Tag Archive - 幽默篇,humourous story

大熱門高偉宏沒進入決賽??? Hot favourite David Koh not in the final???

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可靠消息称,大热门“琴与炉”的作者高大团长,被亲切称为“红哥”的高伟宏,,少年人最爱最支持的高大团长,没有进入决赛!!!
这消息可靠吗?据说他是被迫退赛的其中一名!被迫退赛的原因很简单,怕他太红,威胁了主办单位幕后老板的地位!
这幕后老板又是谁,抱歉这不方便透露。。。

Reliable sources say the hot favourite, writer of “The harp and the censer” mighty leader Koh, dearly called Brother Red, the most loved and supported leader of the youths is not in the final!!!
Is this information reliable? According to the source, he is Koh is said to be one of the two forced to withdraw from the competition! The reason is simple, for fear that he might become too “red” (popular) thus threatening the position of the boss behind this competition!
As for who this boss behind the scene is, sorry it is not convenient to reveal…

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记者有企图联络红哥要证实此惊人消息,但他手机没开,他两个女儿高宁和高静也拒绝回答任何问题。。。
我们怀疑很可能他伤心过度避谈此事,或者被下令封口!

Our reporter attempted to contact Brother Red to confirm this shocking news but his mobile phone is not on and both his daughters, Laetitia and Trixie refused to answer any question too…
We suspect he must be devastated by this and avoid talking about this topic or he has been ordered to shut his mouth!

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另,也有消息指,另一名被迫退赛的准决赛选手是志恒,外号“恨你脏”,原因是他长得太像周星驰和林志颖的混合体,若他进入决赛会模糊焦点!
但记者不敢联络恨你脏,因他不喜欢接电话,怕被他骂。。。我们会从他女儿绿卡那边探听消息~

Besides, there is another news saying the other confirmed finalist being forced to withdraw is Henry Chong, nicknamed iGeek, reason being he really resembles the mix of Stephen Chow and Jeremy Lin Zhi Ying, if he is in, he will become a major distraction of the competition!
Our reporter dared not call him for fear that we might get scolded as he does not like to answer calls… but we will try to extract information from his daughter, Ricca~

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这次比赛真是一波未平一波又起,太多流言和假设。。。
或者难道赛事未比赛已有结果?
难道写“我们唱得很大声”的那个”饥民“是内定冠军?

This competition really suffers onslaught after onslaught, so many rumours and assumptions…
Or perhaps the competition results are already know before the competition even starts?
Or may be they have already fixed the guy who wrote “We sing loud”, Skinny Meng as the champion?

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这一大堆负面消息会不会影响收视率?少年人会不会全体杯葛这场大决赛?
一连续突发事件让主办单位措手不及,还是他们一手促成???
放心,我们会步步追踪,一有最新消息就会毫无保留报给大家听!
请锁定www.gtlim.com,最可靠消息来自这里,请勿听信其它没证实消息和来源!

Would all these negative news affect the rating of the programme? Would the youths boycott the final altogether?
This series of sudden incidences have taken the organizers by surprise or did they mastermind all this themselves???
Do not worry, we would pursue every clue and evidence, when we have the information, we will report unreservedly to you all!
Please stay logged into www.gtlim.com, the most reliable source comes from here, do not listen to other unsubstantiated news or sources!

超级搞怪!真受不了!! Super crazy! Can’t stand him!!

这是我们的苹果仙人,阿恒,说他是古晋周星驰,一点都不为过。。。
你看他那一副脸,都不知道葫芦里卖什么膏药!

This is our Apple Genie, Hen, to say he is the Stephen Chow of Kuching is really not over-exaggerating…
Look at that face, wonder what he is thinking in his mind!

 

 

整个月大家都在练跑时他都没出现,突然间最后一两天他放消息说,他已经练好怎样抓住对手的脚,让他们没有办法跑。。。
专门想出古古怪怪的主意!
你看他跑哪个方向。。。

The whole month when everyone was training hard for the race, he did not appear. Then suddenly on the last two days, he released news that he had already trained well to hold on tightly to the other runners’ legs so they could not run…
Always very good at coming up with crazy ideas!
Look at which direction he was running…

 

 

然后“砰”一声!
你看!真让人受不了!
看了大家都会笑,哪还有力气跑?好狡猾!哈哈哈哈!!!

Then “bang” it went!
Look at him! Really can’t stand him!
Everyone would laugh and who could still have the strength to run? Very cunning! Hahahaha!!!

 

他们是飞鹰队,口号是“We are Eagles WIN! You are chicken wings!!”
主题歌是:teng teng teng teng teng…..

Their team is called “The Eagles” and their slogan is “We are Eagles WIN! You are chicken wings!!”
Their theme song is: teng teng teng teng teng….

 

这是他们的组长YB志扬,一样搞笑!
This is their leader YB Chee Yong, real funny guy too!

 

隐藏才华被发掘。。。 Hidden talent explored…

话说,环境可以改变一个人,也可以激发人的潜能。。。
那天,在吉隆坡廉航飞机场,这话应验在我身上了!
又有谁会想到我竟然是灭蝇高手?若不露两下子,也不会被注意到吧?

It was said, environment can transform a person, and it can also motivate your hidden talent…
That day, at KL LCCT, this came to pass on me!
Who would have thought I am actually a talented fly-terminator? If I did not show them, I would never have been noticed…

 

 

那天因有几个小时等飞回古晋的飞机,就到饮食店买咖啡喝。。。
无法想象在这么重要及游客众多的场所,竟然苍蝇满满盖著餐桌!
起初我们只是挥手把苍蝇吓走,可它们一下子又飞回来。。。我看不下去了!
我真服了一些人,包括我的同伴们,那么轻易就适应与接纳一群讨厌的伙伴围绕你,飞来飞去。。。

店里也没什么灭蝇器具,我就吩咐少年人去问员工有没有灭蝇拍之类的东西,他说没有。。。
我就吩咐彬彬去买一份报纸,我要把它卷成“棍子形”当苍蝇拍!
结果。。。请看我的成就!在短短的不到二十分钟内。。。
我用的报纸是南洋商报。。。

That day, because we had a few hours to wait for our flight back to Kuching, we went to the shop for some coffee…
Hard to imagine such an important and tourists frequented place could have so many flies covering the tables!
Initially, we only waved our hands to scare the flies away, but they soon returned again… and I could not stand it!
I was amazed at how easily other people, including my companions so easily adjusted and accepted such unwanted company swarming around you…

There was no fly-traps in the shop, I asked my youth to go ask the staff for some fly swat or whatever, he came back empty-handed…
So I asked Jonas to go buy some newspaper which I was going to roll into a “stick” that I could use as a fly swat!
The result… please see my achievement! Within a short period of less than 20 minutes…
I used Nanyang Daily…

 

 

别人以为我是太闲空,无聊到“打苍蝇”。。。我才不是!我是为民除害!
有些人可能觉得我在杀生,很残忍。。。可知苍蝇是多么的肮脏及疾病带菌者,无法想象为何要保护苍蝇。。。

接下来,对于那些有意参与为民除害行动的,我也不吝向你们传授一些灭蝇技巧。。。
仔细观察以下图片,也请注意眼神和身体姿势,那些是很重要的。。。

Some think I am too free, or too bored till I “killed flies”… I was not, ok?! I was doing the community some good!
Some may think I am very cruel for killing innocent lives… but do you know how dirty flies are and they are disease-carriers? Can’t imagine why flies ought to be protected…

Next, for those who are interested in doing the community some good, I will be generous in sharing my fly-terminating technique…
Observe the following pictures carefully, and please also take note of my stare and body posture, those are crucial…

 

第一步:买一份南洋商报,卷成棍子形状,寻找目标。。。
Step 1: Buy yourself Nanyang Daily, roll into shape, look for your target…

 

第二步:锁定目标,眼神要狠,不可心软。。。
Step 2: Aim at your target, stare fiercely, do not soften your heart…

 

第三步:用力挥下去,但力度要对,要留完整尸体。。。衣服也尽量不要太短,免得曝露太多不雅。。。
(与Megan Fox在”Transformers”清理她单车雷同的姿势完全是碰巧,绝无模仿或抄袭。。。)

Step 3: Hit with much strength, but must be the right strength as we must leave the corpse intact… make sure your shirt is not too short or it is unsightly to over-expose yourself…
(The similar posture with Megan Fox cleaning her motorbike in “Transformers” is purely coincidental, definitely no imitation or copying…)

 

刚刚说到力度要对,要保留完尸是有原因的。。。
因为环境又激发起另一种隐藏的才华,即,阿兆的特别艺术:死苍蝇设计

We mentioned that the strength must be right to preserve an intact corpse is with a purpose…
Because the environment has motivated yet another hidden talent, i.e. Zhao’s special art: Design of dead flies

 

因这整个感人事件是发生在亚航廉航机场,所以为了纪念,阿兆把死苍蝇设计成亚航的口号字眼“FLY”。。。即,“Now everyone can FLY”的意思,很创意吧?
苍蝇英文单字也是“FLY”,希望亚航也会解决苍蝇为患问题。。。

Because this entire touching incident happened at Air Asia’s LCCT, so in remembrance, Zhao designed the dead flies into the word “FLY” taken form Airasia’s slogan “Now everyone can FLY”, very creative, right?
And hopefully Airasia will also do something about the FLY-infestation…

那就叫 “perasan”。。。 Now that is called “perasan”…

记得有一次在洗礼课,我跟新信徒分享有关我喉咙出状况的见证。我提到我已经很难过与困惑我的喉咙严重失声许久,也无法再持续唱歌。我告诉他们上帝很怜悯我,因为就在那个时候他派一位牧师介绍我医治喉咙的秘方,即把鼠尾草煲成又苦又浓的汁用以每天漱口或喝下去。但我说那位是新加坡的牧师,回到古晋我不知在哪里找鼠尾草。

洗礼课程结束时,有一位阿姨就兴致勃勃上来问我鼠尾草怎么写,她说她要去找。。。我听了很感动因为她只不过是一位新信徒,竟然已经会想到要祝福牧师!
正当我望着她,等她继续说更感动的话时,她说:牧师,谢谢你的分享!我要去找这鼠尾草,因为我的喉咙也是已经沙哑很久了,我要试试看能医好我的喉咙吗。。。

说完就走掉了。。。我楞在那里,幸好我还没跟她说谢谢,要不然那可糗了。。。

那就叫“perasan”…

I remember once in the baptismal class, I was sharing with the new believers my testimony regarding my throat and vocal condition. I mentioned I was very desperate and perplexed as I had lost my voice for a long time and I could not carry on singing anymore. I told them God was very merciful to me because just at the right time He sent a pastor to introduce a cure for my throat, that is to boil the herb sage into very thick and bitter juice and use it to gargle or drink it each day. But I said that was a Singaporean pastor so I did not know where to look for sage in Kuching.

After the class had ended, an aunty very excitedly came forward to ask me the writing of sage in Chinese, she said she would go and look for it… I was so touched as I listened to her since she was only a new Christian and already she was thinking of blessing the pastor!
As I looked at her waiting for her to say some more touching words, she said: Pastor, thanks for sharing this, I’m going to look for this sage because my throat has been very bad for a while, I want to see whether this sage can really cure my condition…

And she turned to leave after saying that… I was stunned for a while there, just as well I had not said “thank you” to her, otherwise that would have been so embarrassing…

Now that is called “perasan”…

例外人,祖,有个秘密。。。 The Remnant Jaydon has a secret…

这是例外人,祖,很帅吧?
This is The Remnant Jaydon, very handsome, right?

但祖,有个你们很多,可能全部,都不知道的秘密。。。
But Jaydon has a secret that many of you or perhaps all, do not know…

他自己是不会告诉你们的。。。
He will not tell you guys himself…

哇!是什么秘密?你们都不知道吧?
Wow! What secret? You all do not know, right?

要不要我偷偷的告诉你。。。?
Want me to tell you secretly…?

跟这照片有关哦。。。嘻嘻嘻。。。
Has got something to do with this photo… hehehe…

但也要看大家是不是真的有兴趣想知道啦。。。如果少过三十个“”留言,就证明大家没什么兴趣,也显示祖人气太低,那我就不说了哦。。。
But that depends on how interested you really are to know… if less than 30 “people” leaving comments, that will show you guys are not so interested, and also Jaydon is not that popular after all, so I will not be revealing then…

高分贝拔刀相助。。。 High DB Koh giving a helping hand…

虽然我不是那么会唱歌,但因为出了十多张唱片,所以很多人就常叫我教他们唱歌。。。事实上,我哪会教人唱歌啊?
这次承蒙我集音乐才华、创作、表演、美貌等等于一身的伟大少团团长,高分贝高尊大人的帮忙,这些要学唱歌的人终于如愿以偿了!
Though I do not really sing that well, due to the fact that I have released ten or so albums, many people tend to ask me to teach them how to sing… the truth is, how would I know how to teach people to sing? But this time, with the help of my mighty Youth leader, Mr. High DB Geoff David Koh who has musical talents, composing and performing skills and beauty all rolled into one, many people’s dreams of learning how to sing will come true!

学唱歌是一个艰难过程,费时、费力、费精神,但高大团长却非常大方的愿意传授给大家正确歌唱技巧,还愿意让这艰难课程给拍下供你们在家方便参考与自己练习。。。
It is no easy feat to learn how to sing, it demands your time, energy and concentration, but our Mighty Youth leader is so willing to impart to you the right singing technique, and so willing to let this tough lesson be recorded for your easy reference and practice at home yourselves…

所以大家预备好没有?
So are you all ready?

首先要知道,唱歌嘴形最重要!嘴形对,声音才会出来,字正腔圆。。。所以请注意我的嘴形!
First, you must understand, to sing well, the shape of your mouth is most important! With the right shape of your mouth, then your voice can come out with perfect tone and diction…
So please watch the shape of my mouth!

来唱个 “Ahhh…”
Let’s sing an “Ahhh…”

现在 “Ohh…”
Now “Ohh…”

接下来 “Uuu…”
Next “Uuu…”

很好,最后来个 “Eee…”
Very good, finally give me an “Eee…”

大功告成!你们那么认真学,再累也开心。。。
Great achievement! As you are learning so seriously, I feel very happy even if it is very exhausting…

哈哈哈!高大团长,请不要生气我们拿你来消费哦。。。哪,下面这张你真的很帅內,头发很好看,哈哈。。。
Hahaha! Dear Mr. Mighty David, please don’t be mad at us for the fun… Here, look, below is a very handsome photo of yours indeed, very nice hairstyle, haha…

还记得祖去年的生日故事吗? Remember Jaydon’s birthday story last year?

不知不觉又是十月16日,一年又过去了,又是祖的生日!去年他在新加坡,以下是去年登过的祖生日惊喜的故事,让你们“重温”我伟大的爱,哈哈!
但今年他人在台湾了,我又为他做什么呢?。。。你们可以问他啊,哈哈!!

Before you realized, it is Oct 16th again, one year has passed and it is Jaydon’s birthday again! He was in Singapore last year, the following is the story I published last year concerning his birthday surprise so you can “recollect” how great my love is, haha!
But now he is in Taiwan, and what did I do for him this time?… well, you can always ask him, haha!


去年的故事。。。(炒冷饭,哈哈!)/  Last year’s story… (eating leftover, haha!)

最近因太忙碌,加上英语说的” out of sight,out of mind ” ( 简翻:没在这里,就忘记你 ),所以差一点把祖的生日给忘了。。。一直到生日前两天才惊觉什么都没给他计划或准备!

一下子也想不出该送他什么,就想既然最近很多廉价机票,可能我该飞去新加坡一天再回来,给他一个惊喜。。。

同工晓薇非常鼓励我去(可能牧师没在比较没压力),就决定买祖生日当天16日的机票飞过去。。。

我就事先联络新加坡另一个也跟我一样疯的牧师帮我调查祖那天的行踪和活动,千交待、万交待不许让任何人知道我要过来,因多一个人知道,就多一个秘密泄露的机会。。。我不想白费心机和飞机票的钱。。。

古晋方面就只有我的同工晓薇知道,她绝对不会泄露秘密因为她珍惜生命;另一个人是例外人田圣,是他送我去机场,他也绝对不会泄露秘密,因为他是一个很懒惰开口的人。。。

抵达新加坡已是晚上8点15分,我的疯狂好友李牧师,已在机场等我,一副007很专业的样子告诉我已查到祖的行踪。。。他跟一些朋友在某咖啡厅庆祝,我们就开车前往。。。

从咖啡厅外面我已清楚看到祖跟朋友们有说有笑。。。很好,一切都照着剧本跑。。。

祖就坐在柜台前的位子,面向柜台。。。我装作平凡顾客很自然的走向柜台跟招待员说话。。。祖觉得这人背影怎么那么像他的牧师,就一直注视着我看;他终于受不了就走到柜台我旁边要看个清楚,他突然间大喊:牧师!你怎么会在这里?!

跟 我讲话的招待员都吓得跳起来,哈哈!我却无动于衷,以一口美国腔英语很冷静的对他说:Excuse me, do I know you? I think you must have mistaken me for someone… (译: 对不起,我认识你吗?我看你认错人了。。。)

可是当然祖很确定就是我,就不放过我说:牧师,不要闹了!你怎么会在这里?!

此时我突然间唱:祝你生日快乐~。。。

因为那一整天我都没联络他,故意不给他简讯祝贺等,所以他突然紧紧的抱着我说:我以为你已经忘记我的生日了。。。说罢就哭了起来!我的肩膀都被他眼泪滴湿了。。。

是不是很感动?

啊!算了吧!那是原本的剧本!事实是有些人就是不会跟着剧本跑!!!所以那根本都不是祖的反应!!!

那祖真正的反应又是什么?

Because I have been very busy recently, plus “out of sight, out of mind”, so I almost forgot about Jaydon’s birthday… until two days before then I realised I hadn’t prepared or planned anything for him!

All of a sudden I couldn’t think of what to give him as a present, so I thought since there are so many budget air tickets nowadays, perhaps I should just fly over to Singapore for a day to surprise him…

My staff, Xiao Wei greatly encouraged me to do so ( may be less pressure if pastor isn’t around ), so I decided to buy the ticket for the 16th, Jaydon’s actual birthday to fly over…

I contacted a Singaporean pastor who is as crazy as me to help me track down Jaydon’s whereabout and activities that day, reminding him millions of times not to let anyone know I was coming, because an additional person knowing means additional risk of secret being leaked… I don’t wish to waste my effort and air tickets money…

In Kuching, only my staff, Xiao Wei knew, she would never leak it to anyone as she treasures her life; another person who knew was Remnant Daniel, he sent me to the airport, he would definitely keep the secret too ‘cos he is a person just too lazy to open his mouth…

I arrived at Singapore at about 8:15pm, my crazy good friend, Pastor Lee was already at the airport waiting for me, looking like a very pro James Bond, he told me he had tracked down Jaydon’s whereabout… he was celebrating with a few friends in a coffee bar, so we drove towards there…

From outside the coffee bar I could see Jaydon clearly, talking and laughing with his friends… very good, everything went according to our script…

Jaydon was sitting right in front of the counter, facing the counter… I acted like a normal customer walking very naturally to the counter to talk to the waiter… Jaydon noticed this person’s back somehow seemed so similar to his pastor’s, so he kept staring at me; finally he couldn’t resist it so he came towards me to have a good look, and he suddenly exclaimed very loudly: Pastor! Why are you here?!

The waiter talking to me jumped with fright, haha! But I was indifferent, and said to him calmly with American accent: Excuse me, do I know you? I think you must have mistaken me for someone else…

But of course Jaydon was very certain it was me, so he didn’t retreat and said: Come on, pastor, stop pretending! Why are you here?!

At that moment, I suddenly sang: Happy birthday to you~…

Because that whole day I did not contact him at all, and I purposely did not send him any greeting etc, so he suddenly held me very tightly and said: I thought you have forgotten it’s my birthday today… at that he broke down and cried and wet my shoulders…

Isn’t that very touching?

Arrgh! Forget it! That was supposed to be the original script! The truth is, some people just won’t follow the script!!! So that was not Jaydon’s reaction at all!!!

Then what was Jaydon’s actual reaction?

“从咖啡厅外面我已清楚看到祖跟朋友们有说有笑。。。很好,一切都照着剧本跑。。。祖就坐在柜台前的位子,面向柜台。。。我装作平凡顾客很自然的走向柜台跟招待员说话。。。”。。。这一切都是真的!

过后祖就没照剧本跑了!就从这里说起吧。。。

我心里超紧张,心跳加速,因为我就站在他眼前,可是还好他还没看上来,我还有戏要演。。。

可 是我却注意到一件事情,祖的朋友都看见我了,他们也认识我,可是竟然没有一个有惊讶的眼神!后来才知道除了祖之外,他们都知道我会来!!!天啊, 不是说好不能让人知道的吗?007李牧师解释说一定要让其中一位知道才能知道他们在哪里啊。。。但他说那一位答应说绝不会让其他人知道的,后来其他人告诉 我他都让他们知道了!!唉,人啊。。。

没关系,至少祖还不知道!我就继续演。。。站在柜台前,招待员问我要什么,我也没回答,因一直专注从镜子的倒影看祖的反应。。。

他看上来了!又看下去继续跟朋友聊天。。。又看上来了!又看下去跟朋友聊天了!!

招待员又问了:先生,请问我能帮你吗?

我:嗯。。。我要喝咖啡。。。

招待员:要带走吗,还是在这里喝?

我:嗯。。。这里,这里。。。

招待员:那请你找个位子坐下来好吗?

我就在祖面前摇摇摆摆一下,还是没看上来!我开始有点火了。。。

但专业演员不能让心情影响演技,我还要好好演下去。。。就走到祖右边的桌子面向他坐下来。。。他还是没看过来!

我想了想,没办法了,一定要临时改写剧本!还好我们临场经验很足,就发了一则简讯给他说:“我们教会某个弟兄说现在在咖啡厅看到你,我想你可能会认识他,请朝你右边看。。。”

简讯发了,我为我的随机应变献上感恩!新的剧本让我又开始紧张起来了。。。我就拿了菜单遮住我一半的脸孔,好让他看过来时很好奇菜单遮住的是谁的脸孔。。。是不是觉得我很会制造气氛?

我的手越来越酸了。。。至少五分钟都过去了,招待员都不理我了,我还在等祖的反应。。。
终于受不了了,把菜单放下,他还在跟朋友有说有笑!因为他的电话”silent mode” (静音),不知道有简讯进来!我真气炸了!

但你们都知道我就像打不死的蟑螂,再改写剧本!

我就浩浩荡荡又走向柜台,此时祖的朋友都已经为我感到有点尴尬了,可想我感觉有多糗啊!

这一次我甚至很大方的跟祖同桌的人讲话!他也没察觉我的存在!

结果没办法,他们说要谢饭祷告了,大家闭起眼睛,他们就赶紧叫我坐在祖的正对面,开眼睛时他不可能不会看到我了!

这就是你们每个人等待的一幕戏。。。祖真正的反应!!

祷告完毕,大家说:阿们!

祖看上来了。。。我正视着他。。。他看着我。。。眼神很困惑。。。看着我。。。眼神很困惑。。。终于说话了。。。

语气很平常,毫无一丝兴奋和惊讶的成份,淡淡且呆呆的说:你为什么会在这里?

就这样!!是的,就这样!!

此时,我有冲动再改写剧本,写一部暴力版的,一拳打过去!但顾及到我是牧师的形象,这种戏我不能演,所以就罢了。。。

可是说真的,一般上善于应对的我此时也认输了,我也不会反应,不知要说什么,不知接下来要做什么,因为离原来的剧本太远、太远了。。。

哦,对了!我们忘了另外一位主角,载我来的007李牧师,这一段时间他都在哪里呢?原来那么长的一段时间,他还躲在外面,因为他从外面看进来,完全看不懂里面在演什么戏,所以不敢进来!哈哈哈,太好笑了!(他的脸本来长得都已很滑稽了,请看以下照片。。。)

如果你们是我,你们会有什么反应?说真的,我当时里面真的很不舒服,觉得一点意思都没有,哪有人这样迟钝的?在他面前晃了老半天,竟然一点都没察觉你的存在!真浪费我的苦心、机票、时间、精神。。。

但没办法,有一些人就是呆呆的,不能要求每个人像我一样。。。唉!

这就是祖的反应,满意吗?相信很多认识他的人会很认同这确实是他的反应。。。

“From outside the coffee bar I could see Jaydon clearly, talking and laughing with his friends… very good, everything went according to our script… Jaydon was sitting right in front of the counter, facing the counter… I acted like a normal customer walking very naturally to the counter to talk to the waiter…” all these are true!

But after that Jaydon did not follow the script anymore! So let’s continue the story from here…

My heart was pounding fast, feeling nervous because I was standing right in front of him, but thank goodness he did not look up as yet, I still had some parts to act…

But I noticed one thing, Jaydon’s friends all saw me, and they all know me too but none was surprised at all! Later I was told apart from Jaydon, they all knew I was coming!!! My goodness! I thought this was supposed to be a top secret? Pastor James Bond Lee explained that he must let one of them know then he could find out where they were going… But he said that one person had promised he would not let the others know, later the others told me that person did let all of them know!! Sigh, human…

Oh well, at least Jaydon still did not know! So I continued to act… Standing at the counter, the waiter asked me what I wanted, I did not answer because I was concentrating on Jaydon’s reaction from the mirror’s reflection…

He looked up! And looked down again to talk to his friends… He looked up again! And looked down again to talk to his friends!!

The waiter asked again: Sir, can I help you?

Me: Err… I want some coffee…

Waiter: Having here or takeaway?

Me: Err… here, here…

Waiter: Then can you please find a seat to sit down?

So I started making big movements in front of Jaydon, and he still did not look up! My fire was beginning to burn…

But as a professional actor, I must not let my mood affect my acting, I must continue to perform well… I walked to the table to his right and sat down facing him… still he did not look over…

I thought, no choice, I must adapt quickly and rewrite my script! Just as well we are good at spontaneous accommodation, I sent a text message to him: “Someone from our church said he saw you in a coffee bar, I think you might know him too, look to your right…”

After sending that message, I gave thanks for my quick adjustment to crisis! The new script caused me to feel excited again… I took the menu to half-cover my face, so that when he looked over he would be very curious whose face was behind that menu… Don’t you think I’m very good at creating atmosphere?

My hands were growing tired… at least 5 minutes had passed, even the waiter ignored me now, I was still waiting for Jaydon’s reaction…
Finally I couldn’t stand it, I put down the menu, he was still talking and laughing with friends! Because his handphone was on silent mode, he did not know there was a text message coming in! I just about exploded!

But you all know that like a cockroach, I don’t die easily, write another script!

Then with even bigger movements I walked to the counter again, by now all Jaydon’s friends were already feeling a bit awkward for me, imagine how embarrassing it must have been for me!

This time I even very openly talked to the people same table with him! Yet he did not notice my existence!

Again no choice, by now they said they wanted to give thanks for the food, so everybody shut their eyes, and quickly they asked me to sit directly in front of Jaydon, so when he opened his eyes, it would be impossible that he could not see me!

This is the scene all of you have been waiting for… Jaydon’s real reaction!!

After the prayer, everybody said: Amen!

Jaydon looked up… I was staring at him… he looked at me… with puzzled eyes… he looked at me… with puzzled eyes…
finally he spoke…

With a very normal tone, not a bit of excitement or surprise element, very mildly and sheepishly said: Why are you here?

Just like that!! Yes, just like that!!

At this moment, I had the urge to write another script, a violent one, to give him a box in the face! But remembering my image as a pastor, I can’t act in such a movie, so I just let it be…

But honestly, normally someone very good at responding to unpredictable situations, this time I surrendered, I did not know how to respond, I did not know what to say, I did not know what to do next, because all this was just too far from my original script…

Oh, by the way, we have forgotten about the other actor in this movie, Pastor James Bond Lee who drove me there, where was he all this while? Well, for all that long time, he was still hiding outside because looking from outside, he could not quite follow the progress of the movie inside, so he did not dare to come in! Hahaha! That’s so hilarious! ( He naturally already has a very comical look, see photo below…)

If you were I, what reaction would you have? Honestly, at that time, I was not feeling very comfortable inside, I felt everything was so meaningless, how could a person be so dumb? Displaying myself in front of him for all that time and he did not even notice my existence! Really wasted my effort, air ticket, time, energy…

But what to do? Some people are just like that, can’t expect everyone to be like me… sigh!

This is Jaydon’s reaction, are you satisfied? I believe many who know him would agree and confirm this would be his actual reaction…

他后来有解释他为什么有这种反应:

1) 他真的无法理解我为什么会突然间出现,他没说话因为一直在想这个问题。。。(到第二天还一直问我们为什么会知道他在那边!哎哟,这种小儿科我们都搞不定,我和007李牧师还能做牧师吗?!)

2) 他那天太累了所以无法有反应。。。

3) 他感觉好像是假的或在做梦。。。

4) 我觉得这个才是最真实的:他一时无法转台,原来他也有他的剧本!因为我一整天都还没发任何祝福他生日快乐的简讯给他,他说就连某某某和某某某,跟他都不是 很亲的都会记得他的生日,怎么我竟然忘记了呢?!眼看剩下两小时半就十二点生日过了,他已气在心头一整天,已预备好在十二点发一则很不满和受伤的简讯给 我。。。哪知道令伯竟然突然间出现在他眼前!情绪一时扭转不过来。。。

唉。。。这年头牧师真的不容易当啊。。。

Later he did explain the reasons for his reaction:

1) He really could not comprehend how I could suddenly appear like that, he did not speak ‘cos he was pondering about this question all the time… ( till the next day he was still asking me how I knew where he was! Oh, come on, if we could not even handle such a minor assignment, can Pastor James Bond Lee and I still be pastors?!)

2) He was very tired that night so he could not react…

3) He felt it was unreal or he was in a dream…

4) I feel this one is the real reason: He could not switch his channel suddenly because he had his own script too! Because I did not send him any birthday greeting at all that whole day, he said even so and so, and so and so, people not so close to him could remember his birthday, how could I forget his birthday?! And only two and a half hours left to 12 midnight and his birthday would be over, he was feeling angry throughout the day already, and had already prepared to send a text message of anger and hurt to me as soon as  the clock struck twelve… But unexpectedly Uncle GT suddenly appeared in front of him! So he could not adjust to the sudden change of moods…

Sigh… it is really not easy to be a pastor nowadays…

三个例外人在跳,还有一个在哪里? 3 Remnant members jumping, where was the other one?

再看看以下的照片,例外人团员明明有四位,你如果注意的话,这些照片中只有三位在跳,另外一位在哪里?没有跳的是哪一位?

我知道你们一定会自以为很聪明,马上很简单的回答说:他负责拍照啦!。。。是吗?那为什么不一下子拍三个人?而是每次只有两个人在照片当中?

我说,看起来是照片中的人轮流互拍,所以才一次只拍两个人;若果是这样,那第四位例外人到底在哪里?他在做什么?

留些评语看你猜得对吗。。。

Look at the photos below again, we know there are four Remnant members, but if you look closely, you would notice only three were doing the jumping act, where was the other one? And who is the missing one?

I know you all will think yourselves very clever by answering hastily and simply saying “he was taking the photos for them, what else?”… Really? Then why didn’t he take all three at one go instead of just having two persons in each photo each time?

I say, it looks like the people in the photos took turns to take the photos, that is why you only see two persons each time; if that is the case, then where was the 4th Remnant? What was he doing?

Leave some comments to see whether you can guess right…

这两个是谁?Who are these two?

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同样的两个人。。。The same two guys again…

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第三位也出现了!  The 3rd guy appeared!

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祖仿佛越跳越凶,有跳上瘾之嫌。。。在火车轨道上乱跳,不良示范,小孩莫学习!
Jaydon seems to be getting fiercer and more aggresive, I suspect he is getting addicted to the jumping game…
Jumping like crazy on railway track, very bad demonstartion, children must not imitate!

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那第四位呢?他在哪里?他为什么没跳?他在做什么?(答案不是他在拍照!)
Then where was the 4th guy? Why didn’t he join in the jump? What was he doing?
( The answer is not he was taking the pictures! )

田圣他没跳,因为。。。 Daniel was not jumping because…

对啦,四个例外人当中其中没有跳的是田圣,答案太清楚了!
Ya, you all are right, of the four Remnant, the only one who was not jumping was Daniel, so very obvious!

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但至于他为什么没跳?你们多数的答案也几乎都很准确,可见你们对我们这“神秘”酷帅的底细也挺清楚的。。。
其实两次都如阿保所说的,田圣正在逃避欧洲强烈的阳光。。。
But as to why he did not join in the jumping fun, most of your answers are rather accurate too, so it seems you all do quite know the background of our “mysterious” Mr. Cool…
Actually both times were as Rambo had said, Daniel was escaping from the scorching European sun…

第一次的地点是葡萄牙海边,他老早就快步走到海边躲在岩石下。。。
The first time was at the seaside in Portugal, he walked very quickly to the beach and hid under some rock…

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第二次是在瑞士上山观光的小火车站。。。
The second time was at the little train station where the train takes you up the hill for a tour…
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但你们猜的有一些原因也蛮正确的。。。比如。。。
But some of your answers are quite true too… For example…

(1) eunice says: 他懒得开口,也许也是懒得跳咯。。。不然,就是觉得很无聊。。。
( He is lazy to open his mouth, so perhaps lazy to jump as well… or he thought it was very silly… )
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(2) 翠微 says: 田圣哈?他站边看热闹咯。他那么酷,那里会作这样释放的动作呢。。。
( Daniel? Standing at the side to watch all the excitement. He is so cool, he surely wouldn’t do such a wild act…)
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(3) Alison says: I agree with what Chui Wei had said, Daniel just stood on one side and watched with a tiny bit of smile on his ‘Cool” face…
(我赞成翠微说的,田圣就只站在一边观看,酷酷的脸上带着一丝笑容。。。)
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(4) Shirley Ngu(吴太) says: 我猜。。。田圣是懒得拍照,这动作他不想拍,又或是他在很专注的思考,或是在发呆。。呵呵~~
( I guess… Daniel was too lazy to take picture, or he was not keen on such action, or he was in deep thought or was simply day-dreaming…)
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(5) sarah says: …I think may be he is too shy to jump le…^^
(。。。我想他是太害羞不敢跳吧。。。^^)
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(6) ESTHER CHIANG says: 我猜“田聖”想其師“林牧師”都沒跳像他們那個樣子,那他干嘛跳。。。
( I guess Daniel thought, his master Pastor Lim was not jumping like them, then why should he…)
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(7) chung yi says: 他在找最適合他的場景,但找不到有一絲絲朦朧美的畫面符合他的形象。
( He was looking for a more suitable scenery but could not find one enchantingly beautiful place to suit his image.)
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(8)最不可能的原因是这个/ The most unlikely reason is this:chiew fung says: He sings lah…. (他在唱歌。。。)
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(9) 其实还有一个原因,记得这张照片吗,火车冲过来的时候拍的?
Actually there was one more reason, remember this photo that was taken when the train was coming right towards the target?

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。。。当时田圣负责收拾残局。。。(有注意到他抱着的黑袋吗?)
…at that time, Daniel was in charge of cleaning up the mess…
(You noticed the black plastic bag he was holding?)
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跳的艺术。。。 The art of jumping…

经我那么优美的一跳,很多人议论纷纷说是假跳,电脑造假等等。。。唉,真是人心比万物都诡诈!
After seeing my beautiful jump, so many controversies resulted accusing that it is fake, computer effect etc… sigh! How wicked human hearts are!

291-1208Fa (6)

好啦,好啦!与其一天到晚妒忌我,倒不如来学学我跳的艺术!看我今天心情好,就请我几个学生来免费传授给你们几招跳的艺术吧!

Ok, ok! Rather than feeling so jealous of me the whole day, why not learn from me the art of jumping! Since I’m in a good mood today, I’ll ask my students to teach you some artistic jumping skills for free!

(1)刚开始学习时,不要一飞冲天,先学一只脚离开地面(看后面那个)。。。如果害怕想哭,像前面那位,那也很正常,要慢慢适应。。。
When you first start to learn, don’t be too ambitious and jump too high, just let one leg leave the ground first (see the guy at the back)… If you are afraid and wanna
cry like the guy in front, that’s very normal, you will adjust slowly…

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(2) 你看,胜过恐惧,跳得很高,肚脐都跑出来了。。。后面那个,奇怪?怎么还是只是一只脚起来?
See, after overcoming the initial fear, you can jump very high, even exposing your belly button… but the guy at the back, strange… how come still only one leg in the air?

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(3)会越练越进步,你如果像天才阿Hen那么有观察力,很会注意角度、动作等等,跟上面一张比,你会知道他们有进步:1. 肚脐和肚子露得更明显了;2. 后面的虽然右脚还是不离地,但是左脚和
双手抬得更高了!
You will improve as you practise more. If you are like Genius Hen who is so observant noticing the anlges, movements etc, and compare the photo above, you will
notice that they have improved: 1. The belly button and tummy are more obvious now; 2. and the guy at the back, though the right leg is still on the ground, the left leg
and hands are lifted higher now!

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(4)有时换换同伴对你也会有帮助,你看后面那个终于进步了,跳得更高了,肚脐也跑出来了!
Sometimes it helps to have a different partner, see the guy at the back, finally he has improved, now he can jump higher and the belly button is showing too!

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(5)前面那个跳得很好很自然,但他不是我的学生,他是天生的。。。但后面那个好像跳到有点变白痴了!
The guy in front can jump very well and is very natural, but he is not my student, he was born with it… but the guy behind seems to have become a bit cuckoo…

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(6)但这玩意要很小心,会跳上瘾,到处乱跳!
But must be careful with this game, because you can get addicted and start jumping all over the place!

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(7)不管生命危险,在火车轨道上也跳,真是儿童不宜!
No regard for safety, jumping above railway tracks even, really not suitable for children!

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(8)而且会越跳越凶,越疯狂。。。你看祖的脸,跟第一张照片判若两人!
And you can become fiercer and crazier as you jump… just look at Jaydon’s face, compared with the 1st photo, like two entirely different persons!

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(9)这个最疯,我强调他不是我的学生。。。这张是火车冲过来的时候拍的,过后就没有再拍了。。。
This guy is the craziest, let me emphasize, he is not my student… this picture was taken when the train was rushing towards him, after that we didn’t take any more
shots…

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