Tag Archive - 回忆往事,感人故事,盼望,上帝的怜悯

卧室的秘密。。。 Bedroom secrets…

卧室应该是每个人最隐私的地方吧?那你的卧室里又隐藏了什么秘密呢?又或你喜欢自己的卧室吗?为什么?
今天就来跟你分享卧室的秘密。。。那当然是我自己的房间啦,自己的“秘密”当然自己有权“泄露”,但别人的秘密,除非他们允许或不介意,要不然我们可不该随便透露哦!

Bedrooms must be the most private place for every individual. Are there any secrets hidden in your bedroom? Or do you like your bedroom at all? Why?
Today I am going to share some bedroom secrets with you… that of course is my own bedroom, anyone has the right to reveal his own “secrets”, but as for other people’s secrets, unless they allow it or they do not mind, otherwise we must not simply reveal!

 

我想每个人都会想拥有自己的卧室或房间吧?但不是每个人都有那个福分的,尤其是家庭成员多,又住在有限的空间里。。。
所以倘或你现在拥有自己的房间,就好好珍惜、感恩,以及善于使用吧。。。

从一个人的卧室大概可以看出一个人的个性、兴趣、习惯啦,等等。。。
房间的摆设、整齐、脏乱、收藏的东西等等,都可透露你的秘密。
若在没预警之下,有人要参观你的卧室,你会许可吗?当然基于很私人,或有贵重物件,或怕人弄脏等等,我们大可拒绝;但有些人不敢给人看房间的原因是因为太凌乱、肮脏、懒惰整理、或会破坏形象等等。。。若是如此,那就要自我检讨了!

I believe everyoe would love to have his own bedroom but not everyone is blessed with such, especially when you have a big family and live in places where space is limited…
So if right now  you do have your own room, you had better treasure it and be thankful and make the best use of it…

From a person’s bedroom you can kind of figure out his personality, interests, habits etc…
The decoration, tidiness, cleanliness, things collected etc could reveal your secrets.
If without prior notice someone wants to visit your bedroom, would you allow? Of course we can rightfully refuse for privacy reason, or there are valuables or for hygiene, etc; but dome people do not dare to show people their room because it is too messy, dirty, or they are too lazy to tidy their room or for fear of spoiling their reputation… if so, then we would have to examine ourselves!

 

至于我,我一向来都蛮为自己的卧室感自豪,不是如今罢了。。。我想因为我有整理床铺的习惯,也喜欢装饰房间的原因吧?
以前在纽西兰求学,朋友来访时也多数在自己房间聊天,因为客厅不是个人使用。
在纽西兰,我们都穿鞋子到房间里,起初很不习惯,久了也不觉得脏了!

As for me, all along I am quite proud of my own bedroom, not just now… Perhaps it is because I have the habit to make my my bed and I have always liked to decorate my room?
When I was studying in New Zealand, when friends visited, we mostly used the bedroom to chit chat too because the lounge was not for personal use.
In New Zealand we wore the shoes to the room, initially I was not used to that but after a while I did not feel it was that dirty afterall!

 

我喜欢把床放在窗门边,喜欢阳光照射进来的感觉,尤其是那边天气寒冷。。。
这是我最后一年,回国之前的房间,确实充满回忆。。。

I liked to put my bed next to the window, liked the feeling of the sun shining in especially when the climate there was cold…
This was my room in my final year before I came back to Malaysia…

 

当时喜欢粘东西在墙壁上当装饰,好像有点“超过”,哈哈!
芦苇是外面采回来的。。。
有没有注意到墙壁上的书法?那是爸爸在我出国前亲手写给我的勉励的话,那是不善于表达感情的他向我表达他的爱和关心,至今我还收藏着。。。

Used to like to stick things on the wall as decoration, kind fo a bit over-decorated, haha!
The reeds were cut from outside…
Did you notice the Chinese caligraphy on the wall? Those were written by my dad personally and given to me before I came to New Zealand to study, that was my non-expressive dad’s way of expressing his love for me, I kept the writings till this day…

 

墙上的装饰也会改变,因为久了也会腻。
以前很喜欢中国画,不说你不知,我的很多中国画是古晋Akimedia的董事之一Mr. Ng画的,他是我就读古晋市镇中学时最好的朋友。。。

The decor on the wall would change too, otherwise would be too boring after a while…
I used to like Chinese paintings a lot. You would never know if I do not say it, almost all my Chinese paintings were the work of one of the directors of Akimedia in Kuching, Mr. Ng. He was my best friend when I was studying at Kuching Town Secondary School…

 

我其中最快乐的时刻就是能在房间里自弹自唱,我可是一发不可收拾,一唱就可以唱几个小时,自己乐在其中,完全不理会隔壁房的是否已被折磨到吐血。。。
One of my happiest moments would be to play the guitar and sing by myself in my room. It would be hard to stop once I started and I could indulge myself for hours without considering whether my neighbour was already vomitting blood by such torture…

 

这是我在纽西兰第一间自己的房间,那时大学一年级。。。
你看那个发型。。。

This is my first personal bedroom in New Zealand, that was also my first year at university…
Look at that hairstyle…

 

在这里住几年,我选择最小的房间因为这样冬天比较不冷,我没钱买好的热气机。
后来房东也有改善房子。
我也是在这房间里写出我第一首和早期的创作,墙壁的中国画就是Mr. Ng画的,他真的很有才华!

I lived there for quite a few years, I chose the smallest room so it was not that cold in winter and I could not afford a good heater.
The landlord did improve on the house too later.
This was the room where I wrote my first and earliest songs. The Chinese paintings on the wall are all the work of Mr. Ng, he is really talented!

 

如今我的房间当然非常不一样了,我当然也非常喜欢,感谢上帝的赐福和恩典。。。
这就是我卧室的一点“小秘密”,对不起没什么惊天动地,你们很失望吧?哈哈。。。

Today my bedroom is of course very different and of course I love it very much, thank God for His blessing and grace…
These are some “little secrets” of my bedroom, sorry nothing very dramatic and shocking, guess you are very disappointed? Haha…

 

 

 

他痛苦的說:我不要死。。。(續) He said painfully: I don’t want to die… (Part 2)

我到医院了解状况,医生说因为他喝了杀虫剂,他的喉咙、气管和胃都烧坏了,不能再吃和喝东西,情况很糟糕,应该过不了今晚。
我走到他床边,他看到我,他很清醒,还能说话。我握住他的手,我说为什么要这样做?
他很激动的看着我,眼泪在眼眶打转,说:牧师,对不起,我不要死,我現在真的不要死了。。。耶稣会原谅我吗?

我为他祷告,求主赦免和怜悯,也求主彰显神迹。我午夜十一点左右离开,那时他还不能吃东西,本以为他那晚就会去世的。。。

神迹发生了!第二天早上医院传过来的消息说,他精神很好,而且竟然能够正常的吃和喝!但X光明明显示那是不可能的,因为喉咙、食道、一直到胃等等,真的都烧坏了!
我都很怀疑医生的诊断或有没有看错,医生却还是很肯定,只是没办法解释这现象。。。
他继续正常几天,我开始相信他会活下来。

第四天,院方来消息说。。。
他死了。
我很震惊!

据说,第三天下午他把母亲叫来医院,求母亲原谅,说他不是一个好儿子,没好好照顾及供应给母亲。
然后,听隔壁床的说,他那天晚上就一直轻轻的唱诗歌到凌晨,然后就很安静了。
隔壁的以为他因为累而睡着了,哪知护士来检查时,他已安然去世,没有痛苦、没有挣扎。。。
自己轻轻赞美敬拜主而离开这个世界,我想这是主给他的怜悯吧?我也相信是主亲自来把他接回天家了。

在丧礼的那一天,他母亲特别走过来告诉我他儿子说,虽然他很没用,但是这世界还有一个人爱他。他告诉他母亲说牧师爱他,每次都会抱他一下。。。
想到这里,我感到惭愧,这么容易的一个举动,有时候我都不太愿意给,可是这个小举动 却让他感受到世界还有人爱他。
然而,我也感恩我有顺服神在我心中的感动。。。

主啊,让我的心永远不要刚硬,让我时刻能体会你的心,而会甘心顺服你旨意。。。

I went to the hospital to understand the situation. The doctor said because he drank pesticide, his throat, trachea and stomach were all burnt and damaged, so he could not eat or drink anything anymore. The condition was very severe, the doctor predict he could not survive through that night.

I walked towards his bed. He looked at me, he was very alert and could still speak. I held his hand and asked why he did that.
He looked at me with much emotion, tears circling his eyes and said, “Pastor, I’m sorry, I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die now… Will Jesus forgive me?”

I prayed for him, for the Lord to forgive and have mercy on him, and also for God to manifest His miracle. I left at about eleven midnight, at that time he still could not eat anything. I thought he would pass away that night…

Miracle happened! News from the hospital the next morning said he was very alert mentally, and he could even eat and drink normally! But the X-ray report clearly stated that was not possible because his throat etc all the way to the stomach were all damaged! I really doubted the doctor’s conclusion or examination, the doctor was still very adamant though could not explain the phenomenon… He continued to be normal for the next few days. I began to believe that he was going to survive.

On the fourth day, report from the hospital…
He died.
I was very shocked!

I heard, in the afternoon on the third day, he called his mother to his side. He asked for forgiveness from his mother saying he was not a good son, that he did not take good care of and provide for her. Then, according to the patient next to his bed, that night he was singing songs of praise softly and continuosly till dawn, and he became very quiet.
His neighbour thought he must have grown tired and fell asleep, but when the nurse came around to check, he had passed away peacefully, no pain, no struggle…
Singing softly to the Lord till he left this world, guess that was God’s mercy for him? And I also believe it was the Lord Himself who came to bring him home.

On the day of the funeral, his mother came over specially to me and told me her son said, though he was useless, there was still someone who loved him in this world. He told his mother that his pastor loved him and would hug him everytime…
I felt ashamed as I think about this, such an easy act and sometimes I would be so unwilling to give. And yet this little act caused him to feel there was still someone who loved him in this world.
However, I did thank God I obeyed His prompting in my heart.

O Lord, may my heart never grow hard, may I feel Your heart every moment and willingly obey Your desire…

 

 

 

他痛苦的說:我不要死。。。 He said painfully: I don’t want to die…

 

都忘了是哪一年了,只记得那天下午我在教会排练圣诞节詩歌,电话响了。。。

另一端传来消息说他自杀了,问我能到医院吗?医生说沒救了,应该渡不过今晚。。。
我愣住了!脑海一片混乱!三天前不是还好好的吗?当时我不是才在办公室辅导他吗?怎么又去做傻事?

我无法马上抽身,只能晚上去看他,心中求主怜悯,彰显神迹让我还能见到他,跟他说话,或者让他神迹般活下去。。。

他,三十出头的单身汉,患有忧郁症,皆因以前迷信相信算命的妖言,苦等他“发财”的日子,结果一直没到,他崩溃了。

最初他来教会时,头发凌乱、衣物不整,身上还有一点难闻的味道。
看得出他愁绪万缕,也看得出他精神状况不好,更不需要猜就知道他一定没有朋友。

散会后上来被祷告时,我为他按手祷告,心中有感动给他一个拥抱,让他知道耶稣爱他,我也不拒绝他。。。
但。。。他的精神状态、样貌、还有身上的味道怎么办。。。?我还是顺服了心中的感动去抱他,而且以后为他祷告后,都会尽量抱他一下。

有一次他主动带着微笑跟我们说,以前别人是不可能看到他的笑容的;他开始对人生有一点盼望,虽然精神状况还在恢复当中。

家里不是每个人都信主,难免受不了他一个大好男人不去上班赚钱,所以时而会催逼他赶快去找工作。

他自杀前三天来见我就是说承受不了家里的压力了。
我继续鼓励他,也抓住他的手一起祷告,他也还能微笑跟我握手说谢谢。
我以为一切都正常了,可是突然间这消息。。。(待续)

I have forgotten which year it was, I can only remember I was practising some songs for Christmas that afternoon. The phone rang…

The other side conveyed me the news that he had committed suicide, they asked whether I could go to the hospital. The doctor said there was no hope and he would not survive through that night…
I was stunned! My mind was blank! Was he not alright just three days ago? Was I not counselling him then in my office? Why did he do this foolish thing again?

I could not leave immediately, I could only go at night. I prayed for God’s mercy that He would perform a miracle that I would still be able to see him and talk to him, or perhaps that he would live miraculously…

He was a single man of slightly more than thirty years old. He was suffering from depression, the result of superstitiously believing in some fortune-teller’s nonsense and waiting for the “day” he would strike gold but it never came and he had a breakdown.

When he first came to church, messy hair, shrivelled shirt, and some unpleasant body odour, you could tell he was full of worries, could also tell his mental condition was not so sound, and there was no need to guess that he had no friend.

After the service, he came up to be prayed for. I laid hand on him. There was a prompting in my heart to give him a hug to let him know Jesus loves him and that I do not reject him too… but… what with his not very sound mind, and appearance, and the smell…? Anyway, I obeyed my heart and gave him a hug and subsequently I would try my best to give him a hug each time after I had prayed for him.

Once, on his own initiative, with a smiling face he told us no one could ever see him smile before.
He began to have some hope for living though his mental condition was still in the process of getting better.

Not everyone at home was a Christian, inadvertently they could not stand a grown man not going out to work to earn some money.
So on and off they would push him to go look for a job.

Three days before he committed suicide he came to see me, telling me he could not handle the pressure from home.
I continued to encourage him and held his hand to pray with him. He could even shake my hand and smile and say thanks to me.
I thought everything would be alright, then suddenly the news came… ( To be continued…)