Tag Archive - 幽默篇,humourous story

大熱門高偉宏沒進入決賽??? Hot favourite David Koh not in the final???

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可靠消息称,大热门“琴与炉”的作者高大团长,被亲切称为“红哥”的高伟宏,,少年人最爱最支持的高大团长,没有进入决赛!!!
这消息可靠吗?据说他是被迫退赛的其中一名!被迫退赛的原因很简单,怕他太红,威胁了主办单位幕后老板的地位!
这幕后老板又是谁,抱歉这不方便透露。。。

Reliable sources say the hot favourite, writer of “The harp and the censer” mighty leader Koh, dearly called Brother Red, the most loved and supported leader of the youths is not in the final!!!
Is this information reliable? According to the source, he is Koh is said to be one of the two forced to withdraw from the competition! The reason is simple, for fear that he might become too “red” (popular) thus threatening the position of the boss behind this competition!
As for who this boss behind the scene is, sorry it is not convenient to reveal…

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记者有企图联络红哥要证实此惊人消息,但他手机没开,他两个女儿高宁和高静也拒绝回答任何问题。。。
我们怀疑很可能他伤心过度避谈此事,或者被下令封口!

Our reporter attempted to contact Brother Red to confirm this shocking news but his mobile phone is not on and both his daughters, Laetitia and Trixie refused to answer any question too…
We suspect he must be devastated by this and avoid talking about this topic or he has been ordered to shut his mouth!

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另,也有消息指,另一名被迫退赛的准决赛选手是志恒,外号“恨你脏”,原因是他长得太像周星驰和林志颖的混合体,若他进入决赛会模糊焦点!
但记者不敢联络恨你脏,因他不喜欢接电话,怕被他骂。。。我们会从他女儿绿卡那边探听消息~

Besides, there is another news saying the other confirmed finalist being forced to withdraw is Henry Chong, nicknamed iGeek, reason being he really resembles the mix of Stephen Chow and Jeremy Lin Zhi Ying, if he is in, he will become a major distraction of the competition!
Our reporter dared not call him for fear that we might get scolded as he does not like to answer calls… but we will try to extract information from his daughter, Ricca~

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这次比赛真是一波未平一波又起,太多流言和假设。。。
或者难道赛事未比赛已有结果?
难道写“我们唱得很大声”的那个”饥民“是内定冠军?

This competition really suffers onslaught after onslaught, so many rumours and assumptions…
Or perhaps the competition results are already know before the competition even starts?
Or may be they have already fixed the guy who wrote “We sing loud”, Skinny Meng as the champion?

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这一大堆负面消息会不会影响收视率?少年人会不会全体杯葛这场大决赛?
一连续突发事件让主办单位措手不及,还是他们一手促成???
放心,我们会步步追踪,一有最新消息就会毫无保留报给大家听!
请锁定www.gtlim.com,最可靠消息来自这里,请勿听信其它没证实消息和来源!

Would all these negative news affect the rating of the programme? Would the youths boycott the final altogether?
This series of sudden incidences have taken the organizers by surprise or did they mastermind all this themselves???
Do not worry, we would pursue every clue and evidence, when we have the information, we will report unreservedly to you all!
Please stay logged into www.gtlim.com, the most reliable source comes from here, do not listen to other unsubstantiated news or sources!

超级搞怪!真受不了!! Super crazy! Can’t stand him!!

这是我们的苹果仙人,阿恒,说他是古晋周星驰,一点都不为过。。。
你看他那一副脸,都不知道葫芦里卖什么膏药!

This is our Apple Genie, Hen, to say he is the Stephen Chow of Kuching is really not over-exaggerating…
Look at that face, wonder what he is thinking in his mind!

 

 

整个月大家都在练跑时他都没出现,突然间最后一两天他放消息说,他已经练好怎样抓住对手的脚,让他们没有办法跑。。。
专门想出古古怪怪的主意!
你看他跑哪个方向。。。

The whole month when everyone was training hard for the race, he did not appear. Then suddenly on the last two days, he released news that he had already trained well to hold on tightly to the other runners’ legs so they could not run…
Always very good at coming up with crazy ideas!
Look at which direction he was running…

 

 

然后“砰”一声!
你看!真让人受不了!
看了大家都会笑,哪还有力气跑?好狡猾!哈哈哈哈!!!

Then “bang” it went!
Look at him! Really can’t stand him!
Everyone would laugh and who could still have the strength to run? Very cunning! Hahahaha!!!

 

他们是飞鹰队,口号是“We are Eagles WIN! You are chicken wings!!”
主题歌是:teng teng teng teng teng…..

Their team is called “The Eagles” and their slogan is “We are Eagles WIN! You are chicken wings!!”
Their theme song is: teng teng teng teng teng….

 

这是他们的组长YB志扬,一样搞笑!
This is their leader YB Chee Yong, real funny guy too!

 

隐藏才华被发掘。。。 Hidden talent explored…

话说,环境可以改变一个人,也可以激发人的潜能。。。
那天,在吉隆坡廉航飞机场,这话应验在我身上了!
又有谁会想到我竟然是灭蝇高手?若不露两下子,也不会被注意到吧?

It was said, environment can transform a person, and it can also motivate your hidden talent…
That day, at KL LCCT, this came to pass on me!
Who would have thought I am actually a talented fly-terminator? If I did not show them, I would never have been noticed…

 

 

那天因有几个小时等飞回古晋的飞机,就到饮食店买咖啡喝。。。
无法想象在这么重要及游客众多的场所,竟然苍蝇满满盖著餐桌!
起初我们只是挥手把苍蝇吓走,可它们一下子又飞回来。。。我看不下去了!
我真服了一些人,包括我的同伴们,那么轻易就适应与接纳一群讨厌的伙伴围绕你,飞来飞去。。。

店里也没什么灭蝇器具,我就吩咐少年人去问员工有没有灭蝇拍之类的东西,他说没有。。。
我就吩咐彬彬去买一份报纸,我要把它卷成“棍子形”当苍蝇拍!
结果。。。请看我的成就!在短短的不到二十分钟内。。。
我用的报纸是南洋商报。。。

That day, because we had a few hours to wait for our flight back to Kuching, we went to the shop for some coffee…
Hard to imagine such an important and tourists frequented place could have so many flies covering the tables!
Initially, we only waved our hands to scare the flies away, but they soon returned again… and I could not stand it!
I was amazed at how easily other people, including my companions so easily adjusted and accepted such unwanted company swarming around you…

There was no fly-traps in the shop, I asked my youth to go ask the staff for some fly swat or whatever, he came back empty-handed…
So I asked Jonas to go buy some newspaper which I was going to roll into a “stick” that I could use as a fly swat!
The result… please see my achievement! Within a short period of less than 20 minutes…
I used Nanyang Daily…

 

 

别人以为我是太闲空,无聊到“打苍蝇”。。。我才不是!我是为民除害!
有些人可能觉得我在杀生,很残忍。。。可知苍蝇是多么的肮脏及疾病带菌者,无法想象为何要保护苍蝇。。。

接下来,对于那些有意参与为民除害行动的,我也不吝向你们传授一些灭蝇技巧。。。
仔细观察以下图片,也请注意眼神和身体姿势,那些是很重要的。。。

Some think I am too free, or too bored till I “killed flies”… I was not, ok?! I was doing the community some good!
Some may think I am very cruel for killing innocent lives… but do you know how dirty flies are and they are disease-carriers? Can’t imagine why flies ought to be protected…

Next, for those who are interested in doing the community some good, I will be generous in sharing my fly-terminating technique…
Observe the following pictures carefully, and please also take note of my stare and body posture, those are crucial…

 

第一步:买一份南洋商报,卷成棍子形状,寻找目标。。。
Step 1: Buy yourself Nanyang Daily, roll into shape, look for your target…

 

第二步:锁定目标,眼神要狠,不可心软。。。
Step 2: Aim at your target, stare fiercely, do not soften your heart…

 

第三步:用力挥下去,但力度要对,要留完整尸体。。。衣服也尽量不要太短,免得曝露太多不雅。。。
(与Megan Fox在”Transformers”清理她单车雷同的姿势完全是碰巧,绝无模仿或抄袭。。。)

Step 3: Hit with much strength, but must be the right strength as we must leave the corpse intact… make sure your shirt is not too short or it is unsightly to over-expose yourself…
(The similar posture with Megan Fox cleaning her motorbike in “Transformers” is purely coincidental, definitely no imitation or copying…)

 

刚刚说到力度要对,要保留完尸是有原因的。。。
因为环境又激发起另一种隐藏的才华,即,阿兆的特别艺术:死苍蝇设计

We mentioned that the strength must be right to preserve an intact corpse is with a purpose…
Because the environment has motivated yet another hidden talent, i.e. Zhao’s special art: Design of dead flies

 

因这整个感人事件是发生在亚航廉航机场,所以为了纪念,阿兆把死苍蝇设计成亚航的口号字眼“FLY”。。。即,“Now everyone can FLY”的意思,很创意吧?
苍蝇英文单字也是“FLY”,希望亚航也会解决苍蝇为患问题。。。

Because this entire touching incident happened at Air Asia’s LCCT, so in remembrance, Zhao designed the dead flies into the word “FLY” taken form Airasia’s slogan “Now everyone can FLY”, very creative, right?
And hopefully Airasia will also do something about the FLY-infestation…