Tag Archive - 幽默篇,humourous story. 有趣照片,funny photos. 欧洲旅游

这凳子什么颜色? What colour is this stool?

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你们看看这凳子什么颜色?没经过“我训练”的人很可能会马上回答:黑色啦!那么明显!还需要问吗?
但有经过“我训练”的就可能会想:嗯,问这么明显的问题,答案肯定没那么简单!他葫芦里不知卖什么膏药?

What colour is this stool?
Those not “trained by me” would probably answer immediately: Black of course! Isn’t it very obvious? Why ask?!
But those “trained by me” would probably think: Hmm… asking such an obvious question, I’m sure the answer isn’t that simple! Wonder what trick is he pulling at this time?

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第一种人会有点太果断或自以为是,而第二种人又有点太复杂。。。
哎唷!那到底要怎样回答啊??哈哈!!
好啦,好啦,就直接告诉你们答案吧,这凳子是亮丽粉红色!

林义忠!你眼睛有没有问题啊???
再看清楚一点。。。这怎么会是亮丽粉红色呢??

The first type of people are kind of too decisive or assuming, and the second type are slightly too complicated…
My goodness! Then how to answer the question?? Haha!!
Alright, alright, let me tell you the answer directly, the stool is shocking pink in colour!

Hey GT! Are you sure your eyes are alright???
Look again… how can this possibly be shocking pink??

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是的!它真的是粉红色!
我们凡事不能只看外表,很多东西背后是有故事的。
至于这凳子怎么会是粉红色背后的故事,就等我下一篇再告诉你吧。。。

Yes! It is really pink in colour!
We must not judge everything from its appearance, many things have a story behind.
As for the story behind why this stool is pink in colour, I will tell you in my next article…

看到我,他惊慌失措! He panicked upon seeing me!

有没有那种感觉,有时候见到一个人,我们会惊慌失措,身体出现怪异小动作尽流露我们紧张的心情,然后IQ突然降低,开始语无伦次。。。?

有人说我常使人出现那种状况。。。不!不要误会!不是因为我魅力无法挡,或帅到让人不能有正常反应!你们也知道绝对不是那个原因!而真正原因是,唉!因为我“杀气”太重,让人有一股很“畏惧”的感觉。。。

朋友说我该检讨原因何在。。。后来多数结论把问题怪在我的浓眉上,还建议我把眉毛剃掉或修掉!但不行啊,很多时候不能用口或手时,我需要用到我的眉毛向同工或助理指示一些工作需要。。。

Ever had that feeling, sometimes when we see someone, we will start to panic and weird little actions from our body will betray our anxiety, then our IQ will suddenly drop and we become incoherent in our speech…?

Some people say I tend to cause people to become like that… No! Don’t misunderstand me! It is NOT because I am irresistibly charming or so stunningly good-looking to cause them to behave abnormally! You all would know that is definitely not the reason too! The true reason is, sigh! It is because of my “over-bearing fierceness”, and that gives them a kind of “respectful fear”…

Friends ask me to examine myself as to what the reason is… but most come into the conclusion that the culprit is my thick eye-brows and they suggest that I should shave off or at least trim my eye-brows! But I cannot do that because many times when I cannot use my mouth or hands, I need to use my eye-brows to instruct my staff and assistants what to do…

 

话说那天,初为人父的他要求我帮他儿子取名字,我也很努力的想和祷告,结果想了一个名字,被他拒绝了!原因是,他说有点像马来名。。。我也不能怪他,因为那毕竟是一个希伯来名,老实说我也不太确定如何发音。。。既然如此,我也忙,就说那他自己取名字好了。。。

要知道,我们的这些沟通都是透过他的组长,而不是跟我直接交流。。。组长也责备他说,牧师那么忙还那么认真帮你想了那么好的名字,你竟然拒绝!我想他也觉得很不好意思,但还是决定不要用我给的名字。。。

The story begins with the new dad asking me to help name his new born son. So I was very serious in thinking and praying for a name, and finally I came up with a name, but he rejected it! Reason being, he said it sounds like a Malay name… well, I can’t really blame him as it is a Hebrew name and honestly I am not very sure about the pronunciation too… Well, since he did not want and I was very busy too, so I asked him to think of another name himself…

You must know that all these were communicated through his leader, he did not talk to me personally… His leader kind of rebuked him saying: Our pastor is so busy and yet so kind to think of a name for your son and yet you rejected the name!
I think he felt quite bad about it too, but he still decided not to use the name…

礼拜天散会时,刚好我在大门口跟他碰个正着!我全然出于关心的问说结果孩子名字取了吗?
我看得出他很紧张,脸有点红,有点吞吞吐吐的说:取了,是妈妈取的。。。
然后他就说洋名叫 Zacchaeus (即圣经人物“撒该”的英文翻译。其实我也蛮喜欢这个名字)。。。然后,他就很认真的告诉我说 Zacchaeus 就是圣经里面那个爬上桑树要看耶稣的矮子。我感觉很有趣他需要告诉他的牧师撒该是谁,所以我就作弄他,向他鞠躬道谢说:谢谢你告诉我撒该是谁,谢谢!谢谢!

他顿时脸变得通红,觉得很不好意思。。。大夥儿也大笑一场。。。

回到家,我从 Facebook 收到他寄过来的简讯,他说:

“嗨!牧师。。。我觉得很不好意思因为刚才在教会对你说的话好像是侮辱了你的智慧!像你这种美貌与智慧并重的人,哪里可能会不知道Zacchaeus这 个名,我还真是多此一举去解释,真下衰。。。虽然你心胸宽大,一定不会为这种芝麻绿豆小事放在心上,但还是要跟你说一声不好意思~谢啦~”

我读了真的是笑出来了,太可爱了,哈哈!

Sunday, after service, I bumped into him at the door! With pure concern I asked him, so have you decided on your son’s name?
He seemed very nervous, somewhat blushing and stammering, he said: yes, already, my mother named the baby…
He proceeded to tell me it’s Zacchaeus (actually I kind of like this name too)… then he went on to tell me rather seriously that Zacchaeus was the name of that short guy who climbed up the sycamore tree to see Jesus. I was kind of amused that he should tell his pastor who Zacchaeus was, so I teased him by bowing my head and said: Thank you, thank you! Thanks for telling me who Zacchaeus was…

Immediately he turned red and felt very embarrassed… and everybody laughed…

When I reached home, I saw a message he left in my Facebook that read:
“Hi, Pastor… I feel very embarrassed that I was like insulting your intelligence just now at church! For someone like you with a combination of beauty and wisdom, why would you not know who Zacchaeus was! I was really doing the unnecessary to explain, so “sia-soi” (embarrasssing)… Though I know you have a big heart and you wouldn’t hold this against me, I must still apologize to you~ thanks~ ”

I really laughed when I read that, so very cute, haha!

 

Zacchaeus,欢迎来到这世界,你爸爸真的是很可爱!
Welcome to the world, Zacchaeus, you have a very cute daddy!

 

 

例外人,祖,有个秘密。。。 The Remnant Jaydon has a secret…

这是例外人,祖,很帅吧?
This is The Remnant Jaydon, very handsome, right?

但祖,有个你们很多,可能全部,都不知道的秘密。。。
But Jaydon has a secret that many of you or perhaps all, do not know…

他自己是不会告诉你们的。。。
He will not tell you guys himself…

哇!是什么秘密?你们都不知道吧?
Wow! What secret? You all do not know, right?

要不要我偷偷的告诉你。。。?
Want me to tell you secretly…?

跟这照片有关哦。。。嘻嘻嘻。。。
Has got something to do with this photo… hehehe…

但也要看大家是不是真的有兴趣想知道啦。。。如果少过三十个“”留言,就证明大家没什么兴趣,也显示祖人气太低,那我就不说了哦。。。
But that depends on how interested you really are to know… if less than 30 “people” leaving comments, that will show you guys are not so interested, and also Jaydon is not that popular after all, so I will not be revealing then…

高分贝拔刀相助。。。 High DB Koh giving a helping hand…

虽然我不是那么会唱歌,但因为出了十多张唱片,所以很多人就常叫我教他们唱歌。。。事实上,我哪会教人唱歌啊?
这次承蒙我集音乐才华、创作、表演、美貌等等于一身的伟大少团团长,高分贝高尊大人的帮忙,这些要学唱歌的人终于如愿以偿了!
Though I do not really sing that well, due to the fact that I have released ten or so albums, many people tend to ask me to teach them how to sing… the truth is, how would I know how to teach people to sing? But this time, with the help of my mighty Youth leader, Mr. High DB Geoff David Koh who has musical talents, composing and performing skills and beauty all rolled into one, many people’s dreams of learning how to sing will come true!

学唱歌是一个艰难过程,费时、费力、费精神,但高大团长却非常大方的愿意传授给大家正确歌唱技巧,还愿意让这艰难课程给拍下供你们在家方便参考与自己练习。。。
It is no easy feat to learn how to sing, it demands your time, energy and concentration, but our Mighty Youth leader is so willing to impart to you the right singing technique, and so willing to let this tough lesson be recorded for your easy reference and practice at home yourselves…

所以大家预备好没有?
So are you all ready?

首先要知道,唱歌嘴形最重要!嘴形对,声音才会出来,字正腔圆。。。所以请注意我的嘴形!
First, you must understand, to sing well, the shape of your mouth is most important! With the right shape of your mouth, then your voice can come out with perfect tone and diction…
So please watch the shape of my mouth!

来唱个 “Ahhh…”
Let’s sing an “Ahhh…”

现在 “Ohh…”
Now “Ohh…”

接下来 “Uuu…”
Next “Uuu…”

很好,最后来个 “Eee…”
Very good, finally give me an “Eee…”

大功告成!你们那么认真学,再累也开心。。。
Great achievement! As you are learning so seriously, I feel very happy even if it is very exhausting…

哈哈哈!高大团长,请不要生气我们拿你来消费哦。。。哪,下面这张你真的很帅內,头发很好看,哈哈。。。
Hahaha! Dear Mr. Mighty David, please don’t be mad at us for the fun… Here, look, below is a very handsome photo of yours indeed, very nice hairstyle, haha…

如果有一天。。。 If one day…

如果有一天什么?。。。没啦,总是被邀请,盛情难拒。。。
If one day what?… nothing really, just always being invited, hard to refuse…

常常从这样。。。
Always from such…

变成这样。。。
Becomes such…

还有这个。。。
And this…

无法控制。。。
Irresistible…

又很内疚。。。
But feeling very guilty…

却又非常享受。。。
But so enjoyable…

最后会不会,早知如此,何必当初。。。
In the end, will I be so full of regrets and cry why why why…

我真的太瘦了吗? Am I really too skinny?

你们个个都在说我变得太瘦了。。。真的吗?怎么会变瘦呢?我又不会魔术!
You guys are all saying I have become too skinny… is that true? How did I suddenly transform? I don’t know magic!

其实我每天都有吃,而且温哥华的朋友都招待大鱼大肉,怎么有可能瘦呢?
Actually I do eat everyday, and my Vancouver friends all treated me to big and sumptuous meals, so how can I be skinny?

我想是衣服给你们的错觉吧?
I think it must be the wrong impression my clothing has given you?

或者是相机太好了,会使人拍出来变瘦?又或者是时差影响我的睡眠所致?
Or may be my camera is too good making people look thin? Or due to my disrupted sleep caused by jet-lag?

但瘦或不瘦,健康就好,不是吗?反正我也没那么在乎我的身材,哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!
But skinny or otherwise, it’s ok as long as you are healthy, right? And afterall I don’t really care about my size and weight, hahahahahahaha!!!

啊~再过几天我回来时就真相大白了。。。
Ahh~ the truth shall be known in a few more days when I come back…

Angel 对我一见钟情! Angel fell in love with me at first sight!

今天到 Angel 家拜访,让我很意外,从没想过漂亮的她会对我一见钟情!
Visited Angel’s house today, I was very surprised, never thought such a pretty girl would fall in love with me at first sight!

是不是这件我刚买的衣服真的很适合我?她。。。还情不自禁的亲了我一下!让在场的人都很讶异!
Could it be that this newly bought shirt indeed suits me so well? She… even lost control and gave me a kiss which surprised everyone there!

如果你是我,你会如何反应?至于我,当然是感到很骄傲和高兴!
If you were me, how would you have reacted? As for me, of course I felt very proud and happy!

其实起初她看到我走进来时,她是有点害羞。。。可是再多看几眼,她就爱上我了,所以才会亲了我一下。。。
你们不相信啊?过程都被拍下来了!
好吧,给你们看相片吧!
Actually she was kind of shy when I walked in… but as she took a few more looks at me, she fell in love with me immediately, that is why she kissed me…
You don’t believe? The whole process was being photographed!
Alright, I’ll show you the photos now…

这就是 Angel,你看她是不是很漂亮?而且有点羞涩的表情。。。
This is Angel, isn’t she pretty? And she does look a little shy…

然后她又多看我几眼。。。
Then she took a few more looks at me…

我走过去坐在她身边,她就亲我了。。。
I went to sit beside her and she kissed me…

呃。。。你们以为我在讲谁啊?这是我冠霖姐的猫,她真的名叫 Angel。。。
Err… who did you think I was talking about? This is my sister, June’s (Guan Lin) cat and her name is really Angel…

时差啊,时差! Jet-lag, oh jet-lag!

时差啊时差,你让我日夜颠倒,该睡的时候不睡,不该睡的时候又想睡。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, you turn my night and day upside down, keep me awake when I should be sleeping but ask me to sleep when I am not supposed to be sleeping…

时差啊时差,你让我睡到下午三点起来,以为午餐已准备好,哪知该准备午餐的人还在她房间睡觉。我敲门叫醒她时,只听到她说:爱死!现在几点了?
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, you cause me to sleep till 3pm in the afternoon thinking lunch is already, not knowing the person supposed to be preparing lunch still sleeping in her room. When I knock on her door to wake her up, only to hear her say: oh my goodness! What time is it now?

时差啊时差,你让那些“瘦身狂”诬赖我“假装”迟醒为了不吃东西。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, you allow those “obsessive weight-losers” accuse me of getting up late on purpose so I do not have to eat…

时差啊时差,你让我礼拜六晚上翻来覆去,几乎凌晨四点了还睡不着,脑子一直焦虑早上又要早醒因有两堂主日聚会要分享;好不容易睡着了,两三个小时后又突然醒来就再也睡不着了。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, you cause me not to toss and turn on Saturday night till almost 4am and yet wide awake, thinking all the time that I have to share in two services in the morning; and when I finally fall asleep, I wake up about two or three hours later again suddenly and cannot get back to sleep again after that…

时差啊时差,不管怎样,我依然靠着神的力量,在台上精力充沛的分享完两堂的诗歌见证。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, no matter what, I will still depend on the strength of God to sing and share energetically for two services…

时差啊时差,再怎么样,很多灵魂还是得救了。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, no matter what, many souls are saved…

时差啊时差,你让我更明白什么叫超自然的力量。。。
Jet-lag oh jet-lag, you help me understand more the meaning of supernatural strength…

所以时差啊时差,还是谢谢你啦!
So jet-lag oh jet-lag, I still want to say thanks to you!