不负众望，Edwin 感人的祷告！ Not disappointing you all, Edwin’s Touching Prayer!
我强忍着眼泪，希望能成功打完这感人的内容，因每每想到Edwin感人的祷告，我的泪水就夺眶而出。。。
孩子纯真的祷告最感人。。。我只能这样形容Edwin的祷告，那一份诚实、那一份单纯、那一份自然、那一份真实。。。
请你们预备好纸巾或手帕，免得泪流满面，破坏了脸上打扮；你们有些可能要一边跪、一边读，因为你读了可能马上就有感动要进入祷告状态。。。
首先，你可能对我也感到很困惑，我怎么会去偷听别人的祷告呢？
喂！请你们尊敬我的人格，我才不像你们为了想知道答案而这几天祷告会就坐在Edwin旁边偷听他的祷告！
我之所以会知道关于这感人祷告是这样的。。。我在办公室电脑一般上都是开着的，所以我通常都会看到我msn上的名单，谁在上网啊，等等。。。那，很多人也很习惯性的把当天的心情、想法啊等等，写在名字旁边当作当天的“标语”，你们知道我指的是什么吧？
就在那天下午，我突然看到Edwin名字旁边出现一个发自内心的标语，他写着：“主啊！求祢帮我作决定！”
简短的一句话，发自内心深处，你可感觉出Edwin的茫然和抉择，他一定在面对人生一些重大决定。。。身为一位充满慈父心肠又凡事很敏感的牧师，我当然非常很有负担的想要帮助Edwin处理他的困惑，或者让他把心事分享出来，这样我好为他代祷，早日作出正确的人生抉择。。。
以一位很属灵和很有经验的牧师而言，在我脑海里出现几个可能性：
1) 刚进入大学的Edwin正在求主指示他该选择哪一个科系或未来职业：做厨师吗？开蛋糕店吗？还是做煮炒？；或
2) 才华洋溢的Edwin人虽然矮但蛮会跳舞、又会一点点贝斯、又很厉害唱歌唱得没有感情、又很有本事调音响调到很吵、又专门会帮人把吃不完的食物吃完。。。样样都那么会的他一定是非常困惑他在教会应该选择哪一个事奉；或
3) 正值青春期的他，有那么多矮矮的女生喜欢他，他一定一时无法决定该选择哪一位。。。
面对人生这几项重要的决定，你说不是牧师来帮他，还有谁能帮呢？
所以，当时再怎样忙碌和疲惫，我都按奈不住牧者的爱心，马上从msn寄了一句慰问，也给他一个肯定说“我在这里，有什么需要我帮忙或代祷的吗？”。。。
他安静了一阵子没回答，我知道他被我的关怀感动到了，说不出话来。。。
我也明了内心的挣扎有时候是一时开不了口的。。。
我耐心的等候，我不能抛下他不管。。。
他终于有动静了。。。我感受得到他很挣扎、很痛苦的，一句一句把他内心的抉择向我诉说。。。
他说他正在面对三个抉择，不知道要选哪一个！
看！给我说中了，我就告诉你我的灵是很敏锐的！
我就鼓励他跟我分享。。。起初他还说：没什么啦，牧师，没关系啦。。。
你看，年纪小小(大概19岁)就懂得不要让牧师操心，宁可自己一个人承担，也不要麻烦牧师！这么好，这么体贴牧师的好羊，我岂能置之不理呢？
我还是鼓励他把心事说出来，他还是不讲；我探测到事态的严重性，所以没办法，为了他自己的好处只好使用牧师的权柄逼他讲了。。。
结果他就很顺服的把心中的困惑说出来了。。。
Edwin说：。。。
他说那天下午他非常闲空，可是他不知道应该怎样打发他的时间，所以他就问神说： 主啊，求你帮我作决定，我是应该睡午觉呢、或是玩电脑游戏、或是看DVD电影。。。
此刻我已泪眼模糊，无法继续再写下去了，对不起。。。
我知道你们也都感动的哭了。。。
I’m trying to control my tears, hopefully I can finish typing this touching essay because each time I recall Edwin’s touching prayer, my tears would flow uncontrollably…
A child’s innocent prayer is most touching… that is all I could describe Edwin’s prayer, a little touch of honesty, a little touch of innocence, a little touch of spontaneity, and a little touch of sincerity…
Please get ready your tissue paper or handkerchief, so your uncontrollable tears won’t spoil your make-up; some of you might want to kneel and read at the same time for you might have the urge to get into a prayerful mode immediately after reading…
But first, some of you might be feeling a little suspicious of me, as to why I eavesdropped on someone’s prayer?
Hey! Please show some respect here, I’m not like you guys who sat beside Edwin the past few days in prayer meetings to eavesdrop so you would know the answer!
The reason I knew about his prayer is this… my computer is always on in my office, so I can always see the contact list on my msn, and know who is online etc… and we know many people have the habit of writing a short sentence or few words describing their mood or thought on that day and put that as a “headline” next to their names, you know what I’m talking about, right?
And on that afternoon, I suddenly saw the headline next to Edwin’s name describing something from deep within his heart, he wrote: “O Lord, please help me to decide!”
A very simple sentence, but from the very bottom of his heart, you could immediately feel his loss and dilemma, he must be facing some major decisions in his life… As a super sensitive pastor with a fatherly heart, I of course felt the burden to help Edwin solve his crisis, or let him share his heart out so I could intercede for him, so that he would very soon make the right decision concerning his life…
And as a very spiritual and experienced pastor, a few possibilities came to my mind:
1) As a university freshie, Edwin must be seeking the Lord as to what course he should take and what career to pursue in future: be a chef, or open a bakery, or start a restaurant; or
2) Being a multi-talented guy, Edwin though short can dance quite well, knows a little bit of bass, is very good at singing without emotion, and very capable of adjusting the sounds to a very noisy level, and especially helpful in finishing leftover food… such a talented guy, he must be very confused as to which ministry he should focus on in church; or
3) Being an adoloscent, so many short girls like him, he must be very uncertain who he should choose…
Facing such major decisions in life, if his pastor does not come to his rescue, tell me who can help him?
Therefore, no matter how busy or tired I was at that moment, I could not suppress a shepherd’s loving heart, and immediately sent a message of concern on msn to him to reassure him that “here I am, do you need any of my help or prayer?”…
He was silent for quite a while, I knew he was touched by my concern so he could not speak…
I also understood sometimes when you have struggles in your heart, it is not easy to start talking…
I waited patiently, I could not just abandon him like that…
Finally there was some response from him… I could feel his struggle and pain as he slowly opened up to share his inner dilemma with me…
He said he was facing three decisions, and he did not know which to choose!
See! Right on the dot! I told you my spirit is sharp!
So I encouraged him to share with me… at first he was reluctant, saying: it’s nothing, pastor, don’t bother…
Look at him, at such a young age (about 19), he already knew not to bother the pastor, he would rather carry the burden himself and not trouble the pastor! Such a good and understanding lamb, can I just ignore and leave him alone?
Still I encouraged him to share what was on his heart, he still refused; I could sense the seriousness of the matter, so no choice, for his own good I had to exercise my pastoral authority to force him to say…
As a result, he very obediently told me the concern of his heart…
Edwin said :…
He said he was very free that afternoon, but he did not know how to utilise his time, that was why he prayed to God and asked: O Lord, please help me to decide, should I take a nap, or play computer game or just watch a DVD movie…
At this very moment, tears cloud my eyes again and I can’t continue typing, I’m sorry…
And I know all of you are also equally as touched and crying now…