Thoughts After Fasting : “Luxury”…

 

其实禁食,特别是长时间的禁食,并不是一件想要做就能做的事;其实我相信,按肉体来想,没有人会喜欢禁食的。
这一次,在神还没感动我和给我力量禁食40天之前,我无法想象那40天毫无食物的日子,甚至会“怕”上帝会不会再感动我禁食40天。。。
可是时间一到,这些顾虑都是多余的!不知不觉40天早已过去了,我们也已恢复正常的饮食生活。

Actually fasting, especially long period of fasting, is not something you can just do it when you think you want to do it. In fact I believe, by our flesh, nobody likes to fast.
This time, before God convicted me and gave me the strength to fast for 40 days, I could not imagine at all without food for 4o days, and actually I was also kind of “afraid” as to wheher God would convict me to fast for 40 days again…
But when the time came, all these concerns were really unnecessary! Without realizing, 40 days have already gone by, and we have also resumed our normal eating and drinking lifestyle.

 

我们这一次采取逐渐性的禁法,前面29天还可以喝汤和果汁,最后11天只喝白开水,但很多人过不了最后11天白开水的那一关。。。
就连我自己,最后3天才真正全然白开水,前面几天白开水里偶尔还会加一点葡萄糖补充体力。

This time we took the gradual fast approach, we were still taking soup and juice in the beginning 29 days, only the last 11 days did we take plain water only, but many failed the plain water only for 11 days test…
Even I myself, I only took totally plain water in the last 3 days as I still added some glucose into my water before that to give me some energy.

有时候我们禁食采取只吃素的禁法,就只吃蔬菜和水果,那时就会发现原来吃惯了的肉是何等奢侈。。。
然后我们有时候采取,不只吃素,也禁淀粉之类的食物如:饭、面类、蛋糕和面包等,那时就发现淀粉类食物真是何等奢侈。。。
若全禁食物,就发现蔬菜和水果何等奢侈。。。
只可喝白开水时,又发现汤啦、热饮啦、果汁啦,都是何等奢侈。。。

Sometimes for fasting, we take the vegetarian fast, eating only fruit ad vegetables, during such a time, we would realize the meat we are so used to is such a luxury…
Then sometimes we not only go vegetarian, we stop eating starchy food too like rice, noodles, cakes and bread etc, in times like those, we would realize starchy food is such a luxury…
If we fast all food totally, we would realize fruit and vegetables are such luxury items…
When it is only drinking plain water, we would discover soup, hot drinks and fruit juice are so luxurious…

所谓”奢侈“,是指那些对我们原本很平常的食物饮料,变成我们“得不到”的东西。。。
原来禁食能够让你发现,我们其实是活在何等蒙福及”奢侈“的生活当中啊!我们的“饿”是出于自己自愿的选择,时间过了,马上又可以恢复与享受我们“奢侈”的生活;可是这世界有多少人却是毫无选择的日复一日、年复一年的肚子,毫无终止。。。原来在很多地方,一杯干净的白开水何尝也不是何等奢侈吗?

主啊,让我们不再抱怨生活困苦,让我们学习感恩及享受你给我们的一切。。。

“并且人人吃喝,在他一切劳碌中享福。这也是神的恩赐。”
~ 传道书3:13 ~

The so-called “luxury” is referring to food and drinks that are so ordinary to us normally becoming something we cannot get…
Fasting can indeed make you realize, we are actually living in such a luxurious and blessed life! Our “hunger” is our own voluntary choice, and when the time has passed, we can immediately return to and enjoy our “luxurious” lifestyle, where as there are so many people in this world who do not have a choice but are hungry day after day and year after year without ending… In actual fact, in many places, a glass of clean water is also very luxurious to them!

O lord, help us not to complain about life being tough again, teach us to be grateful and to enjoy all that You have given us…

“That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.”
~ Ecclesiastes 3:13 ~

Day 40 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (完结篇 / Conclusion)

第四十天:11月11日(五)

该以什么做结束呢?有那么多好写、那么多好说、那么多的感触、感想。。。

晚上,从吉隆坡来的特邀讲员,梅牧师讲道,有一个重点深触我心,是一辈子不可忘记的提醒。

他以路加福音第一章为背景,提到忠心事奉神的祭司,撒迦利亚夫妇,一生求子,如何从有盼望等到绝望。到年纪老迈,不可能生育的时候,再失望也没停止忠心事奉神。撒迦利亚持守上帝给他的职分,忠心在神给他的岗位和地方事奉;结果神就在那神拣选给他的地方向他显现。因着他的忠心,独行奇事的神为他成就了按人、按自己、按自然界都不可能的事情;撒迦利亚的妻子,以利沙伯竟然怀孕生子!

重点是,当神来你应当在的岗位和地方找你时,你在那里吗?他在那里找得到你吗?你是一个对神忠心的人吗
所以,你若渴望神为你行奇事,满足你心里一直期待的突破,或解决某个重担问题,做一个忠心事奉神,持守神所给你的恩赐和职分的人是何等重要啊!

“1:6 他 们 二 人 , 在 神 面 前 都 是 义 人 , 遵 行 主 的 一 切 诫 命 礼 仪 , 没 有 可 指 摘 的 。
1:7 只 是 没 有 孩 子 , 因 为 以 利 沙 伯 不 生 育 , 两 个 人 又 年 纪 老 迈 了 。
1:8 撒 迦 利 亚 按 班 次 , 在 神 面 前 供 祭 司 的 职 分 ,
1:9 照 祭 司 的 规 矩 掣 签 , 得 进 主 殿 烧 香 。
1:10 烧 香 的 时 候 , 众 百 姓 在 外 面 祷 告 。
1:11 有 主 的 使 者 站 在 香 坛 的 右 边 , 向 他 显 现 。
1:12 撒 迦 利 亚 看 见 , 就 惊 慌 害 怕 。
1:13 天 使 对 他 说 , 撒 迦 利 亚 , 不 要 害 怕 。 因 为 你 的 祈 祷 已 经 被 听 见 了 , 你 的 妻 子 以 利 沙 伯 要 给 你 生 一 个 儿 子 , 你 要 给 他 起 名 叫 约 翰 。”
~ 路加福音1章 ~

Day 40 : Nov 11th (Fri)

What should I write to conclude? So many things to wite about and to say, so many feelings and thoughts…

In the evening, Pastor Raymond Mooi, our specially invited speaker from KL preached. A certain point touched me deeply, a reminder I must not forget for all my life.

Using Luke Chapter 1 as his background story, Pastor Raymond mentioned how the very faithful priest Zechariah and Elizabeth must have grown from being hopeful to totally hopelesss in their quest for a child. When they were already very old and not possible for Elizabeth to conceive anymore, no matter how disappointed, they did not stop serving God faithfully. Zechariah stayed true to the responsibility God had given him, faithfully serving in the position and place where God had entrusted him with. As a result God appeared to him at the place where God had assigned him to be. Because of his faithfulness, the God of wonders performed for him something that was not possible with men, ourselves or in the natural. The wife, Eliazabeth conceived and gave birth to a son!

The key is, when God comes looking for you at the position or place where you are supposed to be at, will you be there? Can He find you there? Are you a faithful person to God?
Therefore, if you really desire God to do a miracle for you, to satisfy you with the breakthrough you have been waiting for in your heart, or to relieve you of a great burden and problem, it is very important to be a person who stays true to your God-given gift and position!

“6 Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly.
7 But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old.
8 Once when Zechariah’s division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God,
9 he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense.
10 And when the time for the burning of incense came, all the assembled worshipers were praying outside.
11 Then an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right side of the altar of incense.
12 When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear.
13 But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.”
~ Luke 1 ~

Day 39 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (再被提醒Kairos / Reminder of Kairos Once Again)

第三十九天:11月10日(四)

今天读传道书三章,再被提醒上帝的确有特定时候成就某些事情。当然我们都知道每天都充满神的恩典和赐福,但有些东西是季节性,和要看属灵气候的,那就是“kairos”的意思,那上帝特定的时刻,为成就或赐下某件事。

我们相信这一次的40天禁食是神带领我们进去的kairos,我们也相信最后一天(11月11日)的通宵祷告,也是上帝的kairos,而且他也已启示他将要赐给我们超过所求所想!阿们!

“3:1 凡 事 都 有 定 期 , 天 下 万 务 都 有 定 时 。
3:11 神 造 万 物 , 各 按 其 时 成 为 美 好 。 又 将 永 生 安 置 在 世 人 心 里 。 ( 永 生 原 文 作 永 远 ) 然 而 神 从 始 至 终 的 作 为 , 人 不 能 叁 透 。”
~ 传道书 ~

既然晓得凡事都有定时,然后神的话又说“人不能参透”;那我们该如何回应?
我们就当祷告有敏锐的灵,会探测神的时间,求他圣灵引领我们走进他的时刻,与浸在其中。。。

 

Day 39 : Nov 10th (Thur)

Read Ecclesiastes 3 today and once again reminded that God indeed has His special timing for certain things. Of course we know that everyday is full of God’s grace and blessings, but certain things are seasonal, and need to watch for the spiritual climate. That is the meaning of “kairos”, that is God’s special appointed time to accomplish or send down certain things.

We believe the 40-day fast we have this time is God guiding us into His kairos, and we also believe the watch-night prayer on the final day (Nov 11) is also God’s kairos. And He has already revealed to us too that He is going to give us things that are beyond what we ask and can imagine! Amen!

“3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
~ Ecclesiastes ~

Since we know there is a time for everything, then the word of God also says “no one can fathom”; then how shall we respond?
We then must pray for spiritual sensitivity, to discern God’s timing, and ask that His Holy Spirit will lead us into His timing and be immersed in it…

Day 38 : 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (发财的理由与途径 / Reason and way of becoming rich)

 

 

第三十八天:11月9日(三)

谁不想发财?谁不想做有钱人?
只要不要得罪神,不用犯罪手段得着的钱财,发财或有钱并没什么不可以,甚至会有许多好处,也是神许可!
但得着财富,随之而来的可能是很多压力,或未必会享受或快乐,尤其是靠自己力量得来的财富。唯有“耶和华所赐的福,使人富足,并不加上忧虑。”(箴言10:22)

但如何才能得着这耶和华所赐的福呢?当然圣经里有好一些明显原则,但今天跟你们分享哥林多后书9章:

“9:6 少 种 的 少 收 , 多 种 的 多 收 。 这 话 是 真 的 。
9:7 各 人 要 随 本 心 所 酌 定 的 。 不 要 作 难 , 不 要 勉 强 , 因 为 捐 得 乐 意 的 人 , 是 神 所 喜 爱 的 。
9:8 神 能 将 各 样 的 恩 惠 , 多 多 的 加 给 你 们 。 使 你 们 凡 事 常 常 充 足 , 能 行 各 样 的 善 事 。
9:9 如 经 上 所 记 , 他 施 舍 钱 财 , 周 济 贫 穷 。 他 的 仁 义 存 到 永 远 。
9:10 那 赐 种 给 撒 种 的 , 赐 粮 给 人 吃 的 , 必 多 多 加 给 你 们 种 地 的 种 子 , 又 增 添 你 们 仁 义 的 果 子 。
9:11 叫 你 们 凡 事 富 足 , 可 以 多 多 施 舍 , 就 藉 着 我 们 使 感 谢 归 于 神 。”

1)我相信在神眼中,多种或少种不在于你给的数目的大小,乃在于相比之下你保留给自己的有多少,或看你给出去的与你的收入或所拥有的比率。

2)神喜悦祝福和帮助人的心胸,而且是带着喜乐去做,不是勉强,也没有其它动机,甚至没有想到自己蒙福。

3)非常重要的是,你的善行最终带来人把感谢和荣耀归给神!

以上三点乃神要赐福给你,使你凡事富足的原则。

 

Day 38 : Nov 9th (Wed)

Who does not want to be prosperous? Who does not want to be a rich person?
As long as you do not sin against God or use sinful methods to get your money, there is nothing wrong to be rich, in fact there can be many advantages, and it is something God approves too!
But when you become rich, what comes along might be a lot of stress and pressure, especially wealth gotten through your own strength. But “the blessing of the LORD brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it.” ( Proverbs 10:22 )

But how can we receive this blessing of the Lord? Of course there are many principles in the Bible, today I will share with you 2 Corinthians 9:

“6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.
7 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
8 And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
9 As it is written: “They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor; their righteousness endures forever.”
10 Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.
11 You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.”

1) I believe in God’s eyes, sowing sparingly or generously is not dependent on the figure or amount you give but rather how much you keep for yourself in comparison, or in proportion of your giving with your income or how much you own.

2) God loves a heart that loves to bless and help others, and doing it with joy, not out of compulsion, and without any other motive, not even thinking of getting blessed for oneself.

3) Very importantly, your good deeds will cause people to give thanks and glory to God ultimately!

The three points above are the principles of God’s blessing you and making you rich in every way.

 

Day 37: 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (莫名的兴奋 / Inexplicable excitement)

 

 

第三十七天:11月8日(二)

该如何形容那种感觉?幼儿时在大年除夕期待初一的到来、年少时第一次要到海边度假的兴奋、与一群好友第一次到一个美丽的国家旅游、在机场等着思念已久的人。。。?
就是那种感觉吧,这几天内心里就有这种澎湃的感觉,现在亦是如此!

我也尝试问主说,我到底在兴奋什么?知道有好事情会发生,却不知是什么事!知道将得着我好喜欢的礼物,却又不知道那礼物是什么!带领中午祷告会的时候,终于有答案。。。

原来这答案只是回答我为什么我不知道自己在兴奋什么,而不是告诉我兴奋的是什么东西!
上帝说我不知道自己在兴奋什么,因为他要做的是一件“新事”,既然是“新”的,当然不存留在我记忆里,因此我不会知道那是什么东西。他也说他要做的是超越我所求所想的,那当然我也不会知道是什么。。。

“看哪!我要做一件新事,如今要发现,你们岂不知道吗?我必在旷野开道路,在沙漠开江河。”
~ 以赛亚书 43:19 ~

“神能照着运行在我们心里的大力,充充足足地成就一切,超过我们所求所想的。”
~ 以弗所书 3:20 ~

哇!这怎不叫人兴奋呢?
下午准备晚上要分享的“kairos”的信息时,心跳又开始加速了,所以我很确定这奇妙的事将要在11月11日我们结束禁食40天的通宵祷告时降临或开始!这心跳的感觉不仅让我联想以弗所3:20的“心里的大力”,我心里跳动的是否就是这“大力”。。。?

 

Day 37 : Nov 8th (Tue)

How shall I describe this feeling? Like childhood days anticipating the first day of Chinese New Year on New Year’s Eve, during my youth excited about going to the beach for a holiday for the first time, going to a beautiful country for a tour for the first time together with close friends, and waiting for someone you miss dearly at the airport…?
It is that kind of feeling, my heart has been stirring with this sensation past few days, even right now!

I also attempted to ask the Lord, what am I feeling excited about? I know something good is going to happen, but I do not what thing! I know I am going to receive a gift that I am going to love very much but I do not know what that gift is! While leading the noontime prayer session, I finally had the answer…

Actually this answer was only to answer me as to why I do not know what I am excited about, and not really telling me what the thing I am excited about exactly is!
God said I do not know what I am feeling excited about because he is going to do a “new thing”, and since it is “new”, it is of course not in my memory. Therefore I would not know what that thing is. He also said what he is going to do is beyond what I have ever asked or what I can imagine, then of course I would not know what that is…

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
~ Isaiah 43:19 ~

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”
~ Ephesians 3:20 ~

Wow! How can I not be excited if so?

This afternoon while preparing my “kairos” message to share at night, my heart began to beat faster again, so I know for certain this wonderful thing that is going to happen will descend or start during our watch-night prayer on November 11th as we conclude our 40-day fast! This unusual heart-beat caused me to recall the “power at work within us” in Eph 3:20, is it this “power” that is pumping in my heart…?

 

Day 36: 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (他带着微笑走了 / He Left With A Smile)

 

第三十六天:11月7日(一)

早上参加邵遵澜牧师约翰福音的教导,下午1:30我主持国双的丧礼。

很安慰,看到躺在棺木里的他是“含着微笑睡去”,真的很好看;就连他还没信主的阿姨都说“很美”。。。
国双母亲一直很不舍的说“让我再看他最后一眼,让我再看他最后一眼。。。”,我告诉妈妈说你要记得他的笑容,就记得他的笑容。

那么安详含着笑容睡去,你知道他很平安,知道他一定是去到一个很安详、很美丽的地方;看到的人都会很安慰,妈妈的心情也平复了许多,这是我很安慰的。

在丧礼时我分享我家的见证,说多年前我弟弟未满九岁时就离开这世界,他小小年纪都已懂得信耶稣,只是当时爸妈还没信主。我曾经问过妈妈为什么会在弟弟去世后信主?她说其中一个原因是,她看到他躺在棺木里的脸孔,好像一个天使,含着笑容睡着了。所以,我妈妈就相信弟弟信的耶稣一定是很好、很平安的上帝,一定是带他去很美丽的地方。。。

有一些人误会我昨天的分享,以为我深陷沮丧、灰心、挫折,其实不然,我只是与哀哭的人同哀哭,感受人突然离开的难过和沉重。我对神绝对没有怀疑或动摇,况且我很羡慕国双离开时的属灵生命,和他跟主的关系。他最后的日子也学习我们禁食祷告,甚至晨祷都出席!我记得他最后一次的晨祷的时候,我在台上还看着他祷告,心想他的灵命最近真的是突飞猛进。。。然后他最后的时刻,因病了没办法来教会,还在家里躺在沙发上开电脑,陪妈妈一起看聚会现场直播,从家里跟我们一起赞美敬拜,听道时还会笑,就在那时刻呼吸他的最后一口气。。。没有痛苦、没有挣扎,在神的同在里,有最爱的妈妈在身边,这样子回天家。。。

如果我们都能类似这样子回天家,真是何等蒙福的一件事。。。

提后4:6

“我现在被浇奠,我离世的时候到了。那美好的仗我已经打过了;当跑的路我已经跑尽了;所信的道我已经守住了。”
~ 提后 4:6-7 ~

 

Day 36 : Nov 7th (Mon)

Attended Rev James Shao’s seminar on the book of John in the morning, I conducted Shuang’s funeral at 1:30pm.

Very comforted seeing him “sleeping with a smile” on his face in the casket, he looked good; even his aunty who is not a Christian yet said he was “beautiful”…
Shuang’s mother repeatedly said “Let me have a last look at him, let me have a last look at him…”, I told the mother to remember his smile, just to remember his smile.

So at peace, sleeping with a smile, you know he was really at rest, and you know he has gone to a very peaceful and beautiful place. Whoever saw his last look would be comforted, the mother has calmed down a lot too, this is very reassuring to me.

During the funeral, I shared my family’s testimony. I told them how many years ago my youngest brother who was not even nine left this world. He already believed in Jesus though still a kid, my parents were not Christians then. I once asked my mother why she would believe in Jesus after my brother passed away. She said one of the reasons was she saw in that tiny casket, the face of an angel sleeping with a smile on his face. Therefore, my mother believed that the Jesus my brother trusted in must be a very good peaceful God, and that Jesus must have brought him to a very beautiful place…

Some people misunderstood my sharing yesterday, thinking that I was very depressed, discouraged and feeling defeated. No, you have mistaken, I was only weeping with those who wept, feeling the sadness and heaviness of the sudden departure of someone. I certainly did not doubt God over this. Furthermore, I feel kind of envious of Shuang’s spiritual life and relationship with God at the time of his departure. He learnt to fast and pray with us during his last days, and even attended the early morning prayer sessions! I remember during his final morning prayer, I was watching him from the pulpit, thinking to myself that this guy’s spiritual life had advanced so much recently… Then in his final moment, as he could not make it to church because of illness, he was still lying on the couch at home, turning on the computer to watch our live broadcast with the mother. They joined in the praise and worship, laughed even when we joked in the midst of the sermon, and it was at that time that he breathed his last… no suffering, no struggling, in the presence of God, with the mother he loved so much beside him, he went back to be with the Lord…

If we could all go back to be with the Lord in similar situation, would not that be such a blessed thing?

“For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
~ 1 Tim 4:6-7 ~

Day 35: 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (突如其来的打击 / Sudden And Unexpected Blow)

第三十五天:11月6日(日)

今天早上我的心情极其沉重与难过,其实是从昨晚散会后开始。

散会时,庭辉说他要去医院紧急病房看国双。我就问发生了什么事,是不是禁食过度,因我知道国双也有禁食。
庭辉说据说是身体不太舒服,发冷,昨天淋到雨,人有一些感冒,但好像很严重。

庭辉还没离开教会,我就接到国双姐姐打来的电话,很急的叫我们祷告,说医生说很不乐观。我也很讶异,为什么感冒会这么严重?我也一直担心是禁食过度。听他姐姐的语气非常焦急,我就赶快召集一些弟兄姐妹一起赶去医院。

抵达医院,还在停车的时候,国双姐姐又打来哭着说不必去了,他已经走了。。。

主啊,怎么会呢?他还这么年轻,下午和昨天还好好的,我看到他这几天都来晨祷,都觉得很感动,特别注意他。。。去医院途中,我们一路上都不中断的祷告。。。

我们还是进去病房看,看到他哥哥国贵在他的床边;他也问我为什么会这样,我没有办法回答。我把手放在国双的肩膀,还是尝试为他祷告,他还是走了。。。
医生说查不出死因,需要解剖来看;但他们也说不是禁食的缘故,这至少让我有点安慰。。。

赶到他母亲的家,家人说都不敢跟妈妈透露真相,因为国双是妈妈最疼爱、最小的孩子,四十年来都一直留在妈妈身边照顾妈妈。可是妈妈已经察觉到,正在那边痛哭说她无法接受。。。

一个失去爱儿的母亲的心谁能体会?谁能安慰?我也只能紧抓住妈妈的手,抱着她,让她哭。。。

跟随我来的青少年也在说牧师不知该如何安慰这母亲,我没有办法,因为这种伤痛很深,什么属灵的话、安慰的话都无济于事,除非神恩膏你的嘴唇,有神的灵亲自充满与安慰这颗破碎的心。。。

主啊,求怜悯。。。

“主耶和华赐我受教者的舌头,使我知道怎样用言语扶助疲乏的人。主每早晨提醒,提醒我的耳朵,使我能听,像受教者一样。”
~ 以赛亚书 50:4 ~

 

Day 35 : Nov 6th (Sun)

This morning my heart was really heavy and sad, it actually started from last night after the meeting.

After the meeting, Jonathan said he wanted to go to the hospital’s emergency department to see Shuang. I asked him what had happened, was it because of over-fasting? Because I knew Shuang fasted with us too.
Jonathan said from what he heard, Shuang was not feeling well and felt very cold, he might have contracted some serious flu because he was caught in the rain yesterday.

Before Jonathan could leave, Shuang’s sister called me sounding very urgently asking us to pray for Shuang because the doctor said the situation was not very optimistic. I was very surprised, why would flu be so serious? I was also concerned that whether it was due to over-fasting. The sister sounded really anxious, so I gathered some brothers and sisters to go to the hospital with me.

Arriving at the hospital, while still looking for a park, the sister called again, she cried and asked me not to go anymore because he was gone…

O Lord, how could that be? He was still so young, and alive and well just this afternoon and yesterday when we saw him. I was also very touched to see him in the early morning prayer meeting the past few mornings, so I specially noticed him… and on the way to the hospital we were praying unceasingly…

We went into the emergency room and saw his other brother standing beside his bed. The brother also asked me why, I could not answer. I laid my hand on Shuang’s shoulder and attempted to pray for him still, but he still left…
The doctor said they do not know the cause of death and need to do a post mortem; but they did say too it was not due to fasting, that did comfort me a little…

We rushed to the house to visit the mother. The siblings said they could not bring themselves to tell the mother because Shaung was the youngest and had always been mommy’s boy, all these forty years he had been by the mother’s side to take care of her. But she already sensed it and was crying desperately saying she could not accept the fact…

Who could feel the heart of a mother who lost her beloved child? Who could comfort her? All I could do was to hold her hand tightly and hugged her to let her cry…
The young people who came with me were also wondering how I was going to comfort this mother. I could not, because this kind of pain is deep, whatever spiritual or comforting words are all useless unless God anoints your lips, and the Spirit of God Himself fills and comforts the broken heart…

O Lord, have mercy…

“The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.”
~ Isaiah 50:4 ~

Day 34: 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary (用功努力 / Diligence And Hard Work)

第三十四天:11月5日(六)

今天感觉恢复学生的身份,下午就像一个好学生一样,很努力温习功课,好像要面对考试,还有点读得来不及的感觉!
原因是这几天都要为国际闻名的老前辈,有“讲道王子”的绰号的邵遵澜牧师作翻译。我们邀请邵牧师来教导一共十二堂的约翰福音,每一堂都需要有英文翻译,好让所有的会友都能领受这美好的福份。

邵老师写了一本分析约翰福音的书叫“十面供应”,这一次的讲解也按照书的内容与秩序。所以,为了确保翻译顺畅、无误,我要先大概了解每一章的内容,还要熟悉约翰福音的英文经文。因此,我需要重读英文版的约翰福音,还特別大声朗读,要确定发音准确和读得顺畅。。。然后还要对照邵牧师书中的讲解,思想内容该如何翻译。

其实沒之前准备,现场翻译还是可以应付,但偶尔有一些字眼临时翻译得不太准确,有些经文,特别是名称也需要时间回想。所以,你们不要看我翻译得好像很轻松,得心应手,我也是会感觉到压力的。但我相信,除了上帝的恩典、怜悯,圣灵的恩膏和智慧之外,认真准备也是很重要的!

其实不是做翻译或在台上讲道罢了,我们日常生活里的众多事情如:读书、工作、家务、人际关系等等,也都要常常训练,才会越发进步、越发优秀、越发成功的!

“这些事你要殷勤去做,并要在此专心,使众人看出你的长进来。”
~ 提摩太前书 4:15 ~

Day 34 : Nov 5th (Sat)

Today I felt like I have returned to my student’s days, I was just like a good student the whole afternoon, revising my homework very diligently, like facing an exam, and even kind of felt I did not have enough time to finish studying!
Reason being these few days I am the interpreter for internationally renown elder, Reverend James Shao, who alos has the nickname of “The prince of preaching”. We invited Rev Shao to do a teaching of 12 lessons on the book of John, and each session must be interpreted into English, so that all our members will receive this great blessing together.

Rev Shao has recently written a book that analyses the contents of the book of John called “Complete Supply” or “Ten-fold Supplies” (roughly interpreted). The teaching this time will follow the content and order of the book. Therefore, to make sure my interpretation is smooth, without mistake, I must first get to know the content of each chapter, and I must be familiar with the English version of the verses in John. So I need to re-read the book of John in English, and I read it aloud to make sure I could pronounce and read it smoothly… Then I have to refer to what is written in Rev Shao’s book to consider how I should interpret some words or content.

Actually I can still handle if I interpret on the spot without prior preparation, but occasionally some words are not interpreted so accurately, and some Scripture, especially names need time to recall. So, do not think it looks so easy when I am interpreting, so effortless, I actually do feel the pressure too. But I believe, apart from the grace and mercy of God, the anointing and wisdom of the Holy Spirit, to prepare seriously is also important!

In fact, not just for  interpreting or preaching behind the pulpit, many things in our daily lives like: studying, working, housework, inter-personal relationships etc, need constant practising too, only then we can improve further, be even more outstanding and successful!

“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.”
~ 1 Timothy 4:15 ~