伤心、不如意时，我们有时候会想宁愿没有生在这世上，能死掉最好。。。
可是事实不能改变，我们已经生下来了，再怎么问为什么，再怎么抱怨也无济于事。。。当然更不能用死来解决，因为自杀绝对会带来更大的痛苦！

固然，这世界有伤痛及无法理喻或接受的事情，几乎每个都人可能经历过伤心事或很残酷的事实，甚至有些正在面对着。。。
所以，心里难免充满疑惑、困倦感，但这一切都无法改变过去和已发生过的事实。

When we are sad or troubled, sometimes we may think we would rather not to be born in this world, or it is better to just die…
But we cannot change the fact that we were already born here, so no matter how many why’s you ask or how you grumble is not going to change a thing… and of course we definitely cannot use death to solve the problem as committing suicide will definitely lead to a greater suffering!

Certainly this world has things that are painful and hard to accept, almost everyone has experienced some sort of hurting things or some very cruel realities, or may be some are currently facing such…
That is why our hearts unavoidably may be filled with doubts and weariness, but all these cannot change the past or what have been.

我们无法改变过去，却能够决定我们要拥有怎样的今天和未来。。。与其抱怨或离开神，倒不如清醒思想，也只有神真正能够帮助、改变及拯救我们。很多时候痛苦是存留在记忆中，是我们的思想把我们捆锁在痛苦里；所以我们需要在思想上努力的不断更新、改变与突破。

当我们不断吸收积极和正面的想法，负面和消沉的自然会减少。这会直接影响我们的心情和情绪。

We cannot change our past, but we can decide what kind of present and future we are going to have… Rather than complaining or leaving God, might as well think clearly to know that only God can truly help, change and rescue us. Many times the pain is in our memory, it is our thought that locks us in the suffering. So we need to diligently seek the renewal, transformation and breakthrough in our mind continually.

When we continually absorb positive and optimistic thoughts, negative and pessimistic ones will reduce naturally. This will directly affect our emotions and feelings.

其中一个我们可默想的正面思想，就是我那天鼓励表妹秀月的生日贺词，今天有感动也把它贴在这里与大家共勉之：

“你生在这个世上有很大的使命，你生在这个家庭有神的美意；不管我们如何来到这世上，不管我们喜欢不喜欢那原因、环境和遭遇，要牢记你是特别从天上被差派下来，为成就一项伟大任务；而那任务也只有你能完成，别人不能取代。。。”

灰心沮丧时，不妨思想耶稣的话吧，他也有心情难过的时候：

“我现在心里忧愁、我说甚么才好呢？父阿，救我脱离这时候；但我原是为这时候来的。父阿、愿你荣耀你的名。。。”
～ 约12：27－28 ～

所以，让我们不断朝着这方面思想，继续努力奔跑吧，要知道你是天上来的特务使者！

One of the positive thought we can meditate on is the birthday blessing I sent my cousin Dorcas the other day. I feel I should post it here today to share with you all too:

“You have a great mission to be born in this world. There is a beautiful plan of God for you to be born in this family. No matter how we came into this world, whether or not we like that reason, environment or circumstance, always remember you are specially sent from heaven to accomplish a great task; and you alone can complete that task, no one else can replace…”

When you are discouraged or depressed, take time to think on the words of Jesus, He also had moments when his heart was down:

写了一篇“昨夜又梦见了你”，导致好一些人很好奇这个“你”到底是谁。。。
好奇还没关系，只要不要自以为那个“你”是自己就好了，哈哈！
今天就来给你揭开这个谜。。。

Wrote the article “I dreamt of you again last night” and caused some to be very curious who that “you” is…
It is still alright to be curious as long as you do not start thinking that “you” is yourself, haha!
Today, I shall reveal the answer to you…

其实有一些人还挺厉害的，一猜就中！大概是看习惯了我写作的模式而开始抓得到我的思路吧。。。？
看来我需要寻找别的方式来吊人胃口了。。。

嗯。。。我所讲的“你”其实就是我童年长大的老家！

Actually some people are quite sharp, they guessed right immediately! Perhaps they are by now used to my style of writing, so can kind of capture my trend of thought…?
Looks like I have to seek for new methods to keep people in suspense now…

Hmm… the “you” I was referring to is really my childhood home which I grew up in!

虽然十三岁我就离开父母及老家，出来古晋求学，可是每当午夜梦回时，我梦见的依然是我这童年简陋的老木屋。。。
很多童年情景还会出现在梦里，爸爸还健在，妈妈还年轻。。。醒来时，总有一丝丝伤感。。。

Though I left my parents and my old home when I was thirteen to come out to study in Kuching, each time if I dreamt of my past, it would always be my childhood’s old wooden house…
Scenes of my childhood would reappear, dad still around, mum still young… and when I wake up, there is always this tinge of sadness…

我们家境比较贫穷，下雨天屋顶会漏水，家中没有厕所。。。
下面那一张就是我们的客厅，是华人新年装饰的最漂亮的时候；照片中的我是1998年从纽西兰回来过年的时候拍的。。。

We were quite poor, the roof would leak when it rained, and there was no toilet in the house…
The photo below shows our lounge in its best, decorated for Chinese New Year. That was me in 1998 coming home for Chinese New Year from New Zealand…

我纽西兰好友Jamie跟我一起回来过年，二哥背后的小门通往厨房和饭厅（看下图）。。。
我背后的墙就是我们一群孩子共用的房间，我很想念，很想念这个家。。。写着这文章时，眼角也有泪水。。。

My New Zealand good friend, Jamie came celebrate Chinese new Year with me, the door behind my 2nd brother leads to the kitchen and dining (see below)…
The wall behind me is the room that all of us, the kids shared. I really, really miss this house… even as I write this, there are tears in the corner of my eyes…

我大哥两个女儿，美清和美声。。。
看吧，我们连像样的窗都没有，我就是在这饭桌吃饭长大。。。有些人还以为我是富贵公子出身！
我非常遗憾没有拍到更多老家的照片。。。

My eldest brother’s daughters, Flora and Melody…
See, we did not even have proper windows, and that was the dining table where I had my meals and grew up with… and some people thought I came from a rich background!
I really regret not taking more pictures of my old house…

婴孩是大哥小儿子。
你隐约可看到厨房的屋顶，右边是爸妈的小房间，我们家就只两个房间。
看了照片，你大概就会体会我所写的这句：
“虽然表面上你并不美丽
却留给我许多美丽的回忆
没有你也不会有今天的自己”

The baby is my eldest brother’s youngest son.
You can vaguely see the kitchen roof here, to the right is my parents’ room, there were only two rooms in my house.
After seeing these pictures, you can perhaps appreciate my writing this:
“Though you do not possess outward beauty
You leave with me such beautiful memories
Without you I will not be who I am today”

多少梦里，我依然在这小路奔跑
多少夜里，这条小路引我回家。。。
后面被树叶遮盖的是我家的屋顶。

In so many dreams, I was still running on this small road
And in so many nights, this small road led me home…
You can see the roof of my house hidden among the trees.

我爱我的家，因为在这家里我找到爱。。。
它让我明白有爱可以不计较环境
它让我体会有爱就会有最美的回忆

I love my house because I found love there…
It taught me that with love the environment is not an issue
It made me realize where there is love, there will always be beautiful memories

昨夜我又梦见了你
这记忆始终挥之不去
醒来发现眼角一丝泪滴
黎明尚远却已无睡意

Last night I dreamt of you again
I cannot seem to shake off this memory
Awakened to find traces of tears in the corner of my eye
Dawn is still far but sleep eludes me

昨夜我又梦见了你
无法说出具体原因
已是那么遥远的过去
梦里为何却那么清晰

Last night I dreamt of you again
No concrete reasons I can explain
Those scenes from such distant past
Yet so clear and vivid in the dream

昨夜我又梦见了你
虽然表面上你并不美丽
却留给我许多美丽的回忆
没有你也不会有今天的自己

Last night I dreamt of you again
Though you do not possess outward beauty
You leave with me such beautiful memories
Without you I will not be who I am today

昨夜我又梦见了你
虽然你已消失无踪影
我也没办法再次见到你
却无法将你从记忆涂抹去

Last night I dreamt of you again
Though you have vanished without a trace
There is no way I can see you again
Still I cannot erase you from my memory

昨夜我又梦见了你
陪我度过多少风风雨雨
你让我明白有爱可以不计较环境
你让我体会有爱就会有最美的回忆

Last night I dreamt of you again
You accompanied me through tempest and rain
You have taught me with love the environment is not an issue
You have made me realize with love there will always be beautiful memories

**昨夜又梦见的“你”，到底是谁？你们说呢。。。？
我下一篇再揭开谜底吧，哈哈。。。
**Who is the “you” that I dreamt of again last night? Who do you think…?
I’ll reveal the answer to you in my next post, haha…