April 3, 2012

我一边开车，一边想着刚才她讲的那一番话，一阵鼻酸，我赶快抬头，不让眼泪流下来。。。
As I was driving, I thought about what she said just now, I had a sudden urge to cry, I quickly lifted up my head so my tears would not roll down…

 

 

通常都是她跟我说她头发长了、乱了。。。问我是否能带她去修剪整理，因她知道我常常都很忙。
可今天我自己心血来潮，自己安排带她去弄头发，去接她时，她很开心，但她竟然问说：是你自己想要带我去的吗？
唉，听她这样问，我也很惭愧，一定是我很少这样做。。。

Normally it is her who tells me that her hair has grown long and messy… and she will ask whether I could bring her to do her hair as she knows I am always very busy.
But today I myself had this sudden urge to bring her, so when I went to fetch her, she was very happy, but she asked me this as well: Are you bringing me on your own initiative?
Sigh, I felt ashamed upon hearing that, it must be so rare that I would do something like that for her…

 

 

就是在去理发的途中，她跟我聊了让我很心酸的话题。。。
她问我的意见，她应该被埋葬在哪里？在家乡林梦跟爸爸一起吗，还是在古晋比较方便。。。？
我有点错愕，因没心理准备。后来我跟她说，重要的是我们去哪里，不是埋葬在哪里；我说弟弟也埋在不同的地方，但爸爸和弟弟都在天堂在一起了。

她听了若有所思，仿佛忆起什么，然后很高兴和安心的说：是啊，你爸爸要离开的时候，我跟他说到天堂找我们的小儿子，你爸爸微微的笑了笑，就安然的离开了，我们一定会在天堂见的。。。
我知道她想念爸爸和弟弟了，弟弟已经去世33年，做母亲的始终还会思念自己的孩子。。。

It was during the journey to the hairdresser that she shared with me a topic that kind of made me feel like crying…
She asked my opinion as to where she should be buried? Whether in our hometown with my father, or in Kuching which is more convenient…?
I was kind of taken aback as I was not prepared for this topic. Then I told her the important thing is where we are going and not where we are buried, and I said my little brother was also buried at a different place but he is now in heaven with father.

She seemed to be thinking after hearing that as if she recalled something, then happily and feeling assured she said: You’re right, when your dad was about to leave, I told him to go look for our youngest son in heaven, your dad smiled at me and departed peacefully, we will surely meet in heaven…
I know she is missing dad and my little brother, my brother passed away 33 years ago, but a mother will certainly miss her own child..

 

 

头发做好了，送妈回去了。。。
一个人开车回家，想着跟妈的对话，眼眶满了泪水。。。
但我很感恩，因为妈妈不惧怕死亡，且充满盼望，认识神就有这个恩典。

Her hair was done, I sent her home…
Driving home alone in my car, I thought of the whole conversation with mum, tears welled up in my eyes…
But I am very thankful, for mum is not afraid of death, but is full of hope, that is the grace for knowing God.

 

我心里面也想，我应该给妈更多时间，与更主动带她出去做她喜欢的事。。。
只要能呼吸就要珍惜。。。

And I thought in my heart as well that I must give mum more time, and to have more initiative to take her out to do things she likes…
Treasure it while we can still breathe…

 

September 11, 2011

 

那天在教会对妈有一个小误会，那时我正在带领祷告会，在分享的时候，妈突然举起手开始讲话。。。
我最怕妈这样了，因为她有时候很喜欢讲见证，而且在不适当的时候，我就想这次又干嘛了？
我就做了一些手势和打个眼色，要她安静，不要骚扰聚会。。。
起初她还想继续讲，我还是不允许。她没办法只好乖乖保持安静。。。

That day I had a slight misunderstanding with mum, I was leading the prayer meeting then. While I was sharing, she suddenly raised her hand to speak…
That is what I am often very weary about concerning mum, because sometimes she just loves to share some testimony at the most unsuitable moment, so I thought what is it again this time?
So I signalled with my hand and gave her that stare to silence her, I did not want her to disrupt the meeting…
Initially she wanted to continue to speak but I would not hear of it. She had no choice but to obediently remain quiet…

 

散会后，我就像质问小孩子一样问她，你干嘛又骚扰我的聚会？不跟你说过不要随便讲话或发言吗？
我说这样子我会很难为情的，人家会说怎么牧师的母亲好像不会尊重场面。
她跟我道歉，然后她才告诉我她为何急着发言。。。

After the meeting, I questioned her like a little kid and asked why she disturbed my meeting just now? I said had I not told you before not to simply talk or speak up?
I said that would embarrass me for people might think how come Pastor’s mum does not respect certain situation.
She apologized, then she explained to me as to why she was so anxious to speak…

 

原来这几个礼拜，因不得已妈又得倒回去疗养院小住一个月。一进去不久，她就告诉我之前她在那里认识的几个老人家都已去世，她很讶异。。。
然后她也很担心她们有没有信主得救，所以这一次她又很积极的传福音。

她之所以在祷告会进行到一半举手要发言，是因为要告诉我，那晚她还没来祷告会之前，其中一个老太太跟她说她要信主，问说牧师能来为她祷告吗。妈说自己年纪大了，记忆力不好，怕忘记跟我说而导致一个老人家失去得救的机会。她说因为看到这些老人家随时都可能去世，所以她很焦急，怕若她忘记告诉我，这位要信主的老人家也万一去世，那她该怎么办，她会充满后悔。。。

Actually, due to necessity, these few weeks mum has to move into the nursing home to stay for a month again. Soon after she moved in, she told me she was shocked to find out that a few old people she got to know in there had passed away…
And she was very concerned as to whether they did believe in the Lord and were saved, so she was very eager in spreading the Gospel again this time.

The reason she raised her hand to speak half way through the prayer meeting was because she wanted to tell me, just before she came to the meeting that night, an old lady told her she wanted to believe in Jesus, and asked whether mum could bring the pastor to come pray for her.
Mum said she herself is old and her memory is not good, what if she forgot to tell me and caused this old lady to lose her chance of salvation? She said because she noticed all these old people could pass away anytime, that was why she was so anxious in telling me for fear that she would forget and this old lady might just pass away too, and she would feel so terrible be full of regret…

 

听了她的解释，我也很感动，原来她是为别人的灵魂焦急。。。
我就安慰妈说，不要怕，其实当那老太太开口说她要信主时，她已经信了，上帝也看到了！
当然我们就马上安排带领这老人家信主。
我真有一个好妈妈，你说是吗？

After listening to her explanantion, I was very touched, she was actually anxious for someone’s soul…
So I comforted her and said: Do not fear, when this old lady said she wanted to believe in Jesus, she had already believed, and God saw that too!
But of course we immediately arranged to lead this old lady to receive Christ too.
I do really have a good mother, don’t you think so?

 

 

September 5, 2011

这是我大哥，阿仁，他大我十一岁。
你们看我们长得会像吗？
This is my eldest brother, Jin, he is older than me by eleven years.
Do you think we look alike?

 

教会的人对我大哥的印象应该会比较陌生，或觉得他比我文静很多，的确他比较少话。。。
Our church people may not be so familiar with my brother, or have the impression that he is lot quieter than me. Yes, in actual fact, he does not speak as much as I do…

 

但他其实也蛮有才华的，也可以很搞笑。。。
But actually he is also quite talented, and can be quite comical too…

 

去年庆祝妈妈生日时，大哥让我们大跌眼镜，我们看到他疯狂的一面！
他说他要为妈妈唱一首妈喜欢的老歌，因为他不会中文，所以需要看罗马拼音。。。
Last year when celebrating my mum’s birthday, he surprised all of us, we saw the crazy side of him!
He said he wanted to sing an oldie that mum likes, but because he does not read Chinese, so he had to look at the Romanized characters…

 

然后他越唱越起劲、越唱越投入。。。
As he sang, he got more and more into the song,  and was totally immersed in it…

 

当然逗得我妈妈非常开心，也逗得全场嘉宾哈哈大笑！
Of course he made my mum very happy, and made every guest laugh heartily as well!

 

感谢主大哥让生日会增添喜乐。。。
我真为我可爱的家庭感恩！
Thank God that my big brother really added to the joyous atmosphere of the birthday celebration…
I really give thanks for my wonderful family!