April 3, 2012

我一边开车，一边想着刚才她讲的那一番话，一阵鼻酸，我赶快抬头，不让眼泪流下来。。。
As I was driving, I thought about what she said just now, I had a sudden urge to cry, I quickly lifted up my head so my tears would not roll down…

 

 

通常都是她跟我说她头发长了、乱了。。。问我是否能带她去修剪整理，因她知道我常常都很忙。
可今天我自己心血来潮，自己安排带她去弄头发，去接她时，她很开心，但她竟然问说：是你自己想要带我去的吗？
唉，听她这样问，我也很惭愧，一定是我很少这样做。。。

Normally it is her who tells me that her hair has grown long and messy… and she will ask whether I could bring her to do her hair as she knows I am always very busy.
But today I myself had this sudden urge to bring her, so when I went to fetch her, she was very happy, but she asked me this as well: Are you bringing me on your own initiative?
Sigh, I felt ashamed upon hearing that, it must be so rare that I would do something like that for her…

 

 

就是在去理发的途中，她跟我聊了让我很心酸的话题。。。
她问我的意见，她应该被埋葬在哪里？在家乡林梦跟爸爸一起吗，还是在古晋比较方便。。。？
我有点错愕，因没心理准备。后来我跟她说，重要的是我们去哪里，不是埋葬在哪里；我说弟弟也埋在不同的地方，但爸爸和弟弟都在天堂在一起了。

她听了若有所思，仿佛忆起什么，然后很高兴和安心的说：是啊，你爸爸要离开的时候，我跟他说到天堂找我们的小儿子，你爸爸微微的笑了笑，就安然的离开了，我们一定会在天堂见的。。。
我知道她想念爸爸和弟弟了，弟弟已经去世33年，做母亲的始终还会思念自己的孩子。。。

It was during the journey to the hairdresser that she shared with me a topic that kind of made me feel like crying…
She asked my opinion as to where she should be buried? Whether in our hometown with my father, or in Kuching which is more convenient…?
I was kind of taken aback as I was not prepared for this topic. Then I told her the important thing is where we are going and not where we are buried, and I said my little brother was also buried at a different place but he is now in heaven with father.

She seemed to be thinking after hearing that as if she recalled something, then happily and feeling assured she said: You’re right, when your dad was about to leave, I told him to go look for our youngest son in heaven, your dad smiled at me and departed peacefully, we will surely meet in heaven…
I know she is missing dad and my little brother, my brother passed away 33 years ago, but a mother will certainly miss her own child..

 

 

头发做好了，送妈回去了。。。
一个人开车回家，想着跟妈的对话，眼眶满了泪水。。。
但我很感恩，因为妈妈不惧怕死亡，且充满盼望，认识神就有这个恩典。

Her hair was done, I sent her home…
Driving home alone in my car, I thought of the whole conversation with mum, tears welled up in my eyes…
But I am very thankful, for mum is not afraid of death, but is full of hope, that is the grace for knowing God.

 

我心里面也想，我应该给妈更多时间，与更主动带她出去做她喜欢的事。。。
只要能呼吸就要珍惜。。。

And I thought in my heart as well that I must give mum more time, and to have more initiative to take her out to do things she likes…
Treasure it while we can still breathe…

 

March 28, 2012

 

其实我并不完美主义，很多人对我误解了。。。
我也有很乱、很不整齐的时候。。。
有些事我好讨厌但我又不去处理，因为我不是完美主义。。。

譬如说，出门回来，我通常会感觉很累，我会把行李丢在地上，迟迟不去整理。。。
有时候，因为出门次数频繁，就干脆留到下一次出门再整理。。。
但看着没清理的行李日而继夜的在地上，我真的很讨厌；然而我却又不采取行动，因为我不是完美主义。。。

Actually I am not a perfectionist, many have misunderstood me…
I also have moments when things are very messy and untidy…
There are things that I hate and yet I do not do anything about them because I am not a perfectionist…

For example, after coming back from a trip, I would normally feel very tired, I would leave my luggage on the floor and delayed a long time to unpack…
Sometimes because I travel quite a lot, I would just leave it till my next trip…
But I do really hate seeing the luggage on the floor day after day, and yet I would not do anything about it because I am not a perfectionist…

 

 

另外，我也很讨厌看到桌子堆满文具、文件啦。。。
怎么文件、信函好像永无止境般处理不完？刚收拾好一些，又一大堆出现！
什么该丢、什么该留，有时候真的很烦，很累人！
结果桌子越来越满，越来越凌乱，我却没整理，因为我不是完美主义。。。

Then, I also hate seeing my desk covered with stationery, documents etc…
How come documents and letters seem never ending? Just when you have cleared some, a new lot appears again!
What should be thrown away, what should be kept, that can really frustrate and exhaust you too!
As a result, your desk gets filled up more and becomes messier by the minute, and yet I do not do anything about it because I am not a perfectionist…

 

 

然后，我又有超多的CD，当然很多是自己买的，也有好多是人送的。。。
有时候自己会“错买”，买到不是很好听或很喜欢的；别人送的更是有这问题，因为有些人根本都不知道我的音乐品味，所以送了我从来不听的CD，我收也不是，丢也不是，给人也不是。。。结果就越堆积越多。。。
看起来好乱、好累人，可是我又不整理，因为我不是完美主义。。。

Then, I really have many CDs, of course many I bought myself and a lot were given by others too…
Sometimes I could “wrongly” buy CDs that are not so nice or ones that I do not really like; those given by others are even more so because some people do not know my musical taste at all, so they gave me CDs that I would never listen to, and I do not know whether to keep, to throw or to give away… in the end I collected more and more…
They look really messy and frustrating and yet I do not tidy them up, because I am not a perfectionist…

 

 

很多时候看累了，就选择逃避，把橱子的门关起来。。。
或者把文件丢进抽屉里面。。。
或者把行李推进衣橱里面。。。
避而不见，这样比较快乐。。。还能忍受，因为我不是完美主义。。。

Many times when I get tired of seeing them, I would choose to escape, I would shut the cupboard door…
Or throw all the documents into my drawer…
Or push my luggage into my wardrobe…
I avoid seeing them, life is happier that way… I can still stand because I am not a perfectionist…

 

 

话虽如此，有时候我却睡不着觉了。。。
有时候也会感到挫折沮丧。。。
想着还没解决的事情，橱子表面美观，里头却很凌乱！
问题存在就是要处理，逃避归逃避，最后还是要整理。。。
而且，我想，我还是有一点完美主义吧。。。

Having said all that, sometimes I cannot sleep…
Sometimes I can feel defeated and depressed…
Thinking about my unsettled issues, the cabinet looks nice on the outside, but what a mess inside!
Whenever a problem exists, it has to be dealt with, you can ignore and escape, ultimately you still have to tidy it…
And also I think, perhaps I might just be a little perfectionist…

 

 

 

September 6, 2011

有时候有一些事情若隐若现，看得不是很清楚，我们最好不要随便下判断。。。而往往人又会偏向负面的想法！
最糟糕的是，本来高尚的事情被疑心重的人错解为恶劣行为，结果污蔑了一些好品德的人的名誉。。。

Sometimes certain pictures seem unclear or blurred, and we cannot see very clearly, then we had better not simply jump to our own conclusion… but somehow human beings tend to be more inclined to conclude negatively!
What is worse, an originally noble act can be misinterpreted by some suspicious people as something horrible, and consequently tarnishing the good reputation of some noble people…

 

 

 

中文有一句谚语：
“以小人之心度君子之腹”意思为：用卑劣的心意去猜测品行高尚的人。
对我们大家都是很好的提醒！

There is a Chinese proverb that says:
“To gauge the heart of a gentleman with one’s own mean measure” meaning: Judging unfairly a noble person with own despicable mind.
This is a very good reminder for all of us!

 

 

 

 

话说有一次，有一对父女，因为形象与品德良好，被邀请上台为“抽奖游戏”抽奖。。。箱子里面有上千张写着来宾的名字的小纸张，抽到谁的名字，谁就得奖。。。
气氛都很好很快乐，很多礼物分出去。。。

There was once, a father and daughter, because of their noble characters and good image, were invited on stage for a “prize-draw” programme… There were more than a thousand slips of paper with all the guests’ names on them, the guests would win a prize if their name was drawn out…
The atmosphere was good and happy, many gifts were given away…

 

 

 

可是事情却节外生枝。。。
节目进行到一半，有些宾客当场很生气的走掉，还散播了一些他们以为是事实的谣言，重重的破坏了这对父女的名誉！

But an unnecessary episode happened…
While the programme was in  progress, some guests got up and left angrily, and spread some rumour which they thought was the truth, and severely damaged the reputation of this pair of father and daughter!

 

原来这些宾客看到一些画面，而随便下判断而污蔑了这父女的形象。。。
在抽奖时，父女有几次抽到自己或家人的名单。。。父女俩看了，打个眼色，笑笑，不当一回事就把名单又丢回去箱子里，因为觉得不好意思，也想把礼物让给别人。可是因为礼物很多，抽了很多次，后面还是抽到自己的家人的名字；主持人知道了，就在台上小声对他们说：我看上帝真的要赐福你们吧，就领受你的祝福吧！

所以父女才接受。结果有“小人之心”的宾客就散播谣言说，这对父女抽到别人的名字就把名单丢回去，抽到自己名字就报告出来为让自己得奖！这却是恰恰与事实相反！

The fact was these guests saw some scenes and they simply jumped to their own judgement and damaged the reputation of the father and daughter…
During the drawing out of names, the father and daughter team found that the names they drew out were their own name or their family members’… When they saw that, they signalled to each other and smiled and threw the names back into the box without thinking much of it as they thought it was not very nice to take the prize themselves and they had better give others a chance.
But because there were a lot of prizes to be given away, after a while, incidentally they still drew out their family members’ names. When the MC saw that, he said softly to them on stage: Well, I guess God really wants to bless you, just receive the blessing!

Only then, the father and daughter accepted. However, those guests with a “mean thought” spread the rumour and said the father and daughter threw back other people’s names but announced own names to receive the prizes! That was completely the opposite!

 

所以我说：
人啊！人啊！不知道真相就不要乱讲话啊！
你眼睛所看到的未必是事实，而你心里所想的为什么一定要是诡诈的呢？

So I say:
O people! Do not simply speak when you do not know the truth!
What you see with your eyes may not be the truth, and why must the thought in your heart be something wicked?