部落格 Blog

黑是“man”,白是“娘”? Dark is “macho” and fair is “feminine”?

真的,随着时代的改变,人的观念、品味、偏好等等很可能也会随之改变。。。
记得在我中学,甚至大学那些年代,皮肤白皙的男生总会给人一种很娘或很弱的感觉。
所以,当时我是故意把自己晒得黑黑,甚至有时候故意穿着短裤和背心,在中午十二点烈日之下把自己晒黑!

It is true, as time changes, people’s values, tastes, preferences etc may change along with time too…
I remember during my high school or even university years, guys with fair skin gave the impression of femininity or weakness. So during that period of time, I often went under the sun to get my skin tanned severely on purpose. Sometimes I would even purposely go under the sun at 12 noon in shorts and singlet to make myself dark!

再加上到纽西兰留学时,洋人又特别喜欢我们那种被太阳“烧焦”的古铜色,而他们却偏偏晒不成那种颜色,所以我就喜欢让洋人看到我的很阳光和“健康美丽”的肤色。。。

Furthermore when I was studying in New Zealand, the Caucasians somehow liked our scorched copper tone colour as they could never get that colour no matter how long they spent under the sun. So I loved to let the whites see my very sunshine, “healthy and beautiful” skin colour…

当有人说我很黑时,我听了是很高兴;尽管他们不是赞赏,而是很负面的觉得我太黑不好看,我依然感觉他们是在称赞我。就如同现今很多人若被讲“太瘦”,听起来都不会被得罪,还会觉得很高兴一样,哈哈!

反之,在那个时代若有人讲我皮肤很白,我会很不舒服和尴尬,觉得他们是在讥笑我“娘”。。。。

If anyone commented that I was really dark, I would feel very happy even if they were actually saying it negatively as a criticism that I did not look nice because I was too dark, I would still feel that it was a compliment. This is quite similar to now when some people say you are “too thin”, you would not feel offended no matter how, and still feel happy, haha!

Conversely, during that period of time, if anyone had said that my skin colour was very fair, I would have felt very embarrassed and awkward feeling that they were criticizing me for being feminine…

 

说真的,我也不太清楚我的皮肤到底是“黑底”,还是“白底”。。。你们觉得呢?
Honestly, I am not very sure whether my original skin colour was more on the dark or fair side… what do you guys think?

 

可是现在时代改变了,男孩子皮肤很白早已经被接受,而且很多男生都刻意要使肌肤变白,被人讲白也不会感觉羞耻,还会很高兴。。。除了审美观、品味、思想改变之外,这也由于知识上晓得过份被烈日曝晒对皮肤也不好。

皮肤或黑或白,没有对错,只是个人偏好、文化、观点等等,这种观念可随着时代的变化而改变,以前不被接受的现在被接受,以前认为是不对的,现在认为并没什么问题。这种例子包括:妻子也上班啦、男人也可以洗衣煮饭啦、穿牛仔裤啦、染发啦等等(以前我是反对染发的,哈哈!)。。。

But nowadays time has changed, people readily accept guys with fair skin and many guys try to make their skin fairer on purpose, and guys would not feel embarrassed but instead feel happy when people comment they look fair…
Apart from the change of beauty views, tastes and thinking, of course the knowledge of direct exposure to the scorching sun is unhealthy for the skin is also a factor to this change…

There is no right or wrong whether your skin is dark or fair, it is just a matter of preferences, culture or opinions etc. This kind of thinking can change with time. What were not accepted before can be accepted now, what were considered as wrong before may not be any issue now. Some examples are: wives are allowed to have a career too, men can also cook and do the washing, wearing jeans, dyeing hair etc (I used to oppose dyeing of hair, haha!)…

 

我本身认为有一些东西是中立的,没有对错之分,只是时代改变,随着知识和思想的进步,有一些东西是可以被接受为正常和没问题的,只要不冲突到真理和神的原则。

然而,我的立场是有一些东西是永远都要持守的,不管时代怎样变迁,只要是神的话明确不赞成的,我们就不能妥协,譬如婚前性关系、色情文化等等。。。这些都有明显上帝准则,对错与黑白分明,无论社会进展到什么地步,我们都不能抛弃这些价值观。。。你赞成吗?

Personally I feel certain things are neutral, there is no right or wrong. As time changes, knowledge and thinking advance, certain things can be accepted as normal and alright, as long as they do not conflict with God’s Truth and principles.

However my stand is there are things we have to safeguard forever, no matter how time has changed, as long as the Word of God clearly disapproves, then we must not compromise, such as premarital sex, pornographic culture etc… All these have clear standards from God, telling you whether it is right or wrong, and black and white clearly spelled out. So, no matter how advanced society is, we must not abandon these values still… do you agree?

 

 

这问题要怎么答? How do you answer this question?

 

一位读者问说:

有些人做了一辈子的好人,可是他(她)就是不相信有上帝,这样的人死后,他们的灵魂会去哪里呢? 难道会去地狱吗?

那这样的话, 会不会不太公平呢? 难道一定要信上帝的人才能上天堂吗?

***你们能帮我先回答吗?
(但请注意!!!!请在网站这里回答,而不是在Facebook。。。这里能写较清楚、较长,Facebook那边不适合。也请耐心等待,因为在这里留言,不会马上出现,我需要先过滤,谢谢!!)

A reader asked:

Some people live life as a good person, but they just do not believe in God, for such, where will they go when they die? Do they go to hell?

If so, isn’t that very unfair? Must you believe in God in order to go to heaven?

*** Can you help me answer this question first?

(But please NOTE!!!! Please answer here at this website, and not in my Facebook… You can write clearer and longer here, it is not so suitable in my FB. And please be patient to wait too because for comments left here, I need to sieve through before publishing, thanks!!)

他痛苦的說:我不要死。。。(續) He said painfully: I don’t want to die… (Part 2)

我到医院了解状况,医生说因为他喝了杀虫剂,他的喉咙、气管和胃都烧坏了,不能再吃和喝东西,情况很糟糕,应该过不了今晚。
我走到他床边,他看到我,他很清醒,还能说话。我握住他的手,我说为什么要这样做?
他很激动的看着我,眼泪在眼眶打转,说:牧师,对不起,我不要死,我現在真的不要死了。。。耶稣会原谅我吗?

我为他祷告,求主赦免和怜悯,也求主彰显神迹。我午夜十一点左右离开,那时他还不能吃东西,本以为他那晚就会去世的。。。

神迹发生了!第二天早上医院传过来的消息说,他精神很好,而且竟然能够正常的吃和喝!但X光明明显示那是不可能的,因为喉咙、食道、一直到胃等等,真的都烧坏了!
我都很怀疑医生的诊断或有没有看错,医生却还是很肯定,只是没办法解释这现象。。。
他继续正常几天,我开始相信他会活下来。

第四天,院方来消息说。。。
他死了。
我很震惊!

据说,第三天下午他把母亲叫来医院,求母亲原谅,说他不是一个好儿子,没好好照顾及供应给母亲。
然后,听隔壁床的说,他那天晚上就一直轻轻的唱诗歌到凌晨,然后就很安静了。
隔壁的以为他因为累而睡着了,哪知护士来检查时,他已安然去世,没有痛苦、没有挣扎。。。
自己轻轻赞美敬拜主而离开这个世界,我想这是主给他的怜悯吧?我也相信是主亲自来把他接回天家了。

在丧礼的那一天,他母亲特别走过来告诉我他儿子说,虽然他很没用,但是这世界还有一个人爱他。他告诉他母亲说牧师爱他,每次都会抱他一下。。。
想到这里,我感到惭愧,这么容易的一个举动,有时候我都不太愿意给,可是这个小举动 却让他感受到世界还有人爱他。
然而,我也感恩我有顺服神在我心中的感动。。。

主啊,让我的心永远不要刚硬,让我时刻能体会你的心,而会甘心顺服你旨意。。。

I went to the hospital to understand the situation. The doctor said because he drank pesticide, his throat, trachea and stomach were all burnt and damaged, so he could not eat or drink anything anymore. The condition was very severe, the doctor predict he could not survive through that night.

I walked towards his bed. He looked at me, he was very alert and could still speak. I held his hand and asked why he did that.
He looked at me with much emotion, tears circling his eyes and said, “Pastor, I’m sorry, I don’t want to die, I really don’t want to die now… Will Jesus forgive me?”

I prayed for him, for the Lord to forgive and have mercy on him, and also for God to manifest His miracle. I left at about eleven midnight, at that time he still could not eat anything. I thought he would pass away that night…

Miracle happened! News from the hospital the next morning said he was very alert mentally, and he could even eat and drink normally! But the X-ray report clearly stated that was not possible because his throat etc all the way to the stomach were all damaged! I really doubted the doctor’s conclusion or examination, the doctor was still very adamant though could not explain the phenomenon… He continued to be normal for the next few days. I began to believe that he was going to survive.

On the fourth day, report from the hospital…
He died.
I was very shocked!

I heard, in the afternoon on the third day, he called his mother to his side. He asked for forgiveness from his mother saying he was not a good son, that he did not take good care of and provide for her. Then, according to the patient next to his bed, that night he was singing songs of praise softly and continuosly till dawn, and he became very quiet.
His neighbour thought he must have grown tired and fell asleep, but when the nurse came around to check, he had passed away peacefully, no pain, no struggle…
Singing softly to the Lord till he left this world, guess that was God’s mercy for him? And I also believe it was the Lord Himself who came to bring him home.

On the day of the funeral, his mother came over specially to me and told me her son said, though he was useless, there was still someone who loved him in this world. He told his mother that his pastor loved him and would hug him everytime…
I felt ashamed as I think about this, such an easy act and sometimes I would be so unwilling to give. And yet this little act caused him to feel there was still someone who loved him in this world.
However, I did thank God I obeyed His prompting in my heart.

O Lord, may my heart never grow hard, may I feel Your heart every moment and willingly obey Your desire…