Day 35: 禁食日记 / Fasting Diary （突如其来的打击 / Sudden And Unexpected Blow)
第三十五天：11月6日(日)
今天早上我的心情极其沉重与难过，其实是从昨晚散会后开始。
散会时，庭辉说他要去医院紧急病房看国双。我就问发生了什么事，是不是禁食过度，因我知道国双也有禁食。
庭辉说据说是身体不太舒服，发冷，昨天淋到雨，人有一些感冒，但好像很严重。
庭辉还没离开教会，我就接到国双姐姐打来的电话，很急的叫我们祷告，说医生说很不乐观。我也很讶异，为什么感冒会这么严重？我也一直担心是禁食过度。听他姐姐的语气非常焦急，我就赶快召集一些弟兄姐妹一起赶去医院。
抵达医院，还在停车的时候，国双姐姐又打来哭着说不必去了，他已经走了。。。
主啊，怎么会呢？他还这么年轻，下午和昨天还好好的，我看到他这几天都来晨祷，都觉得很感动，特别注意他。。。去医院途中，我们一路上都不中断的祷告。。。
我们还是进去病房看，看到他哥哥国贵在他的床边；他也问我为什么会这样，我没有办法回答。我把手放在国双的肩膀，还是尝试为他祷告，他还是走了。。。
医生说查不出死因，需要解剖来看；但他们也说不是禁食的缘故，这至少让我有点安慰。。。
赶到他母亲的家，家人说都不敢跟妈妈透露真相，因为国双是妈妈最疼爱、最小的孩子，四十年来都一直留在妈妈身边照顾妈妈。可是妈妈已经察觉到，正在那边痛哭说她无法接受。。。
一个失去爱儿的母亲的心谁能体会？谁能安慰？我也只能紧抓住妈妈的手，抱着她，让她哭。。。
跟随我来的青少年也在说牧师不知该如何安慰这母亲，我没有办法，因为这种伤痛很深，什么属灵的话、安慰的话都无济于事，除非神恩膏你的嘴唇，有神的灵亲自充满与安慰这颗破碎的心。。。
主啊，求怜悯。。。
“主耶和华赐我受教者的舌头，使我知道怎样用言语扶助疲乏的人。主每早晨提醒，提醒我的耳朵，使我能听，像受教者一样。”
～ 以赛亚书 50:4 ～
Day 35 : Nov 6th (Sun)
This morning my heart was really heavy and sad, it actually started from last night after the meeting.
After the meeting, Jonathan said he wanted to go to the hospital’s emergency department to see Shuang. I asked him what had happened, was it because of over-fasting? Because I knew Shuang fasted with us too.
Jonathan said from what he heard, Shuang was not feeling well and felt very cold, he might have contracted some serious flu because he was caught in the rain yesterday.
Before Jonathan could leave, Shuang’s sister called me sounding very urgently asking us to pray for Shuang because the doctor said the situation was not very optimistic. I was very surprised, why would flu be so serious? I was also concerned that whether it was due to over-fasting. The sister sounded really anxious, so I gathered some brothers and sisters to go to the hospital with me.
Arriving at the hospital, while still looking for a park, the sister called again, she cried and asked me not to go anymore because he was gone…
O Lord, how could that be? He was still so young, and alive and well just this afternoon and yesterday when we saw him. I was also very touched to see him in the early morning prayer meeting the past few mornings, so I specially noticed him… and on the way to the hospital we were praying unceasingly…
We went into the emergency room and saw his other brother standing beside his bed. The brother also asked me why, I could not answer. I laid my hand on Shuang’s shoulder and attempted to pray for him still, but he still left…
The doctor said they do not know the cause of death and need to do a post mortem; but they did say too it was not due to fasting, that did comfort me a little…
We rushed to the house to visit the mother. The siblings said they could not bring themselves to tell the mother because Shaung was the youngest and had always been mommy’s boy, all these forty years he had been by the mother’s side to take care of her. But she already sensed it and was crying desperately saying she could not accept the fact…
Who could feel the heart of a mother who lost her beloved child? Who could comfort her? All I could do was to hold her hand tightly and hugged her to let her cry…
The young people who came with me were also wondering how I was going to comfort this mother. I could not, because this kind of pain is deep, whatever spiritual or comforting words are all useless unless God anoints your lips, and the Spirit of God Himself fills and comforts the broken heart…
O Lord, have mercy…
“The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught.”
~ Isaiah 50:4 ~