October 6, 2011

立下心志，这一次40天禁食要跟以往不一样。。。
我要每天有聆听的耳，敏锐的灵，要从上帝那里得着启示，听到他跟我说话，并把它记录下来。。。

愿40天过后，这也成为我的日常习惯，到老到死。。。
其实在大学期间，有一段日子我有培养这个习惯，但不知曾几何时已消失的无影无踪！
求主怜悯！也求主复苏我的灵～

这一次从10月3日开始，一直到11月11日为期40天的禁食，只喝饮料，不吃任何固体食物，一直到最后10天，只喝白开水，求主保守及引领。。。

以下是第一天的领受。。。

I am determined to make the 40-day fast this time different from the previous ones…
I want to have listening ears, sensitive spirity, to receive revelations from God and hear Him talking to me, and to record all that down…

May after these 40 days, this will also become my daily habit, till old, till death…
In fact I did cultivate this habit for a certain period during my university years, but I cannot remember since when has that disappeared totally!
May God have mercy! And may God restore my soul~

This time, starting October 3rd till November 11th, for a total of 40 days, I will only take drinks, no solid food whatsoever, until the final 10 days just taking plain water, may God uphold and guide me…

The following is what I received on the 1st day…

第一天：10月3日(一)
如往常我星期一待在家里。。。
意想不到的写了一首歌，跟我一向来写的歌比较不同形式。通常写的都较“重情感”，倾心吐意那一类歌曲，可是今天写的却是“属灵”或圣经字眼比较显着的，如“和撒那！和撒那！”。。。如同当初犹太人欢呼，欢迎耶稣进入耶路撒冷城的情景。。。

反复思想，我想这是一个预言或启示吧，就是上帝要我们这40天的禁食，最主要的渴望就是欢迎他进入我们的生命、教会、城市、国家。。。歌好听不好听是其次，重点是要有渴望及兴奋耶稣同在临到的那颗心。。。

Day 1 : October 3rd (Mon)
As usual I stayed home on Monday…
Unexpectedly I wrote a song, and it is rather different from my typical style of songs. Normally my songs are more “emotional”, pouring your heart out type, but today the one I wrote has obviously more “spiritual” or Biblical words, for instance “Hosanna! Hosanna!”… just as the scene when the Jews rejoiced and welcomed Jesus into Jerusalem…

As I pondered more, I think this must be a prophecy or revelation, that is God wants us for these 40-day fast to desire above all the welcoming of Him into our lives, church, city, country… Whether the song sounds nice or not is secondary, the important thing is to have that heart that hungers for and feels excited about the presence of Jesus coming to us…

 

Translation of the song:

We welcome Your presence

Hosanna in the highest, hosanna
Hosanna, O gates, lift up your heads
Glory, glory
King of kings, Jesus, You are my King

See He who comes on a donkey
The gentle King, Humble King
I will open up my heart to You
Prince of Peace, I welcome You in

May my worship be like the clashing waves
Lord of the universe, I welcome You…

 

 

写完了才发现这欢迎主到来的歌，真的配合到我们禁食的原因！
感谢主第一天就给予这样的鼓励～
願神恩膏我在這40天內寫更多榮耀他的詩歌。。。

It was only after writing, I realized it is a song welcoming the Lord’s presence, that really flows with the reason we fast!
Thank God for such an encouragement on the first day~
May God anoint me to write more songs to glorify Him during this 40-day period.

 

October 5, 2011

 

这一次，2011年10月3日一直到11月11日的40天禁食，应该是我第三次40天全禁吧，21天全禁也做过两次，几次都碰到我生日的时候，这一次也不例外。。。
若不是神，我无法想像也无法做到这样长时间的禁食。所以，我没什么厉害，也没什么了不起，不必称赞和羡慕我，若神的灵没有带领、感动及加添力量，这是不可能的事，我也不会想要这样做。。。

This time, the 40-day fast from 03/10/11 to 11/11/11 has to be my third time fasting 40 days completely. I also did 21-day full fast twice, and a few times my fasting period coincided with my birthday, this time is no exception…
If not for God, I cannot imagine and I will not be able too to go on such a long fast. So, there is nothing great or super about me, there is no need to compliment or admire me, if the Spirit of God does not lead, prompt or give me strength, this is impossible and I will not want to do it as well…

有人问我一些健康、体力、营养的问题等等，问我怎样处理、克服或解决等等。。。
我也没答案，我只能说我每天一样操作，一样上班，服事等等，健康没出问题，我觉得反而变得更健康。。。

Some people asked me questions with regard to health, physical strength and nutrition issues etc, they asked how I handled, overcame or dealt with and so on…
I have no answer. All I can say is, I still functioned like normal everyday, I still went to work and serve etc, my health is alright, and in fact I feel I have become healthier…

 

我只记得第一次禁40天的时候，第39天的早上发现自己躺在房间门口，可能血糖太低突然起来时晕倒了，但当然我一点也没受伤。也是在那一次开始吃的时候，第一次上厕所排泄粪便很困难，甚至流血了；我就向上帝祷告医治，也“提醒”他我禁食是为了他的国，马上就得医治了！

所以一切都得归荣耀给上帝，没有他是不可能的！

All I remember was the first time when I was having the 40-day full fast, I found myself lying near my bedroom door in the morning on the 39th day, perhaps my blood sugar was too low and I fainted while getting up abruptly, but of course I was not injured in any way. And it was also that time when I began to eat again, I had great difficulty the first time I went to the toilet to excrete my motion, I even bled. So I prayed to God foe healing and “reminded” Him that I fasted for His kingdom, and I was healed immediately!

That is why we must give all the glory to God, it is impossible without Him!

 

最后一次禁40天是好多年以前的事了，一直不敢想像还有下一次，因为那种40天不吃东西的情景想起来也太恐怖了，人再爱漂亮、再怕肥胖，还是不能不吃东西的。所以里面会“很怕”上帝突然又感动我全禁40天。。。其实这种“担心”真的是多余的，因为倘若是来自上帝的感动，他自然会帮助你完成！就如同现在，不知不觉又开始全禁40天了。。。

The last time I went on a 40-day full fast was quite a few years back, since then I did not dare to imagine another time, because the scenario of not eating anything at all for 40 days was kind of scary to think about. No matter how beauty conscious you are, how scared of being overweight you are, you still cannot do without food. So inside me, I was kind of “scared” that God might prompt me to do another 40-day full fast… Actually this kind of “worry” is really unnecessary because if the prompting is really from God, He naturally will help you to accomplish it! Just like now, all of a sudden we have begun the 40-day full fast again…

 

老实说，这一次全禁40天的感动年头就有了，我只是等候上帝的时间。起初也有一点担心自己是否做得到，因为太久没这样做了。。。可是当我看到很多年轻人都愿意陪着我一起全禁40天的时候，那莫名的力量就从我心里涌现，我就不再惧怕了。。。

这一次的禁食，我比以往更认真和兴奋，心里也充满期待，要看到神要做又新又奇妙的事，也期待神每天的启示和感动；所以我这一次会每天记录灵里的领受和感动，尽量每天都在这里刊登我的“禁食日记”，好跟你们分享，希望也会鼓励到你们，阿们！

Honestly, this prompting to have a full 40-day fast came at the beginning of the year, I was only waiting for God’s timing. At first I was kind of worried whether I could do it as after all I have not done it for a long time… but when I saw many young people are willing to accompany me through this journey of fasting 40 days without food, that unexplained strength started to well up from my heart, and I no longer feel afraid…

The fasting this time, I am feeling more serious and excited than all the previous ones, and my heart is full of expectancy to see God doing new and wonderful things. I also long for God to reveal His heart everyday. So this time I will record what I receive or sense in my spirit, and will try my best to post here everyday as “Fasting Diary” to share with you all, hopefully this will encourage you all as well, Amen!

October 4, 2011

 

写了一篇“昨夜又梦见了你”，导致好一些人很好奇这个“你”到底是谁。。。
好奇还没关系，只要不要自以为那个“你”是自己就好了，哈哈！
今天就来给你揭开这个谜。。。

Wrote the article “I dreamt of you again last night” and caused some to be very curious who that “you” is…
It is still alright to be curious as long as you do not start thinking that “you” is yourself, haha!
Today, I shall reveal the answer to you…

 

其实有一些人还挺厉害的，一猜就中！大概是看习惯了我写作的模式而开始抓得到我的思路吧。。。？
看来我需要寻找别的方式来吊人胃口了。。。

嗯。。。我所讲的“你”其实就是我童年长大的老家！

Actually some people are quite sharp, they guessed right immediately! Perhaps they are by now used to my style of writing, so can kind of capture my trend of thought…?
Looks like I have to seek for new methods to keep people in suspense now…

Hmm… the “you” I was referring to is really my childhood home which I grew up in!

 

虽然十三岁我就离开父母及老家，出来古晋求学，可是每当午夜梦回时，我梦见的依然是我这童年简陋的老木屋。。。
很多童年情景还会出现在梦里，爸爸还健在，妈妈还年轻。。。醒来时，总有一丝丝伤感。。。

Though I left my parents and my old home when I was thirteen to come out to study in Kuching, each time if I dreamt of my past, it would always be my childhood’s old wooden house…
Scenes of my childhood would reappear, dad still around, mum still young… and when I wake up, there is always this tinge of sadness…

 

我们家境比较贫穷，下雨天屋顶会漏水，家中没有厕所。。。
下面那一张就是我们的客厅，是华人新年装饰的最漂亮的时候；照片中的我是1998年从纽西兰回来过年的时候拍的。。。

We were quite poor, the roof would leak when it rained, and there was no toilet in the house…
The photo below shows our lounge in its best, decorated for Chinese New Year. That was me in 1998 coming home for Chinese New Year from New Zealand…

 

我纽西兰好友Jamie跟我一起回来过年，二哥背后的小门通往厨房和饭厅（看下图）。。。
我背后的墙就是我们一群孩子共用的房间，我很想念，很想念这个家。。。写着这文章时，眼角也有泪水。。。

My New Zealand good friend, Jamie came celebrate Chinese new Year with me, the door behind my 2nd brother leads to the kitchen and dining (see below)…
The wall behind me is the room that all of us, the kids shared. I really, really miss this house… even as I write this, there are tears in the corner of my eyes…

 

我大哥两个女儿，美清和美声。。。
看吧，我们连像样的窗都没有，我就是在这饭桌吃饭长大。。。有些人还以为我是富贵公子出身！
我非常遗憾没有拍到更多老家的照片。。。

My eldest brother’s daughters, Flora and Melody…
See, we did not even have proper windows, and that was the dining table where I had my meals and grew up with… and some people thought I came from a rich background!
I really regret not taking more pictures of my old house…

 

 

婴孩是大哥小儿子。
你隐约可看到厨房的屋顶，右边是爸妈的小房间，我们家就只两个房间。
看了照片，你大概就会体会我所写的这句：
“虽然表面上你并不美丽
却留给我许多美丽的回忆
没有你也不会有今天的自己”

The baby is my eldest brother’s youngest son.
You can vaguely see the kitchen roof here, to the right is my parents’ room, there were only two rooms in my house.
After seeing these pictures, you can perhaps appreciate my writing this:
“Though you do not possess outward beauty
You leave with me such beautiful memories
Without you I will not be who I am today”

 

 

多少梦里，我依然在这小路奔跑
多少夜里，这条小路引我回家。。。
后面被树叶遮盖的是我家的屋顶。

In so many dreams, I was still running on this small road
And in so many nights, this small road led me home…
You can see the roof of my house hidden among the trees.

 

我爱我的家，因为在这家里我找到爱。。。
它让我明白有爱可以不计较环境
它让我体会有爱就会有最美的回忆

I love my house because I found love there…
It taught me that with love the environment is not an issue
It made me realize where there is love, there will always be beautiful memories